Hot on the heels of the grotesque Bratz Dollz and eager to exploit every little girl’s desire to be a tarted-up little whorelet, the world is now being subjected to the stomach-churching stench of Pussycat Dolls dolls.  I mean, they’re dolls of the Pussycat Dolls — you know, the internationally-famous slutgroup.  They pump and grind their hips and fondle themselves for the camera while lipsyching deep, probing lyrics like “Dontcha wish your gir-frend was hot like me” and “You know how I feel / Winter’s running free / You know how I feel / Bouncing on the tree.”  Classic stuff, to be sure.  And now your child can own these snatchtacular characters in doll form!  Perfect role models for tots everywhere.  Dontcha wish yer daughter was skanky like dat!  Dontcha??

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  1. The thing that bothers me the most about that song is the grammar. It’s in the subjunctive. It’s like poison to my ears ever time I hear “was.”
    Don’t you wish your girlfriend WERE hot like me?
    If I WERE a rich girl man…
    What if God WERE one of us?
    There’s no way they don’t employ people to edit the lyrics, which means these mistakes were placed in the songs on purpose.
    Sorry for the rant. I just hate constantly hearing those songs and their wuzes.


  2. Over here in Italy, there’s yearly concert tour of various artists called Festivalbar. They are a charity group who puts together these huge shows, and the shows are broadcast over the entire tour. There’s a good mixture of artists from America, the UK, Brazil, and of course, Italy. They even had Simply Red do a couple of the shows to perform “Perfect Love”. So for the most part, I had no complaints, right up until the Pussycat Dolls showed up. Within a minute, I was growling “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was slutty like me? Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a porn star like me?”
    So here we are, the “new Spice Girls”, once again proving dumb ass cum dumpsters can still find a job in the music biz. Now, dontcha wish they’d all get VD?


  3. It’s Tom Cruise’s fault. He was in that horrible “War of the Worlds” movie with that mini-skank child who looks like a miniature Courtney Love before she was run down by drugs and alcohol.


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