Heart Attack Grill claims its first victim mid-burger

 General Blatherings, Unfuckingbelievable!
Feb 212012
 

Holy shit!  A burger restaurant named Heart Attack Grill–which advertises to our fattest, most disgusting and depressing citizens (even giving them free food if they weigh over 300 pounds)–has actually KILLED someone with its food.  Dead.  Right there in the fucking restaurant.  Is this awesome or what?  It’s like watching the American dream come to life right before our eyes!  And how appropriate that Fox News was there on the scene.

LAS VEGAS FOX5 -A man suffered a heart attack at a restaurant known for glorifying bad eating habits. The ‘Heart Attack Grill’ lived up to its name Saturday night.

Amateur video of the man being wheeled out of the restaurant by EMTs was posted to several websites.

“He was having the sweats and shaking,” said ‘Nurse’ Bridgett, who was working at the restaurant when the man in his 40s began experiencing chest pains.

“Doctor” Jon Basso, who opened the infamous restaurant in October, told FOX5 at first he thought it was a joke.

“One of the nurses came back to me and said, ‘Dr. Jon, we’ve got a patient who’s in trouble.’”

The restaurant is known for not holding back on the food it serves. The menu includes items like Flatliner Fries, and Bypass Burgers. A meal can easily exceed 8,000 calories.

The gentleman who suffered the heart attack was in the middle of eating a Triple Bypass burger when he began experiencing the symptoms.

via FOX5 Vegas

This here is the founder of Heart Attack Grill. He died in March, 2011 due to "the flu." Riiiight.

OK, OK…maybe it’s not “awesome” that some poor asshole died in this restaurant.  But to me the concept is, because that’s the restaurant’s whole marketing shtick.  ”C’mon in and die while y’all eat, hyuk-hyuk!  No, not really!  But maybe!”  It’s a horrifying and vastly depressing statement about what we’ve become as Americans.  Imagine:  some of us are so empty and unfulfilled that we eat ourselves to death.  We’re a grotesque, morbidly obese nation and this restaurant is the pinnacle of what a nation of desperate face-stuffers can accomplish.

Have a nice day! :)

Fat, diseased children are happy children

 Bullshit Detector, Unfuckingbelievable!
Nov 232010
 

Christ on a cracker!  McDonalds and PepsiCo are going to “help” write the UK’s health policy.  You know, because they care so much about health and nutrition!  So this means Ronald Mc-fucking-Donald is going to be shaping their government’s stance on what constitutes a healthy meal–greasy, fatty meat will soon be considered to be just as good for you as an apple.  I’ll bet they’re already doing the same here…

The Department of Health is putting the fast food companies McDonalds and KFC and processed food and drink manufacturers such as PepsiCo, Kelloggs, Unilever, Mars and Diageo at the heart of writing government policy on obesity, alcohol and diet-related disease, the Guardian has learned.

In an overhaul of public health, said by campaign groups to be the equivalent of handing smoking policy over to the tobacco industry, health secretary Andrew Lansley has set up five “responsibility deal” networks with business, co-chaired by ministers, to come up with policies. Some of these are expected to be used in the public health white paper due in the next month.

The groups are dominated by food and alcohol industry members, who have been invited to suggest measures to tackle public health crises. Working alongside them are public interest health and consumer groups including Which?, Cancer Research UK and the Faculty of Public Health. The alcohol responsibility deal network is chaired by the head of the lobby group the Wine and Spirit Trade Association. The food network to tackle diet and health problems includes processed food manufacturers, fast food companies, and Compass, the catering company famously pilloried by Jamie Oliver for its school menus of turkey twizzlers. The food deals sub-group on calories is chaired by PepsiCo, owner of Walkers crisps.

The leading supermarkets are an equally strong presence, while the responsibility deals physical activity group is chaired by the Fitness Industry Association, which is the lobby group for private gyms and personal trainers.

via The Guardian

Food-assisted suicide

 Unfuckingbelievable!
Oct 042010
 

Why am I not surprised that this shit-tastic restaurant resides in Arizona?  (Because Arizona has lost its tiny little mind the past couple of years, that’s why!)  And people wonder why healthcare costs are so high.  Jesus.

The menu includes unfiltered cigarettes and milkshakes reputed to have the highest fat content in the world, but burgers are the main attraction. They range from the Single through the Quadruple Bypass, based on the number of patties they contain, with two pieces of cheese for each patty, between buns shiny with lard. If you finish an 8,000-calorie Quadruple Bypass Burger, a fake nurse will push you by wheelchair all the way to your car. On a recent visit, Zach Fowle of the Phoenix New Times reported watching one customer eat two Quadruples. “The guy has the meat sweats and looks like he might spew at any minute. Its a good thing hes getting wheeled out, because it looks like he can barely walk,” Fowle observed. The burgers come with all-you-can-eat “Flatliner Fries,” which are cooked in lard and smothered with cheese and/or gravy.

In every fiber of its being (perhaps fiber is the wrong word), the Heart Attack Grill is a one-fingered salute to the health food movement. Thats the idea anyway, according to owner Jon Basso.

via AlterNet

Oh, and the restaurant owner sounds like a royal prick as well.  I think this guy actually wants to kill people.  He’d be proud of that.

“I view myself, not as an originator, but to have been the key driving force of this trend. The Heart Attack Grill hit with BIG international publicity in 2006 which gave other restaurateurs the courage to put something of gigantic proportions on their menus,” he told me via email.

