Facebook child abuse campaign: critical update!!1!

 Bullshit Detector, General Blatherings
Dec 072010
 

Well, guess what?  It looks like there is now some question as to whether or not that stupid Facebook anti-child-abuse campaign was even legit.  Hah, I knew it.  And guess what?  Now some people are posting this:  ”Change your profile picture back!  This cartoon character thing was organized by pedophiles so they could find children to stalk!”  Oh, for fuck’s sake…make up your mind already.  Personally I think they were both hoaxes and people bought into them without much thought.

Next week:  update your status in binary to fight hunger!
01001001011101000010011101110011001000
00011000100111010101101100011011000111
001101101000011010010111010000100001!!

The messages themselves read something like, “In support of anti-child violence, change your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood. Until Monday Dec. 6, there should be no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories. Join the fight against CHILD ABUSE. Invite your friends to do the same.”

The catch is that nobody can really seem to pinpoint the origin of the campaign and that no non-profit organization is laying claim to the movement itself.

Now it appears that there is a counter-movement afoot attempting to stop the cartoon characters in their animated tracks.  The new messages that have started to appear claim, “ATTENTION! Just reported that the group that started the post about changing your profile picture to a cartoon character is actually a pedophiles group that is doing this because its easier to get accepted friend requests! Please re-post.”

via Famecrawler

Child abuse ends worldwide thanks to Facebook user photo campaign

 Bullshit Detector, General Blatherings
Dec 052010
 

Well fuck me in both ears, this is fantastic news!  The scourge of child abuse has officially ENDED across the globe, thanks to thousands of people on Facebook who chose to change their profile pictures.  That’s all it took, honestly!  Battered children everywhere are now heaving sighs of relief knowing that peace has come to them at last.  Thanks, Facebook status updates!

This is one of those things about Facebook that drives me crazy.  Seems like every week there’s some new trend where people are asked to change their status to something in support of some cause.  ”I support putting an end to the barbaric act of nipple-piercings on orangutans.  Post this on your Facebook status to pass it on!”  It’s like some weird, mutated version of the classic chain letter, especially when they try and guilt you into doing it by adding “96% of people won’t post this, will you??”  My immediate reaction to this is, “Sorry, I won’t be guilted into posting this crap on my profile, even when you quote phony percentages that someone just pulled out of their ass.”

It gets even more annoying, however, when they want you to update your status and change your profile photo.  The latest example is probably the most absurd.  Quoted from one of the dozen (at least) FB friends of mine who went along with this:

So let me get this straight:  by changing my FB photo to a cartoon character from my childhood, I’m somehow magically fighting child abuse?  Are they actually saying this, and are people really doing it?  You bet your ass they are, because at least once a day I see something like this pop up on my feed:

This is what we’ve been reduced to when it comes to supporting a cause:  making a minor update on our Facebook accounts.  It’s so typically American, too–what better (and more convenient for me) way to end AIDS, hunger, or poverty than by tapping a few buttons on a phone/keyboard/screen and changing a superficial element on a social network?  It’s so simple!  You don’t even have to get actually involved in any way, just pick out a cute cartoon character and make it your profile picture and you’re FIGHTING CHILD ABUSE!  Yay for us!

Except, of course, kids are still being beaten and killed by drunk, negligent, ignorant, and  just plain evil people.  Your profile update, sadly, didn’t magically donate money to an organization which fights this sort of thing.  It didn’t help educate, pay medical bills, provide refuge, or fill a hungry belly.  It didn’t do a goddamned thing but make you feel better, in a very public way, about not actually doing anything.  These are simply social games cooked up to make people feel good about themselves, simple as that–and zillions of well-meaning people fall in line and do it every time a new one rolls around.  It’s the same thing with the magnetic ribbon industry:  people think that by slapping a ribbon on their car they’re somehow taking part in a cause, when in reality they just gave $10 to a company that specializes in magnetic ribbons.

