Holy shit, this month was a doozy!
Treadmills Keep Fighting Cocks Lean And Mean
This is another dark, sick side of humanity that I would love to see disappear forever. What’s with these people? What enjoyment to they get out of watching animals fight and kill each other? The fact that some people are so passionate about their sicko sport that they devise treadmills for their chickens is even more bizarre. And don’t tell me it’s a “cultural thing”, either. Cruelty is the same in any culture: wrong.
Arabs See Jewish Conspiracy in Pokemon
This is just hilarious. I think Pokemon is evil in its own weird way, but a Jewish Conspiracy? Where to people come up with this stuff? And if you read the story, most of it stems from a misunderstanding about what the word “Pokemon” means. It means “Pocket Monster”, but somehow the Arabs translate this into “An Evil Jewish Conspiracy To Take Over The World.” Whatever!
The product placement monster that E.T. spawned
This is a fantastic article which shows just how insidious those Marketing Bastards are when it comes to product placements on T.V. and in movies. They will stop at NOTHING to sell their crap to you. Take particular notice of the new marketing strategy discussed here: intrusive advertisements DURING movies and T.V., even on home video! If that ever happens, I will cut that sort of entertainment out of my life forever, you can bet on that. And I don’t think the rest of the country will go for it either…we’re just getting tired of having crap shoved down our throats when we just want to be entertained.
Trovillion Attacks Library Web Access
So the Hateful Homophobic Old Fart opens his denture-laden mouth once more. This time he’s blabbing about filtering the Internet access in libraries and censoring out material that he doesn’t think you should be able to see. If you control speech and information, you can then control thought. This is what people like this guy are after: they want total control over your thoughts, your behavior, your entire being. Just FYI.
How the XFL football league became a big flop in TV history
One final article on the craptacular sport known as the XFL, and I’ll leave it alone. This is a superb story about the dismal failure of XFL…it’s great reading for those of you (like me) who have nothing but contempt for the sports world in general. Check it out!
House Passes Bill Defining Fetuses As People
So fetuses are officially considered to be people now, eh? What I want to know is: will they be counting fetuses in the next Census? Why not? If they’re people now, we need to get those little buggers counted! And it will be easier to count them, because they won’t be able to pretend they’re not home when the Census taker knocks, the way the rest of us do.
Court OKs Arrest for No Seat Belt
I don’t know about you, but this bothers me. A policeman can now stop you and arrest you for not wearing a seat belt. Why does this bother me? Because wearing a seat belt is COMMON SENSE! Why do we need lawmakers ordering us to do things that we already know to do? If you refuse to wear your belt, or if you refuse to buckle your kids down, then YOU are responsible for the consequences. Remember that word? Responsibility. Try taking some for a change. Don’t the police have enough on their hands without having to waste their time pulling over some idiot who isn’t wearing his seat belt? This is court-mandated safety and it’s just silly.
Cosmetic Counter Claims
Wow, you mean those cosmetic companies might be…LYING? No! I refuse to believe it. I thought their skin cream really COULD make people younger! They wouldn’t lie about something like that, would they? Uh-huh. Wake up, folks…you’re buying too much bullshit.
Exploding Entrails Blamed for Disease
This doesn’t really qualify as “stupid news”, just gross news. Yick!! Imagine this happening to you…
Another “Jackass” Copycat
I don’t need to comment on this one. Just read and laugh…
Killing Rare Animals
Another example of arrogant humans raping the animal world for nothing more than the gratification of their pathetic egos. I’m sorry, but people like this have some serious issues. They feel that they must kill rare, majestic animals in order to re-assert their dominance or something. I think penis size (or lack thereof) may have something to do with it. If these guys were REAL men, they’d be out there killing elephants with their bare hands, not guns. Cowards.
