He is, like, so risen and stuff.
He is, like, so risen and stuff.
A retailer in Singapore has committed a fatal sin: tainting religion with humor. Local Catholics have gotten their collective panties in a bunch about a line of Jesus-themed cosmetics being sold there, and of course the products have been removed from all three shops selling it. Wow, three shops…talk about an epidemic.
The products included a “Virtuous vanilla” lip balm and a “Get Tight with Christ” hand and body cream, featuring a picture of Christ flanked by two adoring women. “Why would anyone use religious figures to promote vanity products? It’s very disrespectful and distasteful,” the Straits Times newspaper quoted accountant Grace Ong, 24, as saying.
So…with sexual predator priests and a very scary Pope making a mockery of your church and destroying peoples’ lives, you actually find time to be offended by kitsch items? I never hear anyone complain about Virgin Mary nightlights or bobble-head Jesus dashboard ornaments being blasphemous, so let’s just get over ourselves and have a sense of humor, shall we?
In fact, I encourage you virginal ladies (and certain flavors of men) to buy some of this stuff. Just head on over to Amazon where they currently have several goodies in stock: lip balm, a compact mirror, a shopper tote bag, and a mini kit which contains “mirrored Jesus statuette, vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-Lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact.” Get yours today! The power of Christ compels you!
Mmmm, gurl… You lookin’ hot for Jesus.
(Thanks to Critter for sending this. 🙂
Wow, looks like James Cameron is gettin’ off his duff and filming again. This time he’s joining the Jesus-was-mortal crowd with a new documentary about the (possible) discovery of Jesus’ tomb and remains, which is a pretty hefty claim. I’m interested in seeing it not only because this kind of thing drives Christians up the wall, but I also love alternate views on not-so-concrete history. Vatican conspiracies aside, I don’t believe for one minute that anyone alive today really knows the 100% truth about what happened to Jesus. Even a non-expert like myself can see that are so many contradictory tales, so many books excluded from the bible, so many experts disagreeing on details, and so many power-hungry men (from Jesus’ time and beyond) looking to dominate human behavior via religion that it just doesn’t seem like dependably accurate history. We don’t know it all, no matter what anyone says, and that’s why I love it when people try to fill in the holes or give a different take on things.
Naturally, people are already up in arms about this documentary. A biblical scholar quoted in the story said, “I don’t think that Christians are going to buy into this. But skeptics, in general, would like to see something that pokes holes into the story that so many people hold dear.” True, skeptics do love making blind followers squirm, but I think a lot of people just like seeing alternate opinions and research. This documentary may eventually be proven to be total bunk (it hasn’t aired yet), but at this point it sounds like they did a little homework on the subject. I guess we’ll find out soon enough!
David Byrne is not only one of my favorite singer/songwriters, but I also think he’s a hell of an interesting person with some insightful things to say. It’s been a while since I’ve read his blog, which is usually filled with his observations on music and the world he sees during his travels, but on August 2 he posted a review of the film “Jesus Camp” which will send chills up your spine. It’s a documentary about a very real Jesus Camp which basically programs kids into being obedient little ultra-right-wing monsters for Christ. “Right wing political agendas and slogans are mixed with born again rituals that end with most of the kids in tears.” Byrne draws some spooky parallels in his review, likening this sort of indoctrination to the kind of nutball religious brainwashing that creates people who like to blow stuff up:
There were some perfect sound bites — at one point Pastor Fischer instructs the little ones that they should be willing to die for Christ, and the little ones obediently agree. She may even use the word martyr, which has a shocking echo in the Middle East. I can see future suicide bombers for Jesus — the next step will be learning to fly planes into buildings. Of course, the grownups would say, “Oh no, we’re not like them” — but they admit that the principal difference is simply that “We’re right.”
In another scene a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush, with his trademark smirking smile, is brought out and the children are urged to identify — many of the little ones come forward and reverently touch his cardboard hands.
OK, I just may have to see this one. I love scary movies.