“But what about raising awareness, huh?  What about that, you uncaring asshole?  People need to be aware of child abuse!!”  Well, no shit.  We’re all aware that child abuse happens, we don’t need Facebook to tell us that.  But if you’re really that passionate about something, maybe you should do more than follow the FB trend-herd.  The least you can do is donate some money to a local charity or something, not just update your status and forget about it.  Christ!

Now that’s what I call a “happy medium”

 General Blatherings
May 172010
 

This moron blows $150K on a psychic before suspecting fraud?  Sorry, but I think some people deserve to be ripped off.  Dear Baby Jesus, don’t let this man breed.

This, folks, is why I often think our species is circling the drain.  An evolutionary cul-de-sac, as George Carlin puts it.

A man in Portland, Oregon says he’s now bankrupt after giving cash, a Hummer, and lots of trust to a local psychic. In all, he says his payments totaled $150k and now he’s bankrupt, and that he wants to warn others not to fall for such things. So just to be clear: don’t give $150,000 in cash and autos to a psychic in exchange for removal-of-demon services. And if you want to buy a tabernacle from the Vatican, deal with the church yourself and don’t go through the local psychic.

via consumerist.com

The fauxmeless don’t need your help.

 General Blatherings
Apr 282008
 

I was deee-lighted to see a story yesterday about some homeless girl in Utah who has turned panhandling into a living, even though she’s not really homeless.  Apparently a T.V. crew secretly followed her around for a couple of weeks and then confronted her with some tough questions about what she was doing.  She didn’t have any good answers.  Then they went to her house and spoke to her parents!  Whoops.  So why did I take so much glee in this story?

When I moved to Seattle I noticed a lot of twentysomethings skanking around Capitol Hill and the U District asking for money.  They’re usually hipster types dressed in shabby, dingy pseudo-punk clothing, pierced and dyed, and holding signs explaining their terrible predicament.  A lot of times they’ve got their crap spread out all over the sidewalk (backpack, blanket, dog, walking stick, whatever).  They pretend to be friendly, loudly asking for change or leftovers as you walk by, but usually they’ll say obnoxious things if you just walk on by.  Sometimes their signs are cutesy:  “Need money for tampons, please help” or “Let’s be honest, I just need beer money.”  Ho-ho, so clever!  And yet, their dogs are always well-fed and they somehow manage to have enough money for smokes.  Hmmmm.

Of course, I don’t believe for a minute that these people are actually homeless.  If you’re in the neighborhood enough, you’ll see them get up at the end of the day and drive off.  Or you’ll see them chatting on their cellphones, not even bothering to hide it.  They’re far too casual about their fakery for anyone to take it seriously, and yet I always see some schmuck give them money or leftover food as they pass by!  Jesus, how gullible are you people?

At some point I began to refer to these assholes as the “faux homeless”, later shortened to “fauxmeless” (though it doesn’t sound quite right when you say it aloud.)  I can’t say exactly why they do it–maybe they think it’s “ironic” or humorous, or maybe they’re just too bored and lazy to actually, you know, work for a living like everyone else.  No, that’s not ironic enough.  One thing’s for sure:  they know it’s easy to play up the homeless thing, and if people are stupid enough to give them money, they can practically live on it.  And many do.

I tried to explain about the fauxmeless once at a party.  Somehow I had gotten myself surrounded by severe, militant lesbians and they had very obvious expressions of doubt and disgust on their faces–they didn’t believe that anyone would ever pretend to be homeless just to get handouts.  Pshaw!  Ridiculous!  Only  a heartless Republican MAN would say such a thing!  Seriously, this is the attitude I got.  I told them about all the times I’ve seen these people on their phones or driving away in their cars, and they just rolled their eyes.  I even told them about reading local police reports about fauxmeless people being arrested for panhandling and being sent back to their homes in good neighborhoods.  Nothing.  The lesbians weren’t having any of it.  Why was it so hard to believe?  Was the presence of my penis affecting my credibility?  Then again, maybe I wasn’t explaining it very well because the brownie had chosen that exact time to kick in and my head was suddenly full of wool.  But still! (For the record, I do have two very close friends who are lesbians and they don’t think I’m crazy.)