Fla. Rep in Hot Water for Homophobia
I’m so glad that this old fart opened his mouth now, because he made everyone aware of how hateful he really is. He’s completely unapologetic, of course, but that’s to be expected. Heads up, voters! Then again, we’re talking about Florida voters here, and they might end up re-electing him by accident. Just kidding. 🙂
14.5 Million Pounds of Meat Recalled
More fun news for you meat eaters out there! Yes, there has been another “bad meat” scare. 14.5 million pounds is a LOT of meat to be recalled, isn’t it? All because it MIGHT be contaminated with listeria. They don’t even know for sure, but it MIGHT be contaminated. That’s how confident they are in their safety controls, isn’t that comforting? And just think about all the bad meat out there that they haven’t found yet! It’s getting to the point where you have to be paranoid about every ham or turkey sandwich you make, not to mention every burger you bite into. These companies mass-produce inferior animals which make for inferior food. Bon appetit!
McVeigh Tells PETA He Understands Animal Rights
Once again, PeTA pulled a misguided and discombobulated stunt on behalf of the animals. This time, they tried to get Timothy McVeigh to go vegetarian for his last meal before he’s executed in order to keep him from “taking one more life.” Oh, PUH-LEEZE! I’m vegetarian, but let’s think about this for a moment…anything this guy eats will ALREADY BE DEAD by the time it gets to his table. He’s not killing anything by eating a hamburger or a steak…it will be dead long before. DUH! But then again, PeTA isn’t exactly known for thinking things out completely. Remember the “Drink beer, not milk!” fiasco?
E-mail stunt empowers Jedi fans
Oh my God! I’m almost speechless…but not quite. These people have GOT to be kidding. Unfortunately, I think they’re serious. These dorks want to make “Jedi” an official religion and appoint themselves “Jedi Knights”, can you even believe that? Come on…you guys can’t even levitate simple objects using the Force, so how can you possibly be Knights? This has got to be one of the most juvenile “movements” I’ve ever heard of. Turn off your computers and come out into the sunshine for a while, people…there are more important things in the world to think about.
Survey: HIV Drug Ads May Encourage Unsafe Sex
You know, I’ve always been disturbed by ads for HIV drugs. Forget the safe sex argument for a moment… These ads always feature smiling, hunky, healthy guys as if to say, “Take these drugs and you’ll be just like us: alive and sexy! Yeah, dude!” Well, the truth is that HIV drugs can make you extremely ill, on top of your other illnesses. They affect people in a variety of ways. Some waste your muscles away, some give you a pot-belly, some make you sick to your stomach all the time…lots of nasty things. I know people who take them and it’s not always pretty. And I have yet to hear of a drug that makes you healthy AND sexy. It’s more marketing bullshit, and this time it’s more misleading than ever. As for the safe sex issue, anyone who discards protection while thinking they’ll be “rescued” by HIV drugs in the future is really asking for trouble!
Docs Banned From Using Phones During Surgery
Imagine! A doctor operating on you gets a call on his cell phone and actually takes the call. This is no different than telling the patient, “I’m sorry, but your life just isn’t as important as whoever is calling me now. Please hold.” I’m amazed that wasn’t banned from the beginning!
Gay Appointment Angers Conservatives
Isn’t this fun? Conservatives biting each other on the ass over a silly issue like the appointment of a (gasp!) homosexual to a public office. This is great entertainment! See how shallow they are? See how ruffled they can get over the dumbest issues? Of course the guy is a member of the Log Cabin Republicans, a silly group to begin with, but hey…if his appointment angers Bush’s supporters, then I’m all for it. “His kind” is just as capable of running the AIDS Policy office as anyone else.
