Yeah, it’s sort of a tabloid story…but some people really believe they’re seeing this shit!
Miss Crane said she began making a shrine to the sock, but when she moved it, some of its delicate creases fell away and the image is now not as clear.
‘But you can still just about make out his face,’ she said.
‘Unfortunately, it’s not quite good enough to donate to our local church, but our friends have all been round to see it.’
via Mail Online
OK, this Virgin Mary sighting borders on the disgusting. Workers at a chocolate company have discovered a stick of hardened chocolate droppings (a choco-stalagmite, if you will) that they say resemble Mary. And, as you can guess, they’re falling all over themselves to worship this “holy relic”…and cash in on the publicity, of course. Christ, how much stupider can people be?
Since the discovery Monday, Angiano’s employees have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it. “I was raised to believe in the Virgin Mary, but this still gives me the chills,” Angiano said as she balanced the dark brown figure in her hand. “Everyone should see this.”
Oh, I see it all right. In fact, I see something strikingly similar every morning during my restroom pitstop to “drop some kids off at the pool.” No, I don’t pray to my poo, but if gullible folks out there can see Mary in a hunk of congealed chocolate, why wouldn’t they see her in one of my turds? I could make a fortune.
Thanks to BikerDude and Mychael who sent this to me within half an hour of each other. Either great minds think alike, or I’m just getting predictable. 🙂
My friend Jon sent this in:
I saw this and thought of you: “Holy” chip reveals itself to woman on flight
I am now thoroughly convinced that the virgin mary is a purple bubble headed alien. It looks like a cross between the tall thin robots in A.I. and the digusting aliens in Dreamcatcher. I am now compelled to go looking for signs of the virgin mary in all aspects of my life.
Bloody hell. If opening a bag of chips is all it takes to find God and Mary and stuff, then I’m off to the mini-mart right after work! And who knows…maybe if I buy some Hostess Ding Dongs I’ll find the Shroud of Turin imprinted in swirly chocolate. Oh boy!
I’m a little late blogging this one, but had to do it anyway. Some chef tried the usual get-rich-quick scheme on eBay by auctioning her miracle potato, hoping that a company like Golden Palace Casino would take the bait…even though it was obviously something she did herself. I mean, come on. I don’t care how long you’ve been cutting potatoes…God is not going to reveal himself in a fucking vegetable. Even if those marks weren’t made by the chef, they’re a natural occurrence and not something divine. But no, the website swears that this is a true miracle (a word overused these days) and she’s determined to sell it to the highest bidder. At this moment, she’s going for a $1,700 opening bid, and nobody’s placed one yet. Sigh. I wish I could find this at least somewhat amusing, as I’m the first to appreciate religious humor, but stuff like this gets more and more pathetic the more I see it. Thanks to Biker Dude for the link!
To many people, Jesus Christ is a beacon in the night…a lighthouse on the shores of the spirit…a bright burning flame in the heart of darkness…a candle in the wind…a gooey Lava Lamp of love…. If this is so, why are so many people in Chicago staring at his shadow? That’s right, it’s another case of “Where’s Jesus?” in which we find him projected as a shadow from a street light. Unfortunately they had to turn off the light because people were flocking around it, some of them getting into fights. But maybe that’s just God’s plan for them…?
EAST CHICAGO, ID (AP) — A town in Indiana has turned off a streetlight that drew hundreds of people to see a shadow that some say looked like Jesus Christ.
The police chief of East Chicago, Indiana, called an emergency meeting yesterday to recommend the light be turned off in the interest of public safety. Nearby residents had complained about blocked cars and visitors congregating until five a-m. Several arrests were made Friday night after a large fight broke out in the area.
People have flocked to the site since Wednesday, when a woman first claimed to see the image on the side of a tree. It’s only visible at night when the streetlight near the tree is on.
And I thought the holy underpass water stain was a stretch!
Jesus Christ! I mean…Michael Jackson! Another celebrity/holy figure appears on a piece of toast, although this one at least looks like a genuine natural burn, as opposed to the silly runaway bride toast that some dorkwad unsuccessfully tried to sell on eBay.
Biker Dude sent me this last week but I’ve been a little slow in getting it blogged. Just when we were starving for the spiritual (and physical) fulfillment that only a divinely-touched tuber can provide, another Jesus chip surfaces to cleanse our souls and provide us with wholly holy goodness!
One Valentine’s Day, her brother found a heart-shaped potato chip, but no one in the family had ever seen what emerged from a bag of Lay’s sour cream and onion potato chips a couple of weeks ago: an oval measuring roughly 11/2 inches in diameter, in which Rosalie Lawson saw the image of Jesus Christ.
