God’s protection

 Holy Shit! (Religion)
Oct 102011
 

Well, we’re back from our jaunt through Italy, Croatia, and Greece.  It was a great trip to some beautiful places…  It was a cruise focusing on historical and archaeological destinations, so the median passenger age was 69…which means no screaming kids or drunk douchebags!  It was also a small ship with a max of 350 passengers, so it was able to get into some places that the “floating cities” can’t.

Since we were deep in Catholic Land, naturally most of our city tours featured at least two cathedrals.  Each town has its own main church, and each town has its own saint of something or other to protect it.  One town in particular had a saint known for “throat health”, since he allegedly saved someone from choking or something like that.  Seriously.  Anyway, several of these cathedrals also housed some holy relics, usually a body part (hand, finger, etc.) encased in gold to protect it from the unworthy.  I’ve heard of this but had never seen it on such a grand scale–one cathedral had a giant room filled top to bottom with these mummified oddities!  All supposedly coming from some guy supposedly blessed by god for whatever reason. The church museum in Zadar even claims to have a piece of the cross that Christ was nailed to.  No body parts, but a piece of the cross…suspended in some kind of murky goo, from what I could tell.  Of course many churches claim to have a piece of the cross, so for all we know this is just a bit of wood one of the nuns picked up behind the church walls centuries ago.

Many of these churches and museums also feature countless religious paintings of familiar scenes:  Jesus with a lamb, Mary with Jesus, Jesus being tortured, Jesus blessing the town’s saint, etc.  Some are considered masterpieces, and they really are impressive.  It was just interesting to see how each town had its own piece of Christ’s blessings by having its own saints, most of whom were painted right in there with Jesus.  These beliefs span the centuries, through countless wars, sackings, rebuildings, and occupations.  There was a similar theme in every place we went of cities being destroyed and rebuilt, and the art/artifacts being somehow saved.

Then we toured Dubrovnik and viewed its vast collection of holy artwork and relics.  They’re very big on the city saints, with many paintings featuring the saints holding the city in their hands.  Later we toured a museum dedicated to the horrific and senseless bombings by the Serbs, and that’s when I began to ask myself:  where is god’s protection?  These people have poured mountains of praise on Jesus and his family for centuries, creating masterpieces of art and architecture, even preserving bits of dead saints for all to see and worship.  Where was god when the Serbs pounded the unprotected, unarmed city with bombs for nearly a year?  And where was he when these other historic cities were being conquered and re-conquered?  (Of course Christians did more than their own share of conquering…)

I realize that for many in the Middle Ages, religion provided hope for a happy reward after a hard life.  But obviously people also called on Jesus to protect them and their cities, hence all the puffery of the town saints.  Seems to me that any being calling itself “god” should step in and protect those who so intensely worship him, but when did that happen?  I’m having a hard time seeing evidence of that.  ”Well, that’s because God doesn’t take direct action in such matters.  It’s all about faith.”  Oh, really?  What kind of omnipotent, omniscient being is he, then?  What’s the point of all this praying and teeth-gnashing if your own supreme being won’t even lift a finger to save your ass from wiped out by the latest invaders?

It was a great vacation…it just raised some interesting questions for me. :)

Prepping for Ireland

 General Blatherings
Mar 042011
 

I’ve been digging out some Irish music that I haven’t heard in a while, getting into the groove for our trip in just over a week.  This came on last night as I was cooking…I had forgotten what a brilliant (and bitchy in its own way) song it is.  Here are the lyrics to Paul Brady’s version, which many consider to be the best!  Look it up and play it if you can (maybe on iTunes?), it’s a lovely song considering the lyrics.  I do have to admit that I had to look up the word “spalpeen”, though…

Arthur McBride and the Sergeant
Trad arranged and adapted Paul Brady

Oh, me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride
As we went a-walking down by the seaside
Now, mark what followed and what did betide
For it being on Christmas morning…

Out for recreation, we went on a tramp
And we met Sergeant Napper and Corporal Vamp
And a little wee drummer, intending to camp
For the day being pleasant and charming

“Good morning ! Good morning!” the sergeant did cry
“And the same to you gentlemen! ” we did reply,
Intending no harm but meant to pass by
For it being on Christmas morning

But says he, “My fine fellows if you will enlist,
It’s ten guineas in gold I will slip in your fist
And a crown in the bargain for to kick up the dust
And drink the King’s health in the morning.

