Friday quickies

  • This Sunday before church (for those of you who still go), be sure and use this zippy Jesus Pan.  Christ will make a personal appearance and bless your breakfast.  Talk about holy hotcakes!  Thanks to Amy for this one.
  • There’s an interesting article in a local Seattle paper about Starbucks’ aggressive expansion strategies.  Yes, they’re still trying to put 3-4 shops on each block, and they’re finding that people love them because essentially they’re too fuckin’ lazy to walk an extra block.  The world is not enough!  What this story doesn’t mention is Starbucks’ success with “cluster-bombing” neighborhoods to kill the competition, something for which they were sued yesterday.  (Personally I don’t like their burned-tasting coffee much, but their anti-competition tactics are pretty sleazy.)
  • Ever seen a pelican swallow a pigeon whole?  These folks did, and the trauma that it probably caused to the nearby kids is priceless.  Am I evil for chuckling at the weird nightmares those kids will likely have?  (Thanks to my brother for sending this.)
  • What’s the latest trend amongst uptight, control-freak parents?  Why, it’s infant psychotherapy of course! How did anyone EVER survive infancy all these zillions of years without psychotherapists rootin’ around in their soft little skulls, pretending to find and fix problems for gullible parents?  Christ on a cracker, what’s next?  I’ll say it again:  leave these children alone, for fuck’s sake! (I’ll make an exception for those present for the pigeon-swallowing incident.)
  • Thanks to a stupid election law here in Washington, 1,100 low-income voters won’t be eligible to vote because ther registration forms were sent (by volunteers) via UPS rather than USPS.  I’m no expert on election laws, but why is it that USPS is the only acceptable method of delivery for ballots?  These were postmarked by UPS the day before the deadline, and yet they’re not being counted because they weren’t sent via USPS.  What’s the diff?  Apparently it’s the law, but I call bullshit!

0 thoughts on “Friday quickies

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  1. “The monkey’s killing a duck!!’
    Errrr…. I mean pelican. That’s fuckin’ hilarious! I wonder who the parents are going to try to sue?
    “JJJJEEEEERRRRIIIIII BLLLLLAAAAANNNNKKKK”

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