I believe…in lameness!

What’s in Jesus’ MP3 collection?  I think 95% of it would be Christian Rock, but that stuff is so lame it’s really not worth paying for, so he’d probably just snarf it via BitTorrent or something.  The other 5% would likely be Scandinavian death metal.  But I digress.

The biggest question is: what would Jesus play his collection of pirated music on?  Surely not an iPod, because Jesus doesn’t want anything to do with cults.  The obvious safe choice for the Messiah would be the MP3 Cross!  And as a good Christian, what better way for you do to your sheeplike duty than to own one yourself?  You may not be Jesus, but now you can shove your beliefs in everyone’s face and look like a complete tool with minimum effort!  DA LORD RAWKS, YO!!

I kinda think it would look more dramatic if it was covered in blood or something, but that’s just me.  Or maybe if it came with a shroudlike carrying tote, wouldn’t that be cool?

0 thoughts on “I believe…in lameness!

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  1. What better way to ward off evil spirits with a holy crucifix and terrible music?
    I’m sure the Benedictine Monks never envisioned this…


  2. If you filled it up with Satanic music, like say… oh I dunno…. Metallica or something…. would you be a blasphemer? Or would the cross make it OK? Like holy water or something… a holy MP3 player!


  3. I really don’t know where to begin…
    First, it’s a cheap mp3 player with a large capacity and a crappy interface.
    Second, it’s been mushed into the shape of a cross as a marketing strategy. The Chineese company that makes them is probably motivated by nothing more than good ol’ profit. I won’t start thinking about moneychangers in the temple until this becomes a fundraiser for youth groups everywhere.
    There are a couple of useful links in the discussion on that engadget page. All it really is is a poorly made, dispassionately designed gewgaw. I really don’t think those militant Chinese Christians are pushing this on America. It’s not really much to get worked up over.
    On a more personal note Mr. Barry, is wearing a large and silly cross-shaped object the same as shoving beliefs in faces? Does that reflect bad experiences with individual Chrisians, or with the “Christian” social/political structure in general?


  4. I wonder what it would be like today if Jesus were instead simply impaled on a stick? People would be wearing sticks on a chain and shoving sticks in the air to ward off evil and actors would recreate the scene in large dramatic masses were a person playing Jesus would get a stick shoved up…
    Lordy, I’m in a bad mood today!


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