Last night we attempted to watch the movie “Superbad” because we keep hearing how awesomely funny it is. It sounded like another movie about teens trying desperately to get laid, but after seeing how well it’s rated on Rotten Tomatoes, we had to give it a shot. Even Roger Ebert gave it 4 stars, and I usually agree with him.
Surprise: it’s another movie about teens trying desperately to get laid. And, as usual, one of the two main characters is so obsessed with it that he practically vomits sex-talk every time he opens his mouth. Here’s a quote: “Dude, I so gotta stick my dick in her. I need major vag tonight or I’m gonna explode. I swear the next time I see her she’s gonna be chokin’ on my dick till she pukes.” OK, that wasn’t a direct quote, but if you’ve seen the movie you know that it’s not far off the mark. Yeah, we get it already: you’re a horny high school senior. Say something else, already.
Why is this so entertaining to people? I know he’s supposed to be a horndog because that’s his “thing”, but it seems that a lot of Hollywood movies about horny teenagers are littered with this type of crude asshole character. Maybe if I was a straight guy I’d find it funny…maybe it would take me back to my horned-up teenage years when every set of boobs I saw gave me a boner. But no, I wasn’t into “the vag” at all, and I can honestly say that while I eyeballed more than a few guys around me, I wasn’t nearly the sex-starved pig that this guy is. I knew plenty of straight guys who talked nonstop about getting laid, but these characters (in this film and others) take it to such an unrealistic level that it drowns out anything actually entertaining that might be happening in the movie. I’m not a movie-prude by any means, but this stuff was really a turnoff. (The only thing I found humorous was the pig’s flashback about having an obsession with drawing penises when he was a kid.)
So after about 30 minutes of this crap, we turned it off, unimpressed. I’ll read about it online if I wanna know the outcome of the movie, but it’s probably something predictable like 1) one or both get laid, 2) the pig finds love and isn’t such a pig anymore, 3) the pig ends up being gay. (Hmmm, I just realized that we were watching the Unrated Extended Edition. Maybe that’s why it was so overdone. Should we try to get the “regular” version and give it another shot? Does it honestly get any better? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?