Saturday time-wasters

These are a few things I've had bookmarked for the blog for a while so it's time to get 'em out there. So this is why Ronald McDonald is always smiling!  God, this is funny.  Not enough guys going down on him, though...I think ol' Ronald needs someone who knows how to do it right.... Continue Reading →

The Devil’s meat

Well!  Looks like McDonald's is in the dog (god?) house with the puke-inducingly-named American Family Association.  Turns out they're an evil homo-loving company who will drag us all into hell (if their food isn't already doing the job). What did McDonald's do to cross the AFA, its president, Donald Wildmon, and -- by extension -- Jesus... Continue Reading →

Ronald McDonald: spawn of Satan!

This McDonald's commercial, featuring the first appearance of a scary-as-fuck Ronald McDonald, is currently scaring the living shit out of thousands of people on Teh Internets.  It's fascinating to see what passed for quality advertising so long ago -- if we saw something like this on T.V. today, we'd think it was a joke.  This... Continue Reading →

Would you like fries with that virus?

Seems that McDonald's cares so much about their Japanese customers that they're giving a free password-stealing trojan virus to those lucky enough to get one of their free promotional MP3 players.  Gee, now you can clog your arteries and your PC at the same time! God, I love it when McDonald's fucks up.  Almost as... Continue Reading →

Mickey gets a little fruity

Disney has been known to slap its cartoony characters on some outlandish things, but this latest is a whopper:  fresh fruit.  Normally I'd scoff...but maybe it's not such a bad idea if it gets kids to eat something healthy once in a while instead of feeding on junk.  (This is happening only in Europe for... Continue Reading →

So long, Ronald…

I just got this email from CafePress.  Looks like my "Ronald McDonald hearts your fat kid" bumpersticker is no more: Dear Shopkeeper, Thank you for using CafePress.com! In accordance with our Intellectual Property Rights Policy, Robert E. Browne on behalf of McDonald’s Corporation provided us with a notice stating that your use of McDonald’s character... Continue Reading →

Back away slowly.

"Me Mongo!  Me eat food.  Me scam Mickey D's.  Me get free food.  Me get caught, put in jail.  Me no like jail, must eat jail food.  Me not happy.  Maybe me eat you next." A 500-pound man in Seminole County, Fla., was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of scamming fast-food restaurants out of large amounts... Continue Reading →

Coming soon: McDownloads

OK...Disney is at it again, and this time they're attempting to merge digital downloads with fast food.  How in the world are they doing that, you may ask?  Well, it's like this:  they want to sell shows/cartoons/whatever to people at the time they're buying their McShit meals.  But you're only getting a piece of the... Continue Reading →

Ronald and Mario…together at last.

So McDonald's is partnering with Nintendo to add wi-fi access to their restaurants, allowing Nintendo DS owners to play online with people all over the world.  My first reaction, being a new DS geek, was "Wow, that's kinda cool!"  Then the realization hit me that this is McDonald's we're talking about.  The thought of having... Continue Reading →

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