Guess what today’s theme is? And yet I can totally see someone falling for this kind of moronic scam. It happens all the time, sadly.
from: Rose Martins
date: Dec 20, 2006 1:35 AM
subject: Beloved In Christ
Greetings in name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Mrs Rose Martins Toyo,69 years old widow & a new Christian convert,suffering from long time cancer of the blood (Leukaemia According to my doctor my condition is critical and I might not survive. Although as a christian,I beleive God and I know that I will not die,but will live to declare the glory of God. My late husband (Dr.Martins Hugo Toyo )and my only son were killed during the (ABIDJAN- BOUAKE)b Crisis some years back(take a look)
Our Lord Jesus Christ is my only comforter. I have the sum of Five million,One hundred thousand US Dollars($5.1m) The fund is presently deposited with a financial company for security reasons and all the documents concerning the fund are in the custody of my lawyer. I inherited the money from my late husband who was an industralist and international businessman.
I have prayed concerning this donation for God’s guidance and if in your heart you geniunely and faithfully desire-to use this fund for the propagation of God’s work in any form whether for charity, ministry, evangelical work or otherwise in relation to God’swork, do get in -touch with me for further arrangements with my lawyer on how you will receive my Charity donation. God bless you once again and as you receive,give and give God all the Glory.
Remain blessed in the Lord
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Rose Martins Toyo
It’s that time again! According to the news, criminal gangs in control of zillions of zombie PCs are responsible for the massive surge in spam these past few months. So I’ve updated my filters yet again, and they’re catching all kinds of new crap. They’re not perfect but they’re keeping my Gmail inbox clean! I’ve set Gmail to 1) forward to email@example.com or SpamCop,
and 2) delete the bastards. If you really want to do some good, get
yourself a SpamCop account and start sending reports to ISPs and
All of these are to be applied to the body of the email, and they’re ready to plug into the “Matches:” field in Gmail’s filters. (The last one is for the “Subject:” field only.) They they should also work with other email services, though you’ll probably have to insert them differently and remove the OR separators. And, as always, review everything these filters catch to make sure they’re only catching spam! They’re tailored to my own inbox, so there may be a few keywords in there that you’ll want to remove…but most of it is very spam-specific. They’re also categorized now, to make things easier to track, and the newest additions are marked in orange.
Pills & Porn
PHzARzMA OR “sexually explicit” OR “RAP’E” OR “RA’PE” OR “R’APE” OR medircations OR rx OR Pen1s OR hormone OR “remov(ed” OR dr@g OR dr@gs OR “intimate life” OR “products for your health” OR “one portal” OR “V-iiaggrra” OR VIxAGxRA OR “Ci-iallis” OR “Ci-ialis” OR Cialis OR Cia1is OR Valium OR “Sof-tabs” OR “soft tabs” OR “Ph aramacy” OR “Pharam acy” OR XANNAX OR C1AALIS OR VAL1UUM OR ULTRAAM OR “/1AGGRA” OR V1AGRA OR MER1D1A OR LEVITTRA OR pi11 OR “Ci@li$” OR spurm OR hoole OR orggies OR coock OR cocck OR teenn OR sllut OR Economize OR Econnomize OR VkAGRA OR PHArrwRMACY OR VIAGR* OR AMBIE* OR CIALI* OR XANA* OR RIVOTRI* OR LEVITR* OR CIPRO OR VALIU* OR Pr1ce OR AMBzzIEN OR VIAzzGRA OR VALzzIUM OR CIAzzLIS OR VALnnIUM OR VIAnnGRA
Stock Market Scams
“Short Term Target” OR “We called it!” OR “We called it yesterday” OR “Projected Price:” OR “moneyworx@” OR “We have brought you winner after winner”
“Windows XP Professional” OR “Office XP Professional” OR 0EM OR sblsoft OR “Microsoft Office Professional” OR “Opt-in Email Special Offer” OR s0ftware OR corel OR “instant download”
“www [dot]” OR “www.00” OR “allevinear.com” OR “in.geocities.com” OR “financial.com” OR “StockCharts.com” OR “investors.com” OR “finance.com” OR “voxcard.com” OR “uwriteme.info” OR “fixedhorn.com” OR “aliceinoemland.com” OR “moneyworx@” OR “lotenuo.com” OR “uol.com”
cartaovirtual OR weblove OR cartão OR Rolex OR “Pre-approved” OR degr3e OR mortagge OR mortage OR morgage OR morage OR ratess OR PAfTEK OR CAfRTIER OR ROfLEX OR OMfEGA OR BRfEITLING OR BVfLGARI
“Full of health? Then don’t click!” OR “We cure any desease!” OR “We cure any disease!” OR “found it here” OR “loan request” OR “Alguém lembrou de voce!” OR PHzARzMA OR “sexually explicit” OR “RAP’E” OR “RA’PE” OR “R’APE”
Get a load of that subject line. Not only is it coherent (usually a rare thing for spam) but it’s almost…philosophical.
from: miki siki
date: Nov 17, 2006 2:14 AM
subject: A man with a small penis is like a butterfly without wings.
