Bratz Crapz

You’ve seen the Bratz dolls, right?  They’re impossible to miss since they’re marketed like crazy.  They have oversized eyes and lips, teensy little waists, and a single facial expression:  calm, cool contempt.  If these dolls could talk, they’d be saying “You want what I got?  Talk to the hand, bitch!  I fucked yo boyfriend!”

Even the grotesque Bratz Babyz have this tarted-up “Screw you!” look.  Seriously.  They really creep me out.  Is this nasty attitude really necessary in a toy?

As expected, the Bratz dolls(z?) have been very successful and therefore they’ve expanded this line of snotty little dolls to include “boyz” as well.  Wonderful.  But these ones don’t really look bitchy…they just look like midget versions of pretentious pretty-boy pop singers.  Again, cree-e-e-e-e-p-y.

This brings me to the point of this post (yes, there is one!).  Troy recently pointed me to a website which will amaze and horrify you.  No, it’s not Michael Jackson’s museum of old noses.  It’s not the Ernest Borgnine nude photo collection.  It’s worse, oh so much worse!  Welcome, if you dare, to one man’s obsession with Bratz Boyz.  He has far more information about them than any adult male should have…but just as disturbing (maybe more so) is his massive collection of Ken dolls.  Oh yes, the whole site is one giant freak-o-rama.


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  1. I hate these stupid dolls! Really, what are these teaching little girls? That they can be completely obsessed with their looks? My 7-year-old daughter knows better than to ask for one–I’ve told her numerous times that they’re absolutely stupid.


  2. Agreed – those dolls are creepy. I just saw a god-awful commercial for them a couple of nights ago. Little girls playing instruments, dressed like rock-whores, and the visuals alternated between them and their look-a-like Bratz dolls. I am dreading the day my daughter is old enough to ask for this kind of crapola. As for that website…. yikes. I especially like the part where he mentions that he considers Ken to be one of his best friends. He must have some pretty shitty real friends!


  3. …………..
    this is my universal sign for stunned silence.
    I’m not sure if it is just my flawed curmudgeoned memory, but there seems to be an ever increasing number of miniature plastic zombie products. Bratz, amazingly are not at the top of my hate list. They are strange evil pixie like things, and everytime I walk through the toy aisle at Fred Meyer I can help but say “Hey Cameron want to experiment with gay sex?”, “Yeah, Kyle, that’s be cool”.
    My ant-marketing vehemence is actually for Teen Trendz and their advertisements which ask young impressionable girls which Teen they are like. So the message is, out of the millions of possible personalities out there, you get to identify with one of four cliche’s. All four of course being popular icons of success in elementary school.
    And here I thought for so long that the do-anything you want, Barbie was bad.
    However, as in all things evil and corrupt, there is an opportunity for light. And I think that the BratzBoys maybe soon recruited for their own indie film debut.


  4. i love the bratz je sui fan d”eux et g 12 ans edmis c pas qeu pour les peti c poure les 1 à 17 ans qoi mais poure moi il ya pas d’ age poure ca JE VOUS AIME LES BRATZ



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