Shit, I can’t wait for them to start doing this on Seattle’s buses. There’s only so much ass-pit-crotch stank we can handle before it becomes a public health threat. WASH YOURSELF, HIPSTER DOUCHEBAGS.
Earlier this month, an American was removed from a flight operated by Canadian airline Jazz Air because of his “brutal” body odor. Apparently the flight crew tried to find a way to separate him from the other passengers, but eventually admitted defeat and asked him to leave. He flew out the next day. A spokeswoman for the airline told CNN that it doesn’t have an official policy about body odor.
Another Earth Day has come and gone with little fanfare (or planet-saving, for that matter), but it did result in some fantastically stupid comments from celebrities. The most notorious ones come from Cheryl Crow:
“Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.” Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins “represent the height of wastefulness”. She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a “dining sleeve”. The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve” after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.
It’s no wonder that rational people don’t take these environmentalist celebrities seriously. Does she honestly believe that using less toilet paper and fewer paper napkins will have an effect on melting glaciers, polluted oceans, toxic air, nuclear waste, or overcrowding in our cities? What about those volcanoes that spew tons of ozone-depleting gases into the air, or the zillions of backyard swimming pools that waste countless tons of fresh water per year? Are those linked to the way we wipe our various orifices? Jesus. Not to mention that she’s traveling on this Stop Global Warming tour via gas-guzzling buses. Big surprise there. I imagine those buses are littered with detatchable “dining sleeves” smeared with wheat grass and lipstick.
I’m so tired of these celebrities who seem willing to do something meaningful but never actually do anything. Personally I don’t think the planet can be “saved” (or needs to be, for that matter), and it’s arrogant to think that humans can force such changes on the planet anyway. We’re probably having a negative impact to some degree, but the planet is going through its own cycles and has been through far worse than us. We’re the ones who need saving before we kill ourselves off, not the Earth. (This is a non-expert opinion, but it’s just as valid as anything coming from celebrities riding around in tour buses.)