Oh, this makes my blood boil. The story in a nutshell: two idiot high school teens set a deer decoy in the middle of a road and laughed as cars swerved to avoid it. Unfortunately, one of these cars crashed, resulting in a broken neck, collarbone, arm, and leg for the driver and brain damage for the passenger. The punishment? Well, the teens will serve 60 days of jailtime…but they still get to finish the football season. The judge actually said, “I shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m going to. I see positive things about participating in football.”
Fucking moron. He knows it’s wrong, but like so many others in the world, he considers sports to be somehow sacred and will not interfere with someone’s desire to toss a ball around, no matter what crime was committed. Because, you know, football has such valuable life lessons to teach: slamming, tackling, sweating, running, tossing balls, catching balls, grunting, “killing” opponents, and plenty of ass-slapping. Your cracked spine or mushed-up brain can’t compete with that kind of life-changing wisdom!
Oh dear… Looks like a boisterous attitude and all-American arrogance wasn’t quite enough this time.
They were confident. They were hyped. They promised that the world’s game had arrived in the United States — and that the world best beware.
Instead of building on their World Cup glory of 2002, much less matching it, the Americans crashed out in the first round, just like in 1998, overmatched by superior opponents and their own expectations.
On another note, is there anything more delightful than seeing sheer disappointment descend upon the face of a sports fanatic like a dark raincloud obscuring the sweet summer sun?
Sorry, my mean streak is acting up again. 🙂
This is kind of amusing. You may recall that Budweiser mercilessly muscled its way into being the official beer of the World Cup, with a monopoly on beer sales in and around the stadiums. Well, 1,000 Dutch fans showed up for a game in traditional red trousers which bore the logo of a Dutch brewing company, and they were promptly denied entry. What to do? Why, the men removed their pants, of course! And this is how they got in and enjoyed the game. Officials said they were denied entry “to protect the rights of the official beer” and condemned this sort of publicity stunt, but I think the sight of 1,000 men in their undies waving their red trousers in the air made it an even bigger spectacle.
Wouldn’t it be great if removing your pants was mandatory for all World Cup events? It wouldn’t always be pretty, but who knows…maybe it would cut down on the fights and (I love this word) hooliganism.
Dang it! Ya get to th’ ball game an’ yer ready fer a good ol’ time watchin’ those guys battin’ an’ chasin’ them balls, an’ all ya want is to relax with a nice cold brew, right? Yuh! So ya hollar at that guy with th’ beer to come over an’ give ya a brew. Y’know, th’ kind in those fancy plastic Bud cups? An’ he says, “Okey dokey, that’ll be six bucks!” An’ you say WHAT? Six bucks fer one dang cuppa beer? A fuggin ripoff, Jack! So whatcha gonna do now? Easy! Ya gitcherself a beer belly! Naw, I know ya already got one. But I mean a Beer Belly, a fake bladder thingy you can use to sneak beer ‘n’ stuff into the game. An’ it looks ‘n’ feels just like yer REAL BEER BELLY! Dang right! Now you can be suckin’ down beer, tequila, or homebrew hooch an’ REALLY get loud ‘n’ rowdy ‘n’ be a real asshole fer DIRT CHEAP! HOOOOOO-doggy!!
(Thanks to Randy for this, via a story in the Seattle Times)
More than 400 people have been arrested in Germany for letting World Cup Fever turn them into violent, rampaging primates. It’s just more proof that sports cultists are dangerous people… These matches are resulting in arrests, killings, and (much like the Super Bowl) increased violence against women. What the hell is wrong with our species? Is this another argument for the theory that humans are violent by nature, or are some peoples’ lives simply so empty that they fill it with passion for teams and matches?
I’m so glad I’ll be visiting Germany long after this psychotic World Cup frenzy is over!
How does one pretend to love and protect the environment while doing absolutely nothing about it? Why, you classify golf courses as wetlands, then proclaim that America’s loss of wetlands has finally come to an end. Bush, ever the creative bullshitter, has done exactly this, claiming a victory for the environment. What. The. Fuck. I simply don’t know what else to say…this pretty much speaks for itself.
Those of you who voted this pathetic, worthless gimp into office should be ashamed of yourselves!
Company email we received this morning:
To: All xxxxxxxx Employees
Subject: Internet Access to the NCAA Tournament
As you may be aware, CBS is “streaming” video of the NCAA tournament over the internet. Video streaming consumes massive amounts of network and computing resources, both for those sending it, as well as those receiving it. We are preparing to block this data stream, but in the meantime we are blocking all access to CBS.com to protect xxxxxxxx business computing resources. As soon as we can block ONLY the streams, we will restore access to the general CBS.com website. We are sorry for the temporary inconvenience, and appreciate your patience.
Oh, what fun! I know what a big stinkin’ deal this thing is to sports nuts, and I can almost hear the shrieks of agony from all over the company. Let the torture commence!
For years I’ve compared sports fanatics to cultists, and the activities of a group of UW students called The Dawg Pack totally reinforces that belief. They’ve got rituals, they’ve got weird superstitions, they wear animal totems, they chant together, they worship superhuman sports gods, they
sacrifice babies dress alike… Looks like a cult to me.
Super Bowl haiku, anyone?
Twenty-one to ten
Football fans crushed, defeated
O glorious day!
Yes, this is the day Seattle has been waiting 30 years for: a chance to watch our beloved
Seagulls Seahawks play in the one and only Super Bowl. This is the day when millions of people (mostly past-their-prime aging husbands and their bored wives) will spend several hours watching big hulking mongoloids dressed in plastic body armor beat the living shit out of each other while chasing a ball around. It’s a primitive but traditional ritual, usually involving lots and lots of bad food and shitty American beer. Too bad some Seattleites will miss it due to power outages caused by yesterday’s massive windstorm, but hey…sometimes you just gotta, you know, take one for the team.
As it happens, this is the first truly sunny day we’ve had in over a month, after enduring almost constant rain and cloudiness since Christmas. It’s a good day to be out and about, enjoying the weather. But even I can recognize that this is a Big Day for Seattle, which is why I’m dedicating my entire day to it! So at 3:25 p.m., be sure and come visit this here blog for NON-STOP NON-COVERAGE of the game! That’s right, you’ll find NO scores, NO stats, NO team histories, NO fan interviews from the stands. Of course, depending on the outcome, I may have to post something tomorrow about it, but during the game you can rely on this blog to bring you…absolutely nothing.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: GO STEELERS!!!