I’m a very liberal guy, but I know that all this makes me sound like a stuffy old coot.  “Get a job, hippy!”  But I don’t care.  These fakers are sucking help away from real homeless people who don’t have cars and cellphones and a place to live.  Those people don’t have to fake anything.  And this isn’t confined to young hipsters, either…there are professional panhandlers everywhere and they are very convincing.  Maybe some really need help, but how can you tell?  It’s a shame because they’re muddying the waters for those who are willing to help a person in need but can’t trust that it’s really needed.  (Yes, I do need to know the difference.)

Anyway, that’s why the story about the Utah girl was so delicious.  Sweet, sweet vindication…for me and my penis.

Check those phone bills

 Marketing Scumbags, Unfuckingbelievable!
Jan 152007
 

The other night I was wondering why our phone bill is so damned much.  I mean, $160 for two cell phones?  What gives?  We signed up for a joint account to save money.  Well, after looking it over I discovered that we had a mysterious charge tacked onto the very end of the bill under DirectBill Download Detail.  It was for something called BlueFrog purchased via a merchant called Mblox.  Wha…?

BlueFrog sounded familiar, though, so I did some Googling.  Sure enough, these are the scumbags who coaxed zillions of people in the UK into downloading that horrifically asinine “Crazy Frog” ringtone.  These people later found that they had been subscribed to an expensive monthly service.  The way they were “informed” about the subscription was apparently with quickly-scrolling text on their tiny phone screens while the idiotic Crazy Frog danced around as a distraction.  Gotta love those marketing asshats.  So I began looking at my past bills, and here’s what I found.

September’s bill:   One of us purchased a ringtone.  Nothing unusual about that…

October’s bill.  What’s this?  A $30 subscription to something called Mblox.   What’s that?  Good question.  There’s no way in hell either of us would have agreed to something like this had we known about it.

November’s bill.  WTF?  The charge is still there!

And here we are in December, with yet another charge…but suddenly it says BlueFrog instead of Mblox in the description.

So basically we’ve been getting bilked for $30 for the last three months and had no idea!  And please…before anyone lectures me on reading my phone bill (you know who you are), let me say that it’s something I normally do.  But now we’ve got a joint account, which means two phones and a phone bill twice as long to look at.  And anyone who’s seen Cingular’s phone bills can tell you that they’re not so easy to decipher.  This particular item was the very last item on the last page of his part of the bill, very easy to miss.  Obviously there are many other things we’d rather be doing than auditing everything Cingular puts on our bills every months, but it looks like we’ll have to start.

So in order to get detailed information on these “direct bill” items, you have to sign up for a whole new online account.  Because, you know, providing this information on Cingular’s website under my Account screen would be far too convenient and might cause me to catch stuff like this more often.  You can’t even see this on the Account Summary, you have to click Show Full Bill and scroll all the way to the bottom.  Shady.  Anyway I finally got logged into this new, unnecessary account and found that not only had the charges been going on since October, but each one says “Do not renew on…”  And yet each one did renew.  Bastards.

I did attempt to get a refund using the Cingular site, but it was immediately denied…as if nobody even considered them.  I really don’t want to have to call, but I may have to.  I also left a note on the Mblox website requesting refunds for October and November, so maybe they will respond.  I’ll keep y’all posted.

In the meantime, if you ever purchase games or ringtones, CHECK YOUR BILL NOW.  Look for anything that says BlueFrog, Mblox, Jamster, M-Qube, or anything else you can’t identify.  These are scams…you’ll find a wealth of info on Jamster Scam, the website where I finally found out what’s really going on.  I can hardly believe it’s legal for cell companies to allow this, but apparently they all do.

