This is another one of those stories I saved as a draft nearly two years ago and never got around to posting. But since Planned Parenthood is such a hot news topic these days, this seems like a good time to share!
This is akin to all those Facebook posts saying “Click LIKE on this picture to send a prayer for the [insert city name here] shooting victims!” Clicking a Facebook button hasn’t done anything to help anyone, ever. If you want to help, send money or volunteer. Same goes for abortion: if you feel so strongly about it, don’t download an app that “prays” for you. You’re actually doing double nothing there — it’s the ultimate in feelgood non-action. Don’t be so gullible/lazy.
Anti-Abortion Phone App Lets You Pray to Accomplish Absolutely Nothing
One of the sad byproducts of the media conspiracy to ignore this week’s pro-life conference in Washington was that we almost missed this new iPhone app for baby-savin’. If only we’d seen it on Wednesday, we could’ve told you how much it sucked sooner.
I’ll admit, the peer pressure was killing me. What does it do, you ask? What doesn’t it do! “Download the Online for Life App to receive real-time alerts on women seeking abortions in your area. Invite your friends to join you in prayer and share the good news when a woman chooses life.” Sounds Big Brother creepy, no? Actually, as my wife and I learned, it doesn’t do a lot.
Predictably, the above story was the target of much snark. Here’s my favorite exchange:
This is a lengthy post but it pretty much explains why I’m dumping my iPhone for an Android very soon. I can’t wait… It’s still tough to beat the iPad for reading/surfing, but I’m done with the fruit phones. Got my eye on the Moto X at the moment.
“Android is better” – from Twitter designer +Paul Stamatiou.
An analysis that will validate your Android love: http://bit.ly/1czILOT
Finally. Finally someone of such stature in the tech community has produced such a comprehensive guide to what makes Android so special. As an Android owner since the original Motorola Droid and current owner of a Galaxy S4, I’ve been saying these things for quite some time. From the themes of “Google works better on Android” and “Apple locks you down,” Paul’s list is extensive, validating, and heartfelt. Thank you for making this Paul!
People like this are so goddamn irritating. They’re the kind of twats who insist on staring into their bright little screens in the movie theater. Yes, I do carry my iPhone everywhere and check my “stuff” now and then. But I’m not hanging on every Facebook update, every tweet, every new email. I enjoy reading it, but I also know how to engage in the real world, too!
I feel sorta sad for people like this, actually. What kind of empty life do you have if your PHONE becomes your soul mate? But the anger returns when I think about the way he ignores his wife and family to play Angry Birds and fantasize about how much more complete his life would be if only he had an iPad. Your gadgets should not come before your family. What a disgusting person.
Wilson, the smartphone user in Arkansas, said there are moments when he feels as though he disappears into the smartphone’s tiny screen, particularly when he’s just sitting around the house watching TV with his wife.
“I’ll be on my phone looking at Twitter and Facebook and playing ‘Angry Birds’ and I should be showing her affection and stuff like that. Sometimes I forget to do that,” he said.
“I’m just out of touch with reality sometimes because of my phone — I can just look at all the apps and stuff like that and just dream about the iPad and whatever — wishing my screen was bigger — and without realizing it, well, I haven’t said anything to my wife for an hour. It’s not that great.”
Wilson said he’s happy to take his iPhone everywhere.
At Arkansas Tech University, where he’s a student, one sociology professor does not allow phones in his classroom, Wilson said. But instead of leaving his phone at home — one possible way to abide by this rule — Wilson goes through extra preparations to keep it at his side.
“When I go into that class, I put it into airplane mode and silent [mode] and I turn it off,” he said.
He even uses the phone during church services.
Once, when asked to read a scripture in front of the congregation at the West Side Church of Christ, Wilson used a Bible app on his iPhone.
So imagine you’re a huge Apple fan. You live and breathe and worship Apple products, and Steve Jobs is damn near God in your book. Trouble is, you’re having trouble finding a mate who can tolerate your intense, righteous smugness. Nobody can stand to date or even attempt to “sensually interface with your various ports” because all you talk about is Apple, Macs, Steve Jobs, iPhone, Apple, iPod, iTunes, apps, Macbooks, and more goddamn Apple. What to do? How to get laid, much less have an actual relationship with a human, and one who loves Apple as much as you besides?
Introducing the Apple fan dating service. They’ll hook you up! Soon you and your smug mate will be smugly typing on your dual Macbooks together, glancing across the room at each other lovingly in between posts on your Mobile Me blogs about how awesome Apple products are. Who cares if the concentrated levels of smugness might grow so toxic that its very weight could rip a hole in space and suck the entire universe through a smug black hole — a smughole, if you will?
P.S.: I own both an iPhone and an iPod touch. I love them to death. I just know where to draw the line, mmmkay?
The launch of the iPhone is imminent, and predictably the media is completely saturated with coverage, as bad (or worse) than the crap we endure during the Super Bowl or Presidential elections. (My apologies for contributing to the cacophony!) I just did a Google News search on the topic and it returned 11,403 results, which is bound to grow exponentially for weeks to come, and of course my favorite tech blogs are overrun with the topic as well — Gizmodo has 763 posts about it at the moment, and Engadget won’t tell you how many stories it has but you can bet it’s a ton. They’re both carrying a lot of the same stories, though I have to hand it to Engadget for the post titled “First iPhone camper smelled at Apple’s 5th Ave store.” Heh. And as expected, people are obediently lining up three days in advance so they can be the first to own one. I sure hope this purchase brings spiritual and emotional fulfillment to their lives.
Sigh. Am I crazy, or does this seem like the latest in a long list of Big Distractions our nation is obsessed with (i.e., Paris Hilton)? How much “real” news is being obscured or buried by the iPhone tsunami? I simply can’t wait until this crap is over and people regain control of themselves. Neither can John Dvorak, who is ripping the media a new asshole today (“Hitler got less coverage when he invaded Poland”). But the iPhone will be endlessly yakked about for months, especially by frothy-mouthed Apple cultists analyzing it in infinite detail, proclaiming it the greatest invention in history — humankind’s topmost achievement. It’s no coincidence this thing has been dubbed the “Jesus Phone.” Non-cultists will worship it too, but not with the undying devotion of the Apple crowd. Gag me. (I do think it’s a cult, just like rabid sports fans are cultists. Some don’t agree, but it sure feels culty.)
So…do I want one? Well, I sorta did back in the beginning because it’s gorgeous and a smartphone has been on my wish list for quite some time. And I certainly understand gadget-lust, make no mistake about that. But the more I learned about it, the less I was impressed: it’s too pricey, the AT&T terms are too restrictive, the battery isn’t user-replaceable, it’s lacking in some great features that other smartphones have, blah-blah-blah. No thanks, I’ll go the heretic route and sit this one out. (It won’t stop me from playing with one if I get the chance, though…)