For a soldier he leads a very fine life
And he always is blessed with a charming young wife
And he pays all his debts without sorrow or strife
And always lives pleasant and charming…

And a soldier he always is decent and clean
In the finest of clothing he’s constantly seen
While other poor fellows go dirty and mean
And sup on thin gruel in the morning.”

“But”, says Arthur, “I wouldn’t be proud of your clothes
For you’ve only the lend of them as I suppose
And you dare not change them one night, for you know
If you do you’ll be flogged in the morning.

And although that we are single and free
we take great delight in our own company
And we have no desire strange faces to see
Although that your offers are charming

And we have no desire to take your advance
All hazards and dangers we barter on chance
For you would have no scruples for to send us to France
Where we would get shot without warning.”

“Oh now!”, says the sergeant “I’ll have no such chat
And I neither will take it from spalpeen or brat
For if you insult me with one other word
I’ll cut off your heads in the morning.”

And then Arthur and I we soon drew our hods
And we scarce gave them time for to draw their own blades
When a trusty shillelagh came over their heads
And bade them take that as fair warning

And their old rusty rapiers that hung by their side
We flung them as far as we could in the tide
“Now take them out, Divils!”, cried Arthur McBride
“And temper their edge in the morning.”

And the little wee drummer we flattened his pow
And we made a football of his rowdy-dow-dow
Threw it in the tide for to rock and to row
And bade it a tedious returning

And we having no money, paid them off in cracks
And we paid no respect to their two bloody backs
For we lathered them there like a pair of wet sacks
And left them for dead in the morning

And so to conclude and to finish disputes
We obligingly asked if they wanted recruits
For we were the lads who would give them hard clouts
And bid them look sharp in the morning

Oh me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride
As we went a walkin’ down by the seaside,
Now mark what followed and what did betide
For it being on Christmas morning

(From the traditional, adapted by Paul Brady/ Copyright control)

Europe vacation photos

 General Blatherings
Apr 032010
 

Vacation

I just realized that I never posted a link to our Europe vacation photos from last year.  So for anyone interested, here you go.  There’s a gallery for each day, so be sure and check out each one…those of you who actually like other people’s vacation photos, that is. :)   If you just want the highlights, I’ve made a gallery for that as well.

And for the very adventurous (and who have an hour to kill) I’ve posted a vacation video as well.  It’s broken into 7 parts because SmugMug only allows a maximum of 10 minutes of video at a time.  These have been heavily edited and trimmed to keep them as interesting as possible, even if you don’t always know what you’re looking at.  At least check out the Sedlec Bone Church in Part 5, it’s quite weird and interesting.  (Note:  the video is a little touchy…when you start playing the vid, just leave the mouse on or off the video itself, otherwise it might restart.)

When brutal body stink becomes an act of terrorism

 General Blatherings
Feb 222010
 

Shit, I can’t wait for them to start doing this on Seattle’s buses. There’s only so much ass-pit-crotch stank we can handle before it becomes a public health threat. WASH YOURSELF, HIPSTER DOUCHEBAGS.

Earlier this month, an American was removed from a flight operated by Canadian airline Jazz Air because of his “brutal” body odor.  Apparently the flight crew tried to find a way to separate him from the other passengers, but eventually admitted defeat and asked him to leave.  He flew out the next day.  A spokeswoman for the airline told CNN that it doesn’t have an official policy about body odor.

via consumerist.com

Greetings from Prague

 General Blatherings
Sep 142009
 

Have been traveling for the past week and a half, going thru Frankfurt, Munich, Dachau, and some other little towns before coming here.  What an incredible city, so beautiful despite being absolutely overrun with tourists.  Took a side-trip to Sedlec and saw the Bone Church, its something I’ll never forget.  Tomorrow we head for Berlin for 3 days, and then it’s back home.  Will have a ton of pics to post as usual!

We’re baaaaack!

 General Blatherings
Jun 282008
 

Well, we flew back into the U.S. yesterday, safe and sound.  It was a great trip for the most part, but somehow I managed to catch a cold the last 2 days we were there, so the flight was kind of hellish in that regard.  10 hours of nose-blowing, sneezing, inexplicably nonstop gas, and occasional shits while trapped in a cramped seat is not the best way to wrap up your vacation!  Naturally all of that was followed up by endless security checks and re-checks, TSA people stamping stuff and asking not-so-random questions, blah-blah-blah…none of which involved access to a bathroom, which I really needed.  One TSA guy dug through all my luggage just because I put “candy” on the declaration form.  Apparently German chocolate is a warning signal for DANGEROUS DRUGS.  Afterwards, naturally, he left all the bags open and messy, so I had to get everything back together again.  A few minutes longer and I could have have given him a stool sample to examine as well.

