Ya gotta love it when straight bigots try to play the victim card.  It’s so cute how righteously indignant they are.  They actually think that by granting some people rights that have long been denied, it somehow diminishes the rights of everyone who already has them.  Especially straight white people — somehow they’re the most offended by anything like that, as if they haven’t had all the goddamn rights in the world for centuries.  These people must be staggeringly bored.

These ones in particular think they’re doing something suuuuper clever and counterculture: a “straight pride” parade.  Oh, that’ll give those gay queer faggots something to think about!  Well, something to laugh about is more like it…

It’s LGBT pride month, but three guys in Boston want a permit for a ‘Straight Pride’ parade

Pride Month kicks off in Boston on Tuesday with a lights event, a paint night — and preparations for a possible “Straight Pride Parade” this summer.  The event to celebrate heterosexuality in one of the nation’s most gay-friendly cities is meant to poke fun at the “identity politics” of the political left, organizer Mark Sahady wrote in a Facebook comment.

These are the same fuckwits who think there should be a “white pride month” because, you know, white people don’t get any attention these days and they’re sooooo persecuted and stuff.  Or those other fuckwits who get mortally upset when someone says “Happy Holidays!”, as if by doing so you’re destroying their entire religion.  It’s fucking stupid.  And these guys know it’s stupid to want a straight pride parade, but they think these shenanigans are helping to make some deeper point, when all it really does is reveal just what sad, insecure children they are.  Here’s how one of the organizers explains it:

“For them [gays] everything is based upon identity and whether or not one is categorized as a victim or an oppressor,” Sahady wrote on Facebook. “If you get victim status then you are entitled to celebrate yourself and expect those with oppressor status to defer to your feelings.”

Answer me this, asshole:  have you ever been teased or beaten up for being straight?  Been denied a job for being straight?  Fired from your job for being straight?  Kicked out of your parents’ house for being straight?  Ejected from your church for being straight?  Jailed in certain countries for being straight?  Denied marriage for being straight?  Denied adopting a child for being straight?  Tortured and executed for being straight?  Denied the right to visit your opposite-sex partner in the E.R.?  Been forced into conversion camps to cure your heterosexuality?  Committed suicide after years of being told you’re worthless for being straight?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

OK, look.  Pride parades were borne of a need to celebrate the right to live and exist without persecution.  So instead of pouting like a spoiled toddler for not having your own “straight pride” movement, maybe just be thankful that you don’t need one.