In other news of the mind-bogglingly absurd, Miley Cyrus (a.k.a. Hannah Montana, Disney’s latest mass-marketed child entertainment product) is going to write her goddamn memoirs. Her MEMOIRS! She’s only 15 years old. What “life experiences” can she possibly write about? Her fame? Yawn. Her daddy’s ex-fame? Double-wide yawn. Following your dreams? Gimme a break. Does “following your dreams” mean being owned by a pimp with mouse ears? That sounds more like something that happens when your daddy, wallowing in the aftermath of his own short-lived success as country music’s laughingstock, sells his child to an evil corporation so that someone in the family can have a career. But if she says she’s following her dreams, whatever. Have a nice shelf life.
Critter really nailed it when he was telling me about this: “She’s gonna have a whole chapter about that really difficult time between the ages of 8 and 9.”