Seattle police: Masturbating driver targeted Metro passengers
A Seattle driver accused of masturbating behind the wheel while gawking at a woman on a passing Metro bus has been charged with indecent exposure.
King County prosecutors contend Jeffrey Robertson exposed himself to the woman shortly before 7 a.m. on Aug. 21 while stuck in traffic in downtown Seattle. Robertson, 43, has been charged with felony indecent exposure.
Speaking with police, the woman claimed the incident was actually the third time Robertson had exposed himself to her in recent months. According to charging papers, the woman said Robertson appeared to slow his car each time to pull alongside the bus near the intersection of 9th Avenue and Stewart Street.
Concerned she was somehow being targeting by strange man, the woman called 911 and reported the black Volvo station wagon’s license plate number. According to charging papers, the woman provided photos and video showing Robertson in the act.
Lordy. Seattle has its share of crazies year-round, but there’s something about the approaching winter that really brings them out of the woodwork. And to think this creepo may have been stalking the same passenger in his car day after day… Yecchhh.
First Cases Of Flesh-Eating Homemade Drug Krokodil Reported In United States
This is when America starts to resemble a zombie movie. CBS News on the super-potent, cheap heroin substitute made from codeine, gasoline, and paint thinner that causes tissue necrosis.
Sweet Zombie Jesus! Apparently this is real, and while it’s far more widespread in Russia, I can see it catching on here because people are depressed and crazy enough to try it. Crystal meth is very bad — I know several people who battle with that addiction constantly — and it’s not something that law enforcement has been able to keep at bay. What the hell are they going to do when this shit becomes the latest life-destroying addiction in America? I honestly don’t think they’ll be able to do anything about it. They can’t keep people from buying the basic components of meth, after all, so how in the world will they keep people from cooking this shit up with gasoline, paint thinner, and stuff scraped from matchboxes? The obvious thing to do is clamp down even more on the sale of codeine, but there’s only so much you can do. If this catches on, we may just have to sit back and let people zombify themselves, and help them as much as we can. Cheery thought.
A New Trend For Parents: Placenta Art Prints
With a little advance planning, parents can have a lifelong memento of their child’s birth (aside from their child, of course): A print made from the placenta. The placenta prints are made by taking the placenta after birth and placing it, along with the umbilical cord, on acid-free paper.
What… Why… How……uhhhh. OK, here’s the question: why are parents getting SO CRAZY about their babies? Why are babies such a weird cult? I don’t get it. I want to know what has shifted in our culture the past decade or so that has led parents to…this. Yeah, I don’t want kids and I’ll never have them, but I simply can’t imagine what goes through the minds of these parents who actually think that rubbing a bit of bloody placenta all over a piece of paper is actually something anyone would ever want. And why stop there? Why not smear your child’s first poop all over your hands and make some special, sentimental handprints? Is that any less crazy? I’ll bet there’s even some company you can pay to help you do that.
This is so stupendously crazy, I think I’m officially a fan! This guy is convinced that Nike is evil because it celebrates a pagan goddess. He wants to sell a Jesus shoe instead. Oh, it goes on and on. It looks like a joke, but if you read through the whole thing you’ll see that it’s definitely real and the product of a mind which is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. It’s fantastic.
I asked God to confirm that He wanted me to do the JESUS shoe for Love Sportswear.God told me to go to His Word without looking and place my pen down without looking.When I looked, it was on one Name… “Lord”… found in 1 Thessalonians 4:15…According to the Lords own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.
I thought it was interesting that God confirmed it that way since Nike did a poster called “The Second Coming”…A poster in which the players are looking AWAY from the light behind them… if that light is to make us think of Christ…It is insulting Jesus Christ by having them uninterested in His return!
My name is Charles Hubbard. If you think I am the Leader of Christians Against Nike… you would be wrong. JESUS IS THE LEADER OF CHRISTIANS AGAINST NIKE!
via Christians Against Nike: We Honor God Above The Goddess Nike!
Damn those women and their evil, tantalizing ways! Our only option is to block the image of their filthy boobs with blurry glasses. No, really.
An ultra-Orthodox organization has developed a range of products to act as a first line of defense against the threat of seeing immodest women, Israeli media reported on Tuesday.
In a change of tactics from previous ultra-Orthodox strategies that in the past have targeted women as the culprits of lasciviousness, the Committee for Purity in the Camp offers a variety of gadgets to limit the field of view and so prevent men from exposure to over-exposed women. The devices have recently gone on sale in ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods of Jerusalem and elsewhere.
Two semi-transparent stickers applied to the lenses of the user’s spectacles blur vision of anything beyond the range of a few meters and so diffuse immodestly dressed women to a harmless blot.
Determined to provide a solution for everyone, the committee also offers non-prescription glasses at NIS 130 $32.50. Those who are blessed with good vision and don’t require corrective glasses can buy a pair and then apply the stickers to the lenses, reducing their vision to a safe blur.
The organization also offers head scarfs that extend over the eyes for added protection against concupiscence.
via The Times of Israel
But wait, why not take this to its logical conclusion and just wear a blindfold everywhere? Grab a cane and tap your way through life without ever having to worry about seeing an uncovered leg, a boob, or a luscious pair of lips. Or here’s a radical idea: accept the fact that sexual thoughts are natural and biological, and not the product of an evil force (women) trying to tempt you into acts of pure evil. They may not be directly blaming women with these glasses, but the idea is still there.
As you can see in the video, expo celebrity psychic Jill Dahne claims through her sooth-saying powers that the asshole tat is going to be the next big thing.
