Americans ‘covered up massacre of 280 Taliban’
No! Would our military do such a thing? Sure, we drop bombs on the wrong people and blow up incorrect targets all the time, but would we actually try to cover up such a massacre? Don’t doubt it for a second. Remember what the basic function of the military is, folks: to kill people and blow things up. So why aren’t they taking pride in their work by splashing this all over the news? You don’t suppose the public would react badly to it, do you? Gee, I wonder! That alone speaks volumes about what our government is doing in the name of its people…it’s doing things it’s apparently ashamed to admit.
Rivera, Fox ripped by rivals over war coverage Where’s Geraldo?
This is too funny… First he was almost shot by a sniper, and now he admits that he wasn’t bravely reporting from the frontlines of the battle like he said. Dork! Phony! LIAR!!
Wham, Bam, Thank You Spam
This is amazing! People are suing the morons who send out spam for damages, and they’re winning money! If you have some time & patience for the process, it looks like you can make some extra cash this way, AND fight to stamp out spammers while you’re at it.
Prince attacks soaring egos of skyscraper architects
Wow, usually I ignore whatever Prince Charles is talking about, but I never thought I’d hear him address an issue like this and make such good points. I agree with him…the idea of building ever-higher skyscrapers which serve no real function except to block out the sky and feed the architect’s ego needs to be re-examined. Maybe it’s time for some modesty and functionality in our new architecture, what do you think?
Robot golfers unveiled
Oh, joy. Some guy put all his time and effort and engineering smarts into building a robot that knows how to play the most boring and pointless game known to man. Just imagine…he did this rather than apply his skills towards something to actually benefit mankind. Then again, with golf being such a mindless game to begin with, maybe a robot is the perfect thing to be playing it.
Church plans Harry Potter book burning
More church-sponsored lunacy. With this kind of thing going on, how can anyone take these folks seriously about anything? It’s obvious that these people have NO knowledge of Harry Potter OR witchcraft. If it has nothing to do with Jesus, it’s automatically evil and must be destroyed. We can’t have kids with active imaginations or thoughts of their own, now can we??
Eagan flight trainer wouldn’t let unease about Moussaoui rest
This guy knew that someone in his flight class had terrorist leanings. He reported it to the FBI. And did the FBI listen? Are you kidding? This entire agency ought to be disbanded for its incompetence and reassigned to janitorial duties. Same for the IRS…let these two groups scrub toilets together for a better America!
U.S. to bomb Afghanistan with cake
What? I say…WHAT?? Is this someone’s sick idea of a joke? How impersonal…and how disrespectful. This is the tacky equivalent to getting a White House Christmas card via e-mail. Dropping cakes on the Afghans is supposed to make our government seem to actually give a shit about Ramadan, which of course it doesn’t. I’m truly embarrassed. Do you think they’ll actually drop these cakes on the correct targets for a change?
58 Charged in Anthrax Hoaxes
Good! It’s amazing how dumb people can be, preying on the fear of others for a cheap laugh. I’ll bet they ain’t laughing now…
Bush to Americans: Quit Drugs, Join War Effort
He’s kidding, right? Right? Please tell me he isn’t this dense. Perhaps he would have more men able to fight in this war if he wasn’t so busy locking them up for harmless, recreational pot use. And what about all those alcoholics, smokers, and coffee addicts? Why isn’t he asking THEM to give up their drugs of choice to join the war effort? Legal or not, they’re still drug users like the others. Let’s not have any more hair-splitting propaganda, Shrubby.
Study Confirms That U.S. Kids Are Getting Fatter
No, really?? Gee, and I thought that countless hours sitting in front of a T.V. watching garbage and playing mindless videogames would be the perfect lifestyle for kids. And eating all that fast food that their parents love to feed them every week, you mean that isn’t healthy either? What has this world come to???
Church kicks out nursery kids for learning about Hindu festival
What? Where is the all-knowing, all-caring church we keep hearing about? The loving, tolerant, open-armed, generous church which normally falls over itself to help children? Let me know when it resurfaces, will you? Because apparently the “church” we have now is more concerned about hammering its own dogma into kids’ brains instead of letting them discover what might be going on in the outside world, and in other cultures. Jesus is going to kick SO much church ass when he gets back.
Geraldo ducks to avoid sniper fire
Um… Is it wrong to root for the sniper in this case? Here’s a tip to you snipers: just aim for the ego, you can’t miss.
My Britney problem — and yours
Yes, Britney is everyone’s problem in one way or another. Have you heard her cover of “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll”? It’s an absolute travesty!
Man installs bin Laden lynching display on truck
So? What’s wrong with this? People shouldn’t pretend to be so shocked at such an image…it mirrors perfectly bloodthirsty kill-kill-kill mentality that a lot of people seem to have lately. I just wish I could see a photo of it.
Is flag fever patriotism or darker stuff?
Another excellent article about flag-worship in these days of hyperpatriotism.
Three U.S. Troops Killed, 19 Hurt by Errant Bomb
Oh, lovely! More action by the smart bombs, obviously. They’re smart, so they must have known what they were doing…unlike the people dropping them.
Orang-utans can swing both ways
“Those damn dirty apes!” Well, as my roommate says, “Why are they so surprised by this? They obviously haven’t been to a gay leather bar lately.”
Woman Pilot Sues U.S. Over Islamic Dress Code
This is just plain silly. Requiring women in the Service to dress and behave like the oppressed women of Afghanistan? Are they joking, or are they just being typical male military morons?
The Quest to End Game Addiction
This is an excellent article, especially if you know an addict yourself. I know people who devote entire weekends to marathon game-playing, alone or in groups, and it’s more than a little pathetic. Virtual people in virtual worlds, living virtual lives while the REAL world passes them by. How sad.
U.S. apologises to media on “friendly fire” cover
Yeah, suuuure you’re sorry. Not too eager to let the media cover your screw-ups, are ya? Then again, we’re only talking about “collateral damage” here…just a few dead people. No biggie.
US bombs hit wrong target for second time in two days
Wow! I think we’re on our way to some sort of world record for hitting the most incorrect targets. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Christian convert cuts ‘sinful’ penis off with machete
More positive, enlightening benefits of being a guilt-ridden, self-hating Christian. Sorry to beat up on Christians so much, but come on. Any religion which is based on guilt and fear and self-loathing isn’t helping anyone much. And don’t try to tell me that he “misinterpreted” the Bible’s teachings…’cause that argument doesn’t hold water either. Whatever your religion, God (in whatever form you perceive God to be) doesn’t want you to hate yourself. Trust me.
Cultural institution pays artist to ejaculate seven times
Isn’t it amazing how some artists create absolute garbage for shock value, and then try to fend off criticism with “But you just don’t understand its deep meaning”? Oh, please. I’m all for creativity and abstract artistic statements, but this guy is really pushing it when he asks us to believe that this crap is making some deep, complex statement. Sounds like he just wanted to paddle the pickle a few times and get some publicity.
Santa Accused of Slapping Child
Oh my! The Christmas Spirit is in full swing with this guy, oh yeah.