What happened to June? Beats me.
Florida town casts out Satan
OK, this is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. You can’t “cast out” Satan with a proclamation. Does this twit really think that evil can be bound by human laws? This is the height of arrogance and silliness. Why not ask the townsfolk to try to lead better lives, help one another, and do their part to keep the town safe and wholesome? You can only stop evil by being good. But that would require too much effort on the part of the townsfolk, I suppose. It’s easier for someone to write up a document to “kick the devil out of town”. But this is what makes religious zealots so entertaining to watch, so I can’t complain too much!
Advertisers shy away from TV networks’ 9/11 shows
Well, look at that! But don’t think for a moment that these companies are staying off T.V. out of respect the 9/11 victims. If they could get away with it, they’d be selling 9/11 Chevy trucks and Twin Towers steak knives, but they know the public would absolutely destroy them. So they’re laying low, pretending to care, but don’t fall for it. They’re still lurking, waiting to fill your T.V. with crapola as soon as 9/12 rolls around.
Pentagon charge cards used for strip clubs
Your government at work, folks. See what all those taxes buy? Now let’s see some hooters, wooo-hoooo!
Beijing paper falls for gag in American tabloid
Oh, this is rich. Truly. God bless The Onion!
Obese man sues fast food restaurants
This is old news by now, but I still gotta say something. If you smoke, you have nobody to blame but yourself for the health problems that you create for yourself. We have known for 20 years (or more) that cigarette smoke will KILL YOU. Now, the same principle applies to fast food—we have known for YEARS that fast food is full of fat, cholesterol, sodium, and the occasional killer bacteria. Unless you’re a complete and utter nitwit who hasn’t picked up a newspaper or watched a news broadcast in the past few years, you KNOW that this stuff is bad for you and will do nasty things to your body…yes, including gain lots of weight. Don’t blame the food—blame your own stupid self for going overboard with it. Idiot.
Startled marines find Afghan men all made up to see them
You know, while reading this I had the sneaking suspicion that it was some sort of joke. It just reads like a bad hoax. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but if it is…I’ve got to question the integrity of these soldiers. Saying that these gay Afghan men were “more terrifying than the al-Qaeda” is completely absurd. What happened to all that bravado and machismo that soldiers are known for? So you saw men dressed up like women. So they tried to come onto you. Big deal. If you can’t handle that, being the big, tough, manly soldier that you claim to be, then I suggest that you get some counseling to work out your issues.