So you may want to get a jump on it and get on this trend before all your friends do. So you can be all, “I got an asshole tattoo before it was cool, bro.”
And, according to the girl getting her own tattoo in the video, having a needle jabbing your rectum over and over again feels REALLY, REALLY GOOD!
via The Daily Pulp
Yeah, well…I’m having my entire colon tattooed. I’m thinking maybe Celtic knotwork, or perhaps a unicorn and rainbow. How about My Little Pony? That would be sooooo cute!
to be fucking kidding me. The famous Giant’s Causeway might have been specially sculpted by God Almighty just for us to enjoy? Just how much craic are these people smoking over there in Ireland?
I actually know someone who, whenever he takes a photo of something pretty, he remarks on how “God’s handiwork” is so awesome, etc. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough.
The National Trust has defended its decision to include references to creationist theory at a new state-of-the-art visitors’ centre at the Giant’s Causeway in Northern Ireland. The move was hailed by a christian group which said the gesture “both respects and acknowledges an alternative viewpoint” on the origins of the earth.
But after facing criticism for including theories that the planet is only 6,000 years old, the Trust said it had merely acknowledged the presence of such views and was committed to scientific evidence on the origins of the Causeway.
The issue of including creationist theories has sparked controversy in the past in Northern Ireland, when prominent members of the Democratic Unionist Party at Stormont lobbied for museums to include such opinions.
The Causeway is a Unesco World Heritage Site and features more than 40,000 interlocking basalt columns formed millions of years ago by volcanic activity.
Yes, this otherworldly being who created an entire universe of incomprehensible vastness and all it contains also
stopped by Earth to make some funky rocks specifically
for our appreciation. Makes sense to me! But why stop there? There are “alternative” explanations for several amazing natural wonders. Here, allow me to illustrate.
Maybe the Grand Canyon was created when God stamped his foot in anger. Hey, IT COULD HAPPEN!
Maybe the spires of Cappadocia are actually giant aphid eggs that never hatched. Oh yeah? PROVE THEY AREN’T!
Maybe the mesas of Monument Valley were created by massive sandworms which poked the rocks up with their giant heads. Sure, maybe not…but HOW CAN YOU KNOW??
Maybe the hole in Arizona’s Window Rock is really
the wedding ring of the goddess Bakalakadaka who accidentally dropped it down the cosmic drain and it ended up here frozen in time forever? SOUNDS LEGIT TO ME!
Holy shit! A burger restaurant named Heart Attack Grill — which advertises to our fattest, most disgusting and depressing citizens (even giving them free food if they weigh over 300 pounds) — has actually KILLED someone with its food. Dead. Right there in the fucking restaurant. Is this awesome or what? It’s like watching the American dream come to life right before our eyes! And how appropriate that Fox News was there on the scene.
LAS VEGAS FOX5 -A man suffered a heart attack at a restaurant known for glorifying bad eating habits. The ‘Heart Attack Grill’ lived up to its name Saturday night.
Amateur video of the man being wheeled out of the restaurant by EMTs was posted to several websites. “He was having the sweats and shaking,” said ‘Nurse’ Bridgett, who was working at the restaurant when the man in his 40s began experiencing chest pains.
“Doctor” Jon Basso, who opened the infamous restaurant in October, told FOX5 at first he thought it was a joke. “One of the nurses came back to me and said, ‘Dr. Jon, we’ve got a patient who’s in trouble.'”
The restaurant is known for not holding back on the food it serves. The menu includes items like Flatliner Fries, and Bypass Burgers. A meal can easily exceed 8,000 calories.
The gentleman who suffered the heart attack was in the middle of eating a Triple Bypass burger when he began experiencing the symptoms.
via FOX5 Vegas
This here is the founder of Heart Attack Grill. He died in March, 2011 due to “the flu.” Riiiight.
OK, OK…maybe it’s not “awesome” that some poor asshole died in this restaurant. But to me the concept is, because that’s the restaurant’s whole marketing shtick. “C’mon in and die while y’all eat, hyuk-hyuk! No, not really! But maybe!” It’s a horrifying and vastly depressing statement about what we’ve become as Americans. Imagine: some of us are so empty and unfulfilled that we eat ourselves to death. We’re a grotesque, morbidly obese nation and this restaurant is the pinnacle of what a nation of desperate face-stuffers can accomplish.
Have a nice day! 🙂
This has to be the most utterly ridiculous Christmas photo I’ve seen in ages: Santa Claus kneeling in front of a soldier’s gun with the American flag waving in the background. What stinky cesspit of Photoshop hell did this spring from?
Yes, I get the main message: our soldiers put their lives on the line and should be appreciated. But bringing god into the mix takes it to a whole new level of crazy. The group mentioned at the bottom are big on American exceptionalism — which they believe happens directly by the hand of god. Yeah. And, naturally, they hate Obama because that’s such a Christian thing to do nowadays.
How romantic! *gag* Talk about scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel in taste and dignity. This is almost (but not quite) as bad as that puke-inducing wedding at a Waffle House. I wonder if the bride threw a scalding-hot drink over her head for some unlucky bridesmaid to catch. That would actually be pretty awesome.
You homophobes who think marriage is still “sacred” can stick this right in your latte hole!
In a scene that could be straight out of Best In Show, a couple whose romanced blossomed over cups of Starbucks’ pricey caffeine decided that the java joint was the perfect place to bind themselves together for eternity.
The dream wedding happened last night at a Starbucks in Tulsa, where the couple has become a bit of a fixture during their time together.
via The Consumerist.