Matt Yanos dug up something yesterday which really made my morning. Looks like the Billboard Liberation Front (or someone similar) has hijacked a Texas billboard and turned it into a holy beer commercial featuring Jesus admiring a tall, cool Bud. It’s quite good, and apparently it’s been up for a week and nobody’s bothered to take it down yet. Hmmm…what does that tell us, besides the fact that Jesus likes crappy American beer?
While Googling for something the other day, I came across a website selling a painting of Jesus. Not so strange, right? Well, this Jesus is unlike any others I’ve seen before. Not only is he brandishing his shepherd’s staff like he’s about to clobber you with it, but he sorta looks like a muscular American male model…it’s a little disturbing. I almost expect to see this guy in GQ or Cargo magazine sporting Gucci shoes and an iPod. (Fortunately, I don’t read that crap. 🙂
The artist has a long rambling story on her website about this painting and how it came to be, along with prices starting at $450…but I think we all know who she was really thinking about when she first picked up that brush: Mel Gibson.
Adam Locking sent me this piece of dipshittery last month and I totally forgot to blog it: the Jesus XBOX 360. Yes, some idiot found a smudge on his XBOX box and figured it looked enough like Jesus (it doesn’t) to warrant an auction on eBay. Predictably, the auction page is filled with all kinds of 15-minutes-of-fame stuff, like “I was on this radio show today!” and “I was interviewed for the local news!” He’s even got a MySpace account for the thing (he claims he didn’t create the account…yeah, right). Yawn. Next!
As annoying as it is, it’s somewhat interesting to see how desperate some people are for attention. They find any excuse to auction some oddball thing on eBay, then sit back and wait for the interviews, articles, bids from Golden Palace Casino, and other fleeting moments of “fame.” After that? Well, they kinda go away, only to be replaced by the next dorkwad with a fake picture of Jesus/Mary/Buddha/Vishnu/whatever. Most annoying of all is that this guy made $3,300 off this crap. Come on, people…get a life.
Ah, another fun Halloween night! Critter and I dressed up and went out to The Cuff for the costume contest, and also to get trashed and dance. His costume was Catholic Schoolgirl Out Late, and after a lot of though, I decided to be Jesus Christ. I didn’t take a lot of photos but I did get some good ones, which are posted in my Halloween gallery.
I wanted to have some sort of prop, but Jesus didn’t really have props…and a shepherd’s staff was too Moses-like. Critter suggested some nail-holes in my hands, which was a great idea. I got some latex bullet holes and glued them on with spirit gum, then applied some blood makeup to make ’em look nice & juicy. They looked pretty realistic… A final touch was to wear one of my “The Pope Scares Me” buttons. Critter did his own makeup and was decked out in green fishnets, a stuffed bra, fancy lashes, glow-in-the-dark nail polish, and a wig with wires in the pigtails, which made for a hell of an outfit. Fun! And scary. 🙂 So we ate some baked goods (use your imagination) and headed for the bar, and from there it was an evening of chatting with friends, drinking, dancing (picture Jesus and a Catholic schoolgirl writhing sluttily on the dancefloor), and just being dorks in general. Funny, I think I have more fun with Halloween now than I ever did as a kid.
To many people, Jesus Christ is a beacon in the night…a lighthouse on the shores of the spirit…a bright burning flame in the heart of darkness…a candle in the wind…a gooey Lava Lamp of love…. If this is so, why are so many people in Chicago staring at his shadow? That’s right, it’s another case of “Where’s Jesus?” in which we find him projected as a shadow from a street light. Unfortunately they had to turn off the light because people were flocking around it, some of them getting into fights. But maybe that’s just God’s plan for them…?
EAST CHICAGO, ID (AP) — A town in Indiana has turned off a streetlight that drew hundreds of people to see a shadow that some say looked like Jesus Christ.
The police chief of East Chicago, Indiana, called an emergency meeting yesterday to recommend the light be turned off in the interest of public safety. Nearby residents had complained about blocked cars and visitors congregating until five a-m. Several arrests were made Friday night after a large fight broke out in the area.
People have flocked to the site since Wednesday, when a woman first claimed to see the image on the side of a tree. It’s only visible at night when the streetlight near the tree is on.
And I thought the holy underpass water stain was a stretch!