I’m so goddamned sick of this hideous little troll and her stupid tongue-wagging, crosseyed face. That month she spent doing her “signature look” has forever cemented her on my list of Most Cringe-Inducing Celebrities Ever. Yes, yes, we get it: you’re doing your sexual awakening thing and you want the world to know that your nether regions are all puffed up and whatnot, but seriously – you’re trying waaayyyyyy too hard to be wild and crazy (and relevant). Just do your music or whatever the hell it is you’re famous for and stop acting like a fucking baboon on LSD, mmmkay?
16 Horses That Look Like Miley Cyrus
Seattle police: Masturbating driver targeted Metro passengers
A Seattle driver accused of masturbating behind the wheel while gawking at a woman on a passing Metro bus has been charged with indecent exposure.
King County prosecutors contend Jeffrey Robertson exposed himself to the woman shortly before 7 a.m. on Aug. 21 while stuck in traffic in downtown Seattle. Robertson, 43, has been charged with felony indecent exposure.
Speaking with police, the woman claimed the incident was actually the third time Robertson had exposed himself to her in recent months. According to charging papers, the woman said Robertson appeared to slow his car each time to pull alongside the bus near the intersection of 9th Avenue and Stewart Street.
Concerned she was somehow being targeting by strange man, the woman called 911 and reported the black Volvo station wagon’s license plate number. According to charging papers, the woman provided photos and video showing Robertson in the act.
Lordy. Seattle has its share of crazies year-round, but there’s something about the approaching winter that really brings them out of the woodwork. And to think this creepo may have been stalking the same passenger in his car day after day… Yecchhh.
Texas Store Owner Shoots and Kills Man Stealing Beer
Store owner Rodney James Duve, 52, of Corpus Christi, Texas was arrested Saturday night after shooting and killing an unidentified 39-year-old man who attempted to leave his store without paying for a 12-pack of beer.
Well, that’s life in America’s Colon for ya: everyone’s packin’ heat and willin’ to blow away every last person who done them harm, great or small. Oh, and them faggots got no right to live. Oh yeah, and them wimmin better just let us men git up in there and take control of them lady parts ’cause wimmin got no bizness makin’ decisions about their own body stuff.
Fuck, I hate Texas.
Iowa Grants Gun Permits To The Blind
DES MOINES, Iowa — Here’s some news that has law enforcement officials and lawmakers scratching their heads:
Iowa is granting permits to acquire or carry guns in public to people who are legally or completely blind.
No one questions the legality of the permits. State law does not allow sheriffs to deny an Iowan the right to carry a weapon based on physical ability.
The quandary centers squarely on public safety. Advocates for the disabled and Iowa law enforcement officers disagree over whether it’s a good idea for visually disabled Iowans to have weapons.
Uhhhh… Hmm. Okay. This is a twist on America’s gun fetish that I wasn’t expecting. But it totally makes sense, right? Why deprive the blind their right to wave a gun around, squeezing shot after shot, hoping to at least come close to hitting the right person? ‘MURICA!
(Personally, I would have gone with pepper spray.)
Rachel Maddow Takes Us Through 50 Years Of Mass Shootings. The Trend She Uncovers Is Devastating.
The shooting in Navy Yard, Washington D.C., on Sept. 17 that took the lives of 12 and injured eight others was both tragic and terrifying. Unfortunately, mass shootings like this one have also become an all-to-familiar way of American life. Watch Rachel Maddow explain why it hasn’t always been that way and uncover an alarming trend at 5:20.
Seems like shooting people, getting shot, and gawking at those involved is America’s new favorite pastime. What a sad state we are in. We have far surpassed what the Second Amendment intended — we’ve allowed gun-crazed assholes to control the situation for far too long (in the name of “freedom” and “patriotism”, naturally) and it’s time to do something!
A New Trend For Parents: Placenta Art Prints
With a little advance planning, parents can have a lifelong memento of their child’s birth (aside from their child, of course): A print made from the placenta. The placenta prints are made by taking the placenta after birth and placing it, along with the umbilical cord, on acid-free paper.
What… Why… How……uhhhh. OK, here’s the question: why are parents getting SO CRAZY about their babies? Why are babies such a weird cult? I don’t get it. I want to know what has shifted in our culture the past decade or so that has led parents to…this. Yeah, I don’t want kids and I’ll never have them, but I simply can’t imagine what goes through the minds of these parents who actually think that rubbing a bit of bloody placenta all over a piece of paper is actually something anyone would ever want. And why stop there? Why not smear your child’s first poop all over your hands and make some special, sentimental handprints? Is that any less crazy? I’ll bet there’s even some company you can pay to help you do that.
These mass shootings are so commonplace and our country now, they really do seem to have a fill-in-the-blanks script for them on the news. What a fucked-up country we have.
Who greenlights this kind of peepeecaca? I’m absolutely stunned that this even exists, though I shouldn’t be. It sounds sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. And yet…I kind of want to watch some of it. You know, to fully justify my outrage. 🙂
Media Elite Making Twitter Accounts for Children
Harper Estelle Wolfeld-Gosk has 6,282 Twitter followers. She’s 2 weeks old.
Can we as a species please stop turning children into little cult objects already? The world does not need to fawn over your child. In fact, your kid hasn’t even earned the right to be popular or even interesting yet — this is an obvious ploy to boost your own ego. Take this crap offline and let your kid have a childhood with some privacy, geez. Have a little dignity.
If Hospital Names Its ER After Abercrombie & Fitch, Will Patient Gowns Come In XL Sizes?
Ohio State University is reportedly gearing up to name its new emergency department after Abercrombie & Fitch, as a nod to the $10 million the Ohio-based company donated to the medical center in recent years. We can’t help but imagine half-clothed doctors with rippling muscles, and artfully ripped denim hospital gowns with a surfeit of cargo pockets (the better to carry your IV bag in?) — but not in XL or XXL sizes for women, natch.
How sad it is that hospitals have to take money from giant corporations, resulting in stupid shit like this.