Anyway, I’m now going through the 1900+ photos I took, many of which will be tossed out because they suck or didn’t turn out right.  I’ll try to have some galleries posted sometime this week.

I was hoping to post a few notes while away, but we didn’t have reliable internet access while traveling, either because nobody offered free wifi (you hotel managers should rethink that) or we didn’t feel like finding an internet cafe and buying an hour’s access for a few minutes’ time.  But come to think of it, aside from email, I didn’t really miss it that much since there was so much other stuff to do.  But naturally I’m gonna spend a lot of time this weekend catching up on all the shit I missed! :)

7 days and counting

 General Blatherings
Jun 042008
 

Well, next week we’re off to Germany and Switzerland for two weeks!  We both really need this…  Critter is slaving away trying to get finished up with school so he can be rid of the UW forever, and I need something to shake me out of my ennui-fueled funk.  I even bought a new digital SLR camera for the trip, since the one I have now is over three years old–in other words, it’s practically ancient. This one looks to be a huge upgrade though, so we’ll see how it performs when I point it at those beautiful mountains and buildings.

First we’ll be staying with his family in their little town of Wackernheim for a couple of days, then we’ll be taking a little road trip down to Neu-Ulm for two days with a side trip to Fussen to see some castles.  Next it’s down to Bern for a couple of days with a side trip to Interlaken (and possibly a train ride up the Jungfrau to see the view and the ice museum).  Might also try to visit the HR Giger Museum, it’s supposedly just a short drive from Bern.  Finally we’ll end up in Berlin for 5 days (seeing a Kylie Minogue show there, woo!) and then it’s back to Wackernheim to catch our breath before flying home.  I’m not really looking forward to the airport/border hassle, but at least Lufthansa now flies directly to Frankfurt from Seattle so we won’t have to stop in New Jersey for a 4-hour layover like last time.

And because I take boredom on long fights very seriously (plus I’m a gadget whore), here’s what I’ll be taking along:

  • Nintendo DS with memory card loaded with games
  • iPod with Bluetooth wireless headphones
  • Cellphone (loaded with complete Harry Potter e-book collection…currently on Book 5)
  • Camera & accessories
  • Video camera (Critter will be using it)
  • Video player loaded with movies & shows
  • Pocket camera for concert
  • Garmin GPS for car navigation

Amazingly I can get all those (except for the video camera) stuffed into my camera bag for carry-on.  I wonder what it all looks like when it goes through the scanner?

Turn that frown upside down…or the TSA will getcha

 Unfuckingbelievable!
Jan 072008
 

Despite the endless security-related hassles to be encountered while traveling nowadays, I’ve never been harassed much.  I’ve had pat-downs and bag-searches, had my camera bag tested for explosives, been questioned by moody Passport Guys, even yelled at by American border drones when coming back from Canada.  I also had my stick deodorant confiscated once, even though the TSA listed non-gels as OK.  (Hey, the label even said that it “goes on dry”!  I guess a moist stick still counts as a sort of half-liquid or something.)  But overall, I glide though the hoops and all generally goes well because I follow their silly rules, even when it means getting halfway undressed at the metal detector.

Now, however, there’s a new factor to take into account:  my face.  Later this week we’ll be passing through Sea-Tac airport, and according to an article in the Seattle PI, they’ll be watching our facial expressions to determine if we plan to commit an act of unspeakable evil.  Apparently “microfacial expressions” can betray our deepest, darkest, stinkiest secrets.  Oh dear.

I’m no expert, but I’m a tad skeptical.  This is the airport we’re talking about, after all.  Can they really sniff out “terrorist expressions” in a place where people feel rushed, cramped, and crabby because of traffic, tight schedules, delayed flights, lost luggage, and ludicrous security requirements?  People are going to have less-than-pleasant expressions on their faces quite a bit, it’s just a given.  Hell, some people just scowl naturally–maybe it’s their usual expression or maybe they’re simply trying to work something out.  I tend to scowl when I’m concentrating something, even in the best of moods…so I guess I’d better not think too much while I’m passing through Sea-Tac, hmmm?

