Documenting this woman’s new spawn has become something of a tradition here at Quantum Moronics. First in 2004 (last paragraph), again in 2005, once more in 2007, and now here we are again. I must have missed spawn #18 and #19, perhaps a subconscious effort to not have to write about this crazy, irresponsible bitch and her disgusting horny husband again. But of course now I have to.
I bet you could drive this through her gaping, withered twatflaps.
The birth of a 20th baby from one set of parents is bound to raise some eyebrows — or drop some jaws and spur some expressions of horror. Add to the total number of children these tidbits: Mom is 45; the last Duggar addition — born in December 2009, three months early and at 1 pound, 6 ounces — began life in a neonatal intensive care unit; and the size of the family and its continued growth are the basis for a reality show.
On Tuesday, tweets included the unkind variety — “sick,” “stupid” and “out of control” — as well as the what-did-they-ever-do-to-you variety — “You are not impacted by them procreating.” And then there was the innocuous: “Have they not run out of names starting with J?” The kids are: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie.
The other day I was reading a news story on CNN.com and noticed a headline in the sidebar and gasped. It said, “Couple welcomes 17th child — and wants more“. No. Fucking. Way. When I saw “Arkansas” and “17th child” in the same sentence, I suddenly knew who the story was about. Meet the Duggar family (a.k.a. The Arkansas Baby Factory™), which has been pumping out a child every nine months for almost two decades, and there’s no end in sight. Their 17th unit just rolled out, and like all the ones produced before it, its name begins with the letter “J”. 17 kids, all with the same first initial. Isn’t that so cute you want to puke your fucking guts out? God, this family irritates me without even trying!
I first blogged about them in 2004 (last paragraph) and again in 2005, and it’s not any less astonishing today. (Perhaps it’s a new tradition?) It’s just so sad… So many kids need adoption, but no…Mrs. Broodmare feels compelled to keep filling her house with more J-spawn. Meanwhile, the
sperm donor father (unsurprisingly named Jim Bob) arrogantly keeps her knocked up so she can’t have a life outside of the house. Does she even go into labor these days, or does the baby just plop out wherever she happens to be standing? Maybe she ought to look into cloning so she can replicate a dozen babies at once. Why stop at one?
Another thing that struck me about all this: since they consider each child a “blessing from God” rather than the product of their incessant rutting, they are sure to be fiercely anti-abortion. Yet they refuse to save any children from that fate because they’re too busy dropping more cracker offspring into this increasingly shitty world. Yeah, some blessing. Welcome to Earth, little J-whatever. Here’s your number…please step aside and make room for the next.
O.my.god. I can’t believe I’m seeing this… In April 2004 I blogged about a woman in Little Rock who was pregnant with her 15th spawn (see the last paragraph) and was being honored for her “achievement.” Well, perhaps not surprisingly, she’s back. Michelle Duggar has just pumped out her 16th unit and is looking to have even more. She is truly a baby factory in the most literal sense.
Jim Bob Duggar, 40, said he and Michelle, 39, want more children.
“We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them,” he said.
Um, the Lord didn’t have anything to do with it. You just can’t keep your pants up, that’s all.
I can only echo what I said two years ago: how sad that this woman’s only goal in life is to remain barefoot and pregnant. And, of course, they’re sticking with the whole “J” theme, naming this one Johannah. Lovely. (I also love the fact that her hubby’s name is Jim Bob. Hyuk-hyuk!)