So imagine you’re a huge Apple fan. You live and breathe and worship Apple products, and Steve Jobs is damn near God in your book. Trouble is, you’re having trouble finding a mate who can tolerate your intense, righteous smugness. Nobody can stand to date or even attempt to “sensually interface with your various ports” because all you talk about is Apple, Macs, Steve Jobs, iPhone, Apple, iPod, iTunes, apps, Macbooks, and more goddamn Apple. What to do? How to get laid, much less have an actual relationship with a human, and one who loves Apple as much as you besides?
Introducing the Apple fan dating service. They’ll hook you up! Soon you and your smug mate will be smugly typing on your dual Macbooks together, glancing across the room at each other lovingly in between posts on your Mobile Me blogs about how awesome Apple products are. Who cares if the concentrated levels of smugness might grow so toxic that its very weight could rip a hole in space and suck the entire universe through a smug black hole — a smughole, if you will?
P.S.: I own both an iPhone and an iPod touch. I love them to death. I just know where to draw the line, mmmkay?