Seattle behind other cities when it comes to diversity
What? Well, what will it take to make these racial nitpickers happy? Quotas? Yeah, that’s it. Let’s only let certain races move here so we can even those numbers out. And while we’re at it, we can start kicking out people we have too many of. Isn’t this what they’d like to do, in order to achieve the perfect racial balance they want so desperately? We’re always hearing about how we’re one people, a Human Race, we’re all in this together, etc…but it’s hard to think that way when these people constantly carve us up into separate groups and sections. There’s no “we” anymore, but only “us” and “them”, just like in politics. Personally, I commute to work every day, riding through both city and suburbs, and I see people of every race and color all the time. Black, asian, white, hispanic, you name it. Some areas of town have more of one race than another, just like any other city, but overall I see a good mix of everything. The people who complaining about a lack of diversity most likely have their own agendas they’re trying to push…they usually want funding for some program or other, and the best way to get it is to bring up the issue of race and stir up emotions. Just ask Jesse Jackson, he’s an old pro at it.
Stampede at Soccer Match Kills 45
This is just astounding. The value that people place on sports of all sorts never fails to amaze me. This is why I say that the world of sports is nothing more than a cult with millions of fanatical worshippers. Large groups of people congregating in a temple to get whipped into a frenzy and worship costumed gods? Ya can’t deny the similarities!
Pickup Trucks, SUVs Slammed for Shoddy Bumpers
This is great! Apparently some SUVs out there have extremely crushable bumpers…so crushable, in fact, that even the smallest of fender-benders can do some serious damage. Awwww. Poor SUV…so big and brute and powerful, but with such limp bumpers. Not very manly, is it? That must be hell for the drivers. To drive something so huge and bulky, yet having to worry about tipping over, or having a Firestone tire blow out, or utterly destroying your bumper…add that to the cost of all the gas they guzzle and the costly maintenance & insurance, and it must be maddening — not to mention expensive. Good. The more flaws they discover about these hulking monstrosities, the more fun I have! I hope they also discover that the headlights implode at speeds over 75mph or something. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
Student Sues to Express “Straight Pride”
Um, I would like to ask this kid exactly who has ever made fun of him because he’s straight. I want to know how much guilt he has ever felt for being straight, for being the way he was born. Has anyone ever made him feel inadequate, inferior, or just plain unnatural because of his heterosexuality? No? That’s what I thought. Gay people have long been told that they’re inferior, inadequate, and unnatural…and the idea behind this pride thing is that we (yes, we) are finally denying the bigots and accepting the way we are, and not feeling guilty about being different. (Personally I don’t make a big deal about gay pride…why shove it in others’ faces? Or straight pride, for that matter?) So unless this kid has ever suffered for being straight, the idea of “straight pride” just seems silly and intended to stir up trouble. And does the fact that a Christian legal group is defending him surprise you in the least? Not me…a lot of church youth groups pass out silly shirts like this. But all this may be moot anyway…as my friend John points out, the kid is a minor and a student, which means that his freedom of speech is subject to the whims of the Principal of his school. And if a student can successfully be ordered to NOT wear a Marilyn Manson shirt (which happened recently), then this case is bound to be tossed out like so much junk mail.
Bush Urges Congress to Stop Bickering, Name-Calling
Isn’t this interesting? Bush wants Congress to stop bickering. Yeah, right! That’s what they’re there for: to bicker and not make progress. That way they keep their pensions and the country never gets anywhere. And to twist the knife even more, leave it to a Democrat to bring up The Children as the cornerstone of his argument. The Children will suffer, The Children will be hurt! Blah-blah-blah… Professional bullshitters like Senator Kennedy know that when your arguments are weak, you can use The Children as leverage and the people will sympathize. The Repugnicans are guilty if the same thing, but the Democrats do it so much better.
MTV Sued for Potty Prank
What the hell is with MTV these days? No, the real question is: what the hell is it with people who watch it? Are you people that hard-up for entertainment? This, my friends, is one of the many reasons I refuse to get cable on my T.V. There’s too much mindless, soulless, talentless CRAP out there, and it’s nothing more than mind-poison for the nitwits who absorb it. T.V. itself is like an arsenic brownie. Are you gonna have another bite, or will you finally say “No thanks, I’ve had enough” before it completely eats your brain away?