Get your wings with Advanced Gain Pro Penis Enlargement Pills.
Would you like a mile-sized penis? Then try Advanced Gain Pro Penis
Advanced Gain Pro makes the impossible things possible.
It increases your penis to sizes you could never imagine before.
The subject made me laugh out loud, but the rest…. WTF??
from: Maggieto: ********
date: Nov 17, 2006 11:26 AM
subject: an older and really scary looking couple fucking
asian cutie gets cock stuffed
Redhead shemale posing
All holes sex action
sue diamond leggy blond enticing a merchant prince
For you job-hunters out there, here’s an eye-opening story about spam filters you may want to see. Basically, your résumé may vanish into a black hole if anything in the email triggers a spam filter on the other end. It makes perfect sense: with spam as bad as it is these days, more and more stuff is being caught in filters and either set aside for review (no telling when) or simply trashed. Putting something like “magna cum laude” in there is probably not a good idea…
It’s been a few years since I was job-hunting, but I remember trying to avoid this trap by sending two copies of my résumé: one in Word format, one in plain text. The text version would most likely be filtered first, if anything in there triggered the keyword filters, but the Word one may also have been caught since the document was an attachment and so many viruses travel that way. Another thing I did was put a copy of my résumé in a folder on my web server, and included the URL in my emails in case their software automatically stripped out attachments.
So what else can you do? Maybe send your résumé in PDF format as well as Word. (PDFs are probably the best way to go anyway, since the document is guaranteed to look the same on your end as on theirs.) Also, besides the text version, email the PDF/Word ones to yourself (or friends) at various email services to see if they make it though OK. This test may not be possible for corporate email addresses (like monster.com, etc.) but at least you can see what may get sniffed by using free online services. If anyone has any other clever ideas, let’s hear ’em!
Some poor soul out there got out his digital crayon and scrawled this pathetic prayer chain email to spam all his friends with. It’s got all the usual “Yay USA! Screw France!” stuff, with some other nonsense about the ACLU. And, of course, people spammed others with it, unwilling to “break the chain.” Sigh. Too bad they didn’t realize that this one’s a hoax and nobody can prove its claims. Tee hee!
Hoax or not, I’ve seen dozens of others like it. I’m not as offended by the shmaltzy content as much as the chain letter aspect. The idea that “breaking the chain” will result in a bad outcome is one of the oldest and stupidest junk-mail hoaxes ever, and it’s even more moronic in email form. It’s like those things you were handed by some kid in high school: “Pass this around! Don’t break the chain or you’ll end up like Mrs. Pitlick of Dillhole, KY who ignored this letter and was killed in her own bed during a freak accident involving a blimp and some monkeys.”
Feh. This kind of patrio-religious dildonics reminds me of how Chuck Palahniuk referred to prayer chains in one of his books: “A spiritual pyramid scheme. As if you can gang up on God. Bully him around.”
I simply cannot believe some of the shit that ends up in my spambox lately:
Date: Jul 19, 2006 10:18 AM
Subject: Poke her from her vagina to her throat
After taking Penis Enlarge Patch you will be able to reach your asshole with your dick.
[spamvertised URL snipped]
You know, the thought of reaching my asshole with my dick just isn’t turning me on for some reason. I’m gay, but not that gay.
Wow, check out that subject line.
Date: Jun 19, 2006 6:37 AM
Subject: You want to measure your penis but it is afraid of the ruler.
You seem not t0 have any problems with erections but you still dream of fuller and harder ones. Don’t say “NO” to our Soft Viagra tabs.
I gotta admit, it’s kinda funny. 🙂 Imagine some guy getting ready to measure himself with a ruler and his penis trembling and whimpering in fear. “No…don’t measure me. My measurements must remain a mystery! Stop, I beg you!! NoOooOOOoooOoOoOOoo!!!”
Regarding the now-defunct Blue Frog anti-spam service (O how we miss thee), a few people have made me aware of something new, something rising from the ashes of Blue Frog. Behold, a new anti-spam service is born: Okopipi, a modified and improved version of its predecessor. Yes! I knew someone would make this happen, all it takes is a group if coders pissed enough at spammers to make it work. It’s still under wraps and being worked on, but if they do it right, spammers won’t be able to crush it with DOS attacks the way they did before. (For a quick summary of how Blue Frog worked, see this post on Slashdot. It really was brilliant.)
Whoah, talk about pulling no punches. Check out the subject line:
From: maccainkel <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: May 26, 2006 7:35 PM
Subject: You inherited a small dick from you father and think there is no way to help it.
[snip spamvertised URL] Different penis enlargement methods damage the ce]ls inside of the very dick. With Penis Enlarge Patch this will never happen.
Jesus! As if men didn’t have enough reasons to want to break spamemrs’ kneecaps… I do like the Engrish-style text of the message, though. “Damage the cells inside of the very dick” indeed.