Denny’s wants to stuff your arteries with sweet, sweet cheesefat

 Unfuckingbelievable!
Aug 112010
 

Continuing the new American trend of taking random menu items and sticking them between slices of bread to make a new kind of “sandwich”, here’s the latest threat to your arteries:  a fried cheese-stick sandwich.  I love how Gawker calls it “culinary terrorism.”  It’s not as horrific as cheesecake-injected pancakes from IHOP, but it’s a start.

Still hungry after last month’s 2,300-calorie Mac & Cheese Quesadilla and footlong cheeseburgers? Try the latest American chain restaurant abomination: Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt, in which deep-fried breaded cheese is embedded in more bread, more cheese, and fried again.

Friedcheesemelt

via gawker.com

Cheesecake-stuffed pancakes: heart attacks never tasted so good

 Unfuckingbelievable!
Apr 282010
 

Looks like IHOP is out to clog as many arteries as they can with their new cheesecake-stuffed pancakes.  And you know it’ll be a huge bestseller, ’cause Americans looooove their crapfood.

Apparently jealous of the attention KFC was getting with the Double Down, IHOP (or International House of Pancakes if you’re not into the whole brevity thing) has rolled out Pancake Stackers — a five-layer calorie bomb that dares to sandwich cheesecake between two pancakes.

via consumerist.com

I went to their website to see if they had an actual photo, and they do!  It’s even more disgusting than the photo on Consumerist.


Ronald and Mario…together at last.

 Geek Streak
Oct 192005
 

So McDonald’s is partnering with Nintendo to add wi-fi access to their restaurants, allowing Nintendo DS owners to play online with people all over the world.  My first reaction, being a new DS geek, was “Wow, that’s kinda cool!”  Then the realization hit me that this is McDonald’s we’re talking about.  The thought of having to go sit in those awful plastic chairs and smell bad food just to have some nerdy networked fun is beyond comprehension.  And what really makes my skin crawl is McDonald’s main goal:  to get kids to stay at McDonald’s and eat shitfood for hours on end.  It’s like Starbucks, without the coffee and laptops.  *shudder*

DumChums

 Fun Stuff
Sep 072005
 

I recently got an email from reader Stephen Locking which alerted me to the YumChums website, a horrific marriage of fast food and kiddie cartoons.  It really is an absurd bit of entertainment if you have a few minutes to waste!  McDonald’s is really pushing this healthy kids stuff hard…  I had discovered the YumChums a while back when poking around on the McDonald’s UK Corporate Website, curious to see if it was playing the health-food card the way the U.S. site is. Click on KIDS ZONE and you’ll be transported to a nightmare land of a cartoon Ronald McDonald and his fast food friends, which all seem to have a “eat me” complex.  Oh, and it’s allllll about healthy eating and getting exercise…despite the fact that eating a 2000-calorie meal pretty much negates whatever exercise you got.  But have at it, kids!

Ronald’s McMakeover?

 Bullshit Detector, Fun Stuff
Jun 142005
 

The folks at McDonald’s are at it again, in another desperate attempt to polish their image as global pushers of McCrap.  This time they’re giving the clown a makeover, although I’m not sure if this is only for the UK market or if we’ll get to see such silliness here.  Personally I can’t wait to see Ronald being “sporty”!

Traditionally famous for his red hair and yellow jump suit, Ronald will be seen juggling fruit and snowboarding in a TV advert to be screened on Friday.

The leaner, more health-conscious Ronald will encourage children to get up and join him playing sports.

Images of hamburgers and fries, the food McDonald’s is best known for, will be noticeably absent from the campaign.

The most puke-inducing line from this story reads:  “Ronald McDonald, whose official title within the company is ‘chief happiness officer’, will also be seen riding a skateboard with a basketball star and kicking a football.”  Good God, I think I just wet my McPants!

One BBQ Burger, please…hold the brain.

 General Blatherings
May 252005
 

In a world where you can easily find free hardcore porn with just a little Googling or trolling thru Usenet, it’s amazes me that there are so many hard-up straight guys out there who are absolutely dying to gawk at Paris Hilton’s bikini boobs…enough to crash the Carl’s Jr. website, even.  Jesus!  Is this woman that hot? Somebody please explain to me why, why, why.  I mean, a Spicy Chicken Sandwich beats this nitwit in the breast department any day.  Zing!

CARPINTERIA, Calif. – May 23, 2005 – “Build it and they will come,” may have originally referred to the creation of a baseball diamond, but Carl’s Jr.(R) restaurants discovered Friday that it also applied to a swimsuit-clad, car-washing, burger-eating Paris Hilton web site.

On Thursday, Carl’s Jr. launched a special “mini” site touting the Paris Hilton Spicy BBQ Six Dollar Burger(TM) ad that had created a buzz weeks ago. Rumors abounded that the spot was “too hot” for network television. In truth, the ad began airing last Thursday, and a hotter internet-only version was posted on the mini site, www.spicyparis.com. Visitors flooded the site, which was unequipped to handle the unexpected traffic volume, and the host servers crashed at 1:14 p.m. Friday.

“It was a mixed blessing,” said Brad Haley, executive vice president of marketing for Carl’s Jr. “We wanted to create a Paris Hilton site that would attract visitors, and we certainly achieved that objective. Unfortunately, we just weren’t prepared for the influx of traffic, and disappointed a number of visitors. It turned out that Paris was too hot for our servers.”

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