Rugger Resigns Over Rectal Fouls
OK, now that I’ve bashed MTV for going out of its way to be as juvenile as possible, I just HAVE to share this story, which seems like something right out of MTV’s programming. It’s real, and it’s bizarre…much different from MTV’s idiotic staged grossness. This is pure weirdness in action: a soccer player who was suspended for poking his finger into other player’s butts (during games!) is suing a prostate cancer organization because their latest poster features a photo of him…poking his finger into another player’s butt. I’m sorry, but… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And the language is this story is just great. Terms like “digital penetration” abound.
Fla. Legislator Attacks Gay Youth
Yes, religion-inspired hatred and disgust of others is alive and well, and this time it comes from a state representative in Florida. Imagine…as a state rep, this guy is supposed to set a good example for these students who are visiting the state capital. He’s supposed to be professional, perhaps as someone to aspire to someday. But in his shrivelled-up, hateful old brain, “setting a good example” means telling them that because they’re gay, they’re going to roast in hell. It’s hard to believe that someone in that position would be so blatantly unprofessional…but when you’re raised to condemn those who aren’t like you, I suppose this kind of open loathing of others comes quite naturally.
Gun show sellers annoyed with Colo. law
Awwww, poor gun sellers! Having to do background checks before a sale? Barbaric! I’m sorry, but an instant background check doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. Sure, someone with a clean record can buy a gun and blow a bunch of people away, that’s always a possibility. But if you have the means to screen out as many potential killers as possible, why not do it? Here’s an alternative: let’s give the gun sellers the option to skip the background checks, on the condition that if the person who buys from them ends up killing someone with that gun, the seller will be considered an accomplice. Or at least partially responsible and nameable in a lawsuit. Think those background checks would still be a problem?
BYU Suspends Students for Gay Conduct
More church-sponsored moronics. People need to realize that in most cases, the church doesn’t care if you’re “chaste” or not. To them, gay=evil. That’s it. You don’t have to hold hands or kiss someone to be considered bad…to them you’re bad from the beginning. That’s why I wonder why people cling to any religion (and institutions associated with those religions) which have a fundamental disgust with the way people are born, something they can’t help or change. But that’s just me.
“Dr. Laura” TV show canceled
I’m sorry, but… HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did she really think that her show would last more than a few months? With the crappy ratings and the advertiser boycotts, it was doomed from the start. Her hateful yammering is not suitable for television, and it’s hardly even suitable for radio. Don’t let the door slam you on the ass on your way out, quack.
Consumers Rage Over California Electric Rate Hike
This rate hike thing is interesting. But you know what? I wonder how hard it would be to cut down on power consumption in California. For instance, is it really necessary to keep all streets lit all night? If they would turn off every other street light in those rural areas, they could save some serious wattage, it would seem to me. And what about all those companies which allow their employees to leave their computers on all night? If a computer isn’t being used during non-office hours, turn it off! How long can it possibly take to boot your PC up, anyway? 30 seconds? A minute? Are you such a busy person that you can’t wait that long? I’m sure there are loads of things that people can do to save power, if they’d think about all the ways they’re wasting it.
McDonald’s Lawsuit Claims Rat Head in Burger
Oh, I just love this. But the main question is: how can a rat’s head make a McDonald’s hamburger any unhealthier than it already is? Who knows, maybe the rat’s head adds some nutritional value which is lacking. E-Coli, mad cow meat, and now a rat’s head. Yum.
The War On Lawns Is Here!
Here’s a great idea whose time is long since due, especially in the southwestern states. Millions of gallons of water are wasted on these lush, jungle-like lawns (not to mention swimming pools) when many places are having a water shortage. Does that make any sense at all??
Pennsylvania Attackers Claim “Gay Panic”
Oh, please. “Gay panic” is NO excuse for killing someone, it’s just a term made up by lawyers to get their murderous clients off the hook. Listen… If you’re so threatened by gay people that you’ll kill someone who comes onto you (or you THINK is coming onto you), maybe you’d better re-examine your own sexuality, pal. Anyone who’s that insecure about his sexuality has some serious issues to deal with.