Ordinary people who are feeling anxious are “much more open with their body movements and their facial expressions as compared to an operational terrorist (thinking) ‘I’ve got to defeat security,’ ” Maccario said.

I guess this means that if I’m pretty relaxed and looking confident but I’ve got a sore back which causes me to wince or scowl for a brief moment, they might pull me over for questioning.  Microfacial expressions, indeed.  According to the story, they say they’re be able to differentiate between standard expressions of impatience/nervousness and evildoer intent, but what do they base this on?  How did they practice for this?  Are they going to be able to tell whether some guy with a nasty look on his face is planning something dastardly or is simply irritated because the TSA goons threw out his stick deodorant after he went through all the trouble of finding one small enough to fit in the absurd little plastic bag they require?  Skeptical traveling minds on a schedule want to know.

“In the SPOT program, we have a conversation with (passengers) and we ask them about their trip,” said Maccario from his office in Boston. “When someone lies or tries to be deceptive, … there are behavior cues that show it. … A brief flash of fear.”

Keep in mind that the TSA is already doing its best to scare the hell out of us and keep us on edge.  We’ve got the bogus 3-oz bottle rule (“That sippy-cup of baby formula may kill us all!”), the no-outside-liquids rule (“Please enjoy the vastly overpriced drinks in the terminal!”), the constantly-repeating loudspeaker messages (“Suspicious bags will be destroyed!  Don’t park here more than 3 minutes or you will be arrested!”), the random pat-down-and-questioning routine (“I’m patting down your vaginal area for explosives, but I’m using the back of my hand so it’s OK.”), and many others.  Maybe some of those work and maybe they don’t, but with all of them piling on top of us, I’m willing to bet that most people are going to have a “flash of fear” when questioned by airport security people these days.

They also won’t say if any terror plots have been foiled this way, though they’ve referred a few to “couterterrorism investigation” and arrested others for things like outstanding warrants or drug possession.  I’m all for capturing criminals, but what worries me are all the false positives that can occur from something like this.  There are many innocent people every year who are mysteriously put on the Do Not Fly list and have to fight to clear their names–perhaps this sort of thing is connected, who knows.  I just hope they don’t read blogs much.

Dear holiday travelers:

 General Blatherings
Nov 202007
 

How’s your vacation so far?  Oh, frustrated with the crowds and lines at the airport, huh?  I hear ya.  Those security people must be taking their sweet time getting people through the gates.  Lazy bums, they’re just trying to make us miss our flights!

But wait…maybe it’s not their fault after all.  Maybe they’re simply bogged down with too many stupid, unnecessary items that clueless travelers insist on packing into their carry-on luggage.  They’re packing bottles of wine, kitchen knives, antique guns, pool cues, golf clubs, baseball bats, martial-arts weapons, power drills, cigarette lighters…not to mention liquid-ish food items like pie filling, honey, maple syrup, and other stuff we’ve repeatedly been told aren’t allowed.  Hmmm, it’s almost as if travelers are ignoring all the warnings…but no, that’s not possible.  Americans are the most responsible and informed travelers on the planet, everyone knows that.  Go us!

Jesus Christ monkeyballs, people.  What cave are you all living in if you STILL don’t know what you’re allowed to bring on an airplane these days?  Does your cave have electricity?  If so, take a moment out of your busy hunter-gatherer lifestyle to get online and read the TSA’s list of permitted and prohibited items.  This requires the ability to read, of course, as they currently don’t have it translated into cave-scrawl.

If you can’t manage to get online, how about turning on your television and watching all the news channels frantically telling us what NOT to take on a plane?  Oh wait, I forgot…your television is always on.  Silly me.  And yet you still don’t know what’s allowed.  How is that possible?  How can you be exposed to so much information and still remain a clueless twat?

Forgive my assholery, but I find this kind of ignorance appalling.  It may not be the sole cause of the crowds and long lines, but that’s not the point–the information is EVERYWHERE and yet people still sound surprised when their items are confiscated.  The TSA’s list doesn’t include every single banned item, but it’s like these people aren’t even making the effort to check.  “What, I can’t bring my collection of pickled sloth nostrils in my carry-on luggage?  When did that start?”  Fucking morons.  Pay attention to the world around you, will ya?  Even if it’s only while you’re out of your cave.  Others who are flying around this Thanksgiving (including myself) will greatly appreciate it!

New Jersey, here we come…  God help us.

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