“I shop at Publix at Northeast Shopping Center,” she said. The store recently had a buy-one, get-one-free deal on the chips, and she bought a couple of packages for the Memorial Day weekend.
One night, while watching television, she said, she was munching away and pulled a chip from an 11-ounce bag.
“With things in food these days,” she said, she’s careful to look at most comestibles.
“I was down there by myself” in the TV room, she said. “I said, “Jerry, you’ve got to see this potato chip.’
Wired has an article about Golden Palace today which spills the beans on their cheap tactics to earn themselves a household name: buying useless shit on eBay just to get press coverage. They didn’t buy the recent Jennifer Wilbanks toast, but they did buy the mystery envelope a while back as well as the infamous Virgin Mary cheese sandwich (including the pan it was fried in), among other nonsense items. But when you see their name on every oddball auction out there, it’s going to lose its “charm” and the public will once again look for something else to entertain itself.
Sandwich update: the guy auctioning the Jennifer Wilbanks toast on eBay ended up with a not-so-sweet deal after all. After racking up $500 in eBay fees keeping this stupid auction going, the winner of the auction is refusing to pay. Hah! Oh well. That’s what happens when you take an obvious joke too seriously, hmmm?
STILLWATER, N.J. — A man who auctioned off a slice of toast carved with his drawing of the runaway bride feels burned because the winning bidder has refused to pay for the item.
Perry Lonzello, 48, of Stillwater, used a piece of toasted Wonder Bread as the canvas for his rudimentary portrait of Georgia bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks, and posted it at the online auction site eBay on a whim.
The auction debuted with a bid of $1.11 on May 1, but that amount grew quickly after the item drew national attention. And when the auction ended Sunday, Lonzello said a California man had submitted the winning bid of $15,400.
Lonzello — who has said he planned to donate money from the auction to charity — was prepared to hand over the toast on national television Monday, only to learn that the buyer had a change of heart.
“The purchaser reneged on the sale,” Lonzello told The Star-Ledger of Newark, adding that the man was no longer returning his calls. “He said he was goofing around. I think some legal action will be coming out of this.”
Here we go again! Another joke eBay auction, this time featuring runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks’ face on a piece of toast. While it’s a funny poke at the legendary Virgin Mary cheese sandwich, when you read his comments you can see that he’s just another attention whore trying to get in as many newspapers and television interviews as possible. He’s just like the guy who was selling that mystery envelope on eBay a few months ago: “Hey, look at me! I’ve got a funny auction! Everyone pay attention! Call me, interview me, send me emails, make me famous!” I can certainly appreciate a good joke, but come on. This stuff has been done to death…it’s time to come up with something new.
And who wants to bet that a sleazy online casino (Golden Palace comes to mind) will end up buying this thing just for the advertising and exposure? I wouldn’t put it past them. In fact, I’m tempted to think that these bogus auctions are perpetrated by sleazy Bzz Agents. If a casino does win, I’ll be convinced that it’s a shill job. Let’s watch!
Once again the Virgin Mary has appeared to her flock in a deeply spiritual location: under a freeway. Obviously she needs to work on her delivery…who’s going to bother worshipping her if she only appears on tortillas, shower curtains, fences, the sides of barns, and the occasional cheese sandwich? (Answer: plenty of dorkish people with overactive imaginations.) Maybe she oughta hire a good P.R. person. How about Madonna’s? Hah! Oh, I crack myself up…
Obdulia Delgado turned toward the on ramp of the Kennedy Expressway when she saw something in the middle of traffic which made her stop.
She saw the image of the Virgin Mary in a large yellow and white stain on the concrete wall at the Fullerton Avenue entrance last week.
“I was so stunned I couldn’t move. People were honking,” said Delgado, 31. “It was a dream. I don’t even know how I got home.”
By this morning, dozens of people had gathered to see what they believe is the image of the Blessed Mother beneath the underpass.
Groups of people filtered past the site all day, some lighting candles and leaving flowers, others saying the rosary. Most snapped pictures with digital cameras and cell phones, saying the image became clearer in pictures.
To some who saw it, the image appeared as a white outline of the Holy Mother’s face wearing a shadowy cloak. To others, it looked like an ivory pawn from a game of chess.
As believers came to the spot throughout the morning, police put up temporary barricades to prevent people from driving and parking in the area.
Delgado said she had been praying to the Virgin Mary to help her pass a final in culinary school when she saw the image.
“There are many people here who believe in her. She’s here for a reason,” she said. “For me, it’s not a watermark, it’s the Virgin Mary.”