Madison Sixth-Grader Faces Expulsion Over Science Project
Yeah! That’ll teach the little brat to think of knives as weapons of destruction instead of simple, everyday utensils. We’ll have none of that childlike innocence stuff in OUR schools, dammit!! Sigh. The people responsible for this whole issue ought to be forced to attend some seminars in knee-jerk reaction avoidance.
Abercrombie & Fitch Asian T-Shirts Trigger Boycott: Shirts Depict Sterotypes Of Asians
This is truly amazing. How can a company like A&F, which relentlessly markets its goods to the young & hip crowd, be so blind to the gigantic mistake they were making? This is astounding, yet entertaining…I just love watching big corporations like this squirm. (Also, I think that Abercrombie & Fitch should sue George Lucas for stealing their “Attack of the Clones” idea. If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, never mind…)
Killing the messenger – William Harvey discovered the limits of free speech when he paraded a block away from ground zero with a poster of Osama bin Laden
Want to read a horrifying story about the kind of treatment people exercising their right to free speech are getting? Check this out…and if you aren’t outraged, perhaps you ought to rethink your concept of “free speech.”
2nd Leak Of Anthrax Found at Army Lab
What? We don’t traffic in Anthrax. That’s someone else. Oh, wait…well, maybe we did experiment with it a little, but not anymore. That was years ago. What? Hmmm? Well OK, so we’re STILL experimenting with anthrax and breeding new strains of it, but it’s totally secure. What missing anthrax? Yeah, we did lose some, but it’s all contained now. What? More missing? Yeah, we might have a leak somewhere, but we promise it’s not being used for anything bad! What? Well…
Republicans Give Alec
Baldwin One-way Greyhound ticket to Montreal
Oh, this is priceless. I’m no Republican, but they really nailed his ass with this one. Don’t make ludicrous public promises unless you plan on keeping them, people!
Boycott targets gave to Jackson
Jesse Jackson is one unscrupulous mutha. It’s been discovered that the companies on his list of boycott targets were giving him money so he wouldn’t boycott them. When will people wake up and realize what a complete and total flake this man is? Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and similar ilk have set the civil rights movement back 20 years with their corruption and money-grubbing agendas. It’s time to kick them to the curb and start bringing some responsible, respectable people to the forefront of this movement.
Two men face felony; beat each other with baseball bats in fight over Little League
Ah, the spirit of sportsmanship! Two grown men losing mental control over Little League trivialities, slugging each other with a baseball bat in a completely mature, adult display of civility and sportsmanship. I hope their kids learned two things from it all: 1) Their daddies are morons, and 2) the glorious world of sports can bring out the worst in people. Truly.
Court upholds 197-year-old sodomy law
More people living in the Dark Ages. I’m going to start calling these people “Butt Nazis” because they sure seem to have a fascination with what people do back there. “Yoo vill NOT touch ze arse, ja? Nozink vill go into ze hindqvarters! Der poop-chute ist NICHT for peepee funtimes! NO touchy-touchy! NO soup for you! Alles klar??” The Butt Nazi in question this time is Louisiana State Rep. Tony Perkins, who’s worried that by not upholding this archaic and intrusive law against a victimless activity, the state would be “legitimizing homosexuality”. Hello?? What color is the sky on your planet, Mr. Perkins? Don’t you realize that STRAIGHT PEOPLE HAVE ANAL SEX TOO???? Heteros do it, homos do it, bisexuals do it…every flavor of sexuality does it. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. People have been doing it since the dawn of time, knowing that God is more concerned with peoples’ love for each other than what they do in bed. I’m sorry if you can’t handle reality, Mr. Perkins, but I suggest that you pull your nose out of that big dusty Bible and get out a little more. Expand that teeny little worldview you have, and maybe someday you’ll realize that people ignore senseless laws like this all the time, and they enjoy themselves thoroughly while they’re at it. In fact, you sound like you could use a little poke yourself. Jawohl!
Clothes factory owner quits after ‘Jesus appears on jeans’
(photo in story) You know, the last time I saw something like this, it was a farmer who ran off to become a priest because he grew a turnip that kinda looked like Christ. And just when I can’t possibly doubt the sanity of these people any more, something even more incredulous happens, and I’m thrown into a state of complete disbelief. But you know what? This guy could seriously market this stuff and make a fortune. Levi’s 501 JesusJeans™. On sale now at The Gap for $79.95!
Students toss bottles, light fires after Maryland win
Another case of sports hype whipping people into an animalistic frenzy.
‘My Son’s a Fruit’ – Parents Are Giving Kids Strange Names
There was a story about this last year in August (check the Archives) about parents naming their kids after famous brand names. Can you imagine naming your child something like “Canon”? God help us. Why not “Microsoft” or “Memorex”? Exotic names are fine, but please, let’s stay out of the realm of merchandise, OK? It’s humiliating to the poor kid.
U.S. Army’s Psychological Operations Personnel Worked at CNN
This is actually news from 2001, but I think it needs to be seen because I sure didn’t hear anything about it last year. Read this story carefully, and see if it doesn’t give you major chills down your spine. If you STILL think that you can trust your news to be accurate, even from CNN, maybe this will open your eyes a bit.
U.S. Government Repressed Marijuana-Tumor Research
Another “censored” item from 2001 that you should read. This is amazing and horrifying, but is it really surprising? The “evil weed” must be stopped before it helps too many people!!
Python star criticises Tomb Raider movie
Way to go, Terry Gilliam! He quickly sums up exactly what many people thought of this movie. Sure, his criticism comes a year late, but it’s still worth reading. Gilliam is a true filmmaker with vision and imagination. The “Tomb Raider” movie was made by people who have no clue about anything except what “looks cool” and will make the most money.