Stupid spam of the day

 Fun Stuff
Dec 202006
 

Guess what today’s theme is?  And yet I can totally see someone falling for this kind of moronic scam.  It happens all the time, sadly.

from: Rose Martins
date: Dec 20, 2006 1:35 AM
subject: Beloved In Christ

Greetings in name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Mrs Rose Martins Toyo,69 years old widow & a new Christian convert,suffering from long time cancer of the blood (Leukaemia According to my doctor my condition is critical and I might not survive.  Although as a christian,I beleive God and I know that I will not die,but will live to declare the glory of God.  My late husband (Dr.Martins Hugo Toyo )and my only son were killed during the (ABIDJAN- BOUAKE)b Crisis some years back(take a look)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3993265.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3995429.stm

Our Lord Jesus Christ is my only comforter.  I have the sum of Five million,One hundred thousand US Dollars($5.1m) The fund is presently deposited with a financial company for security reasons and all the documents concerning the fund are in the custody of my lawyer.  I inherited the money from my late husband who was an industralist and international businessman.

I have prayed concerning this donation for God’s guidance and if in your heart you geniunely and faithfully desire-to use this fund for the propagation of God’s work in any form whether for charity, ministry, evangelical work or otherwise in relation to God’swork, do get in -touch with me for further arrangements with my lawyer on how you will receive my Charity donation. God bless you once again and as you receive,give and give God all the Glory.

Remain blessed in the Lord
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Rose Martins Toyo
DIVINE CALL

Would you like fries with that virus?

 Geek Streak
Oct 172006
 

Seems that McDonald’s cares so much about their Japanese customers that they’re giving a free password-stealing trojan virus to those lucky enough to get one of their free promotional MP3 players.  Gee, now you can clog your arteries and your PC at the same time!

God, I love it when McDonald’s fucks up.  Almost as much as when Disney does it.

“Please swipe card for entry into Heaven.”

 Holy Shit! (Religion)
Oct 052006
 

Those wacky religious nutballs are at it again, finding yet another way to use technology to replace the spiritual search.  This time they’ve come up with an ATM for Jesus, where you can swipe your card and have church donations lifted directly from your account.  And, as usual, there’s a tidy profit to be made:

The Bakers charge between $2,000 and $5,000 for the kiosks, which come in a variety of configurations.  They also collect a monthly subscription fee of up to $49.95 for licensing and support.  And a card-processing company gets 1.9% of each transaction; a small cut of that fee goes to SecureGive.

Pretty lucrative bidness ya got there, hmmm?  What I’d like to see are ATMs set up where you can donate to the charity of your choice.  No fees, no companies skimming money off the top–just swipe your card, enter your PIN, select your charity, and enter an amount.  The money from that ATM might actually get to where it’s needed…

Thursday quickies

 General Blatherings
Jul 202006
 
  • This could be fun: US Airways is going to start placing advertisements on its barf-bags.  But why stop there?  Why not put the ads IN the bags?  Hell, if I was the type to get airsick I would love to hwarf all over AOL, Budget Rent-A-Car, or Martha Stewart’s smiling face.
  • Wondering if it’s OK to smack your child?  Have no fear, the Kiwi Christians are saying that it’s not only the right(eous) thing to do, but it’s also fun.  So go ahead, give that little punk a little taste of God’s wrath.
  • A very naughty banner ad on MySpace has managed to install spyware on over one million computers.  Oh, no!  Won’t someone please think of the children!  And the pedophiles!

Chillin’ with Xenu

 Unfuckingbelievable!
May 022006
 

Critter recently pointed me to Rolling Stone’s mind-boggling exploration of Scientology, and I have to admit that I’m stunned.  I’ve read many stories about this cult in the past (TIME Magazine’s “Cult of Greed” was a good one, as well as anything at Operation Clambake), but this one is one of the best and most detailed yet…it’s an absolutely fascinating (and horrifying) read.  It’s also a long one, so you might want to print it out first, but trust me…it’s worth the time.  With all the information available online about Scientology, I simply can’t believe that someone can read it all and still think that Scientology is anything but a big fat scam.  Assuming they read it at all, that is.

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