Let God do that Googlin’ for ya

The other day I got another instant message from God (I think he’s bored) telling me about these new religion-based search engines.  They’re aimed at self-deluded people who somehow can’t get enough censorship in their lives, and these new search engines really do the trick.

Some Jews, Muslims and Christians are abandoning Yahoo and Google and turning to search engines with results that meet their religious standards.

Shea Houdmann runs SeekFind, a Colorado Springs-based Christian search engine that only returns results from websites that are consistent with the Bible. He says SeekFind is designed “to promote what we believe to be biblical truth” and excludes sites that don’t meet that standard.

Houdmann says a search on his site would not turn up pornography. If you search “gay marriage,” you would get results that argue against gay marriage. And if you type in “Democratic Party,” your first search result is a site on Marxism.

But SeekFind isn’t the only search engine carving a niche market among religious Internet users.  There is also Jewogle for Jews and I’mHalal, a Muslim search engine that started in the Netherlands.

via NPR

Narrow your search and your mind at the same time!  Wow, what a bargain!  This makes it much easier for these people to avoid being offended by other opinions and ideas, which is pretty much the way organized religion likes it.  When I asked God about that part during our IM chat, he got a little testy — he hastily typed something about people “exercising their free will to be told what to do” before closing the chat and logging off.

Naturally the first thing I did was try SeekFind myself.  The site boldly displays the Bible quote “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find.”  But what I found was that searching on certain things (non-sexual in nature) won’t turn up any related results at all.  So you can seek all you want, but you may not actually find anything because you’re CENSORING YOURSELF.

Of course, I can respect religious peoples’ wish to avoid porn and stuff like that (especially since it can show up in even the most innocent of searches), but come on — most search engines already have options for filtering that stuff.

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