Apologies in advance for the contempt-fueled gloating this post is sure to contain.  Rest assured that it’s all written in the spirit of coming together and building a brighter future for America and all that shit.

Well, it’s over!  And, unbelievably, the sane choice won.  I was pretty sure he would, but I also had a lot of doubt kicking around in my head.  It’s hard to trust the American public to do the right thing after what they did the last two times, y’know?

So how do I feel?  Relieved.  Confident.  Impressed.  And smug?  Oh, you betcha.  We lefties haven’t had much to be smug or confident about these past eight years, watching helplessly as pigfuckers like Bush and Cheney shat all over America in a haze of corporate-fed megalomania.  (Somewhat assisted by the pussified Democrats, let’s not forget that.)  They made me embarrassed and ashamed of my country and its “leaders.”

Last night’s election was surreal–here in Seattle, parties broke out all over town.  People in our neighborhood were setting off fireworks (some of them in our yard, to our mild annoyance).  But people were outright jubilant, and isn’t it about time America had something to feel that way about?  Also, because Republicans typically don’t think the opinions of non-Americans matter, the overwhelmingly positive reaction to this election by the rest of the world was refreshing to see.

Of course, our jubilance is mirrored by panic and dread in said Republicans.  You can see it in the papers, on the T.V., and in the blogs:  right-wingers are terrified.  Scared shitless.  And because I crave this sort of entertainment, I poked around on the Fox News Forums this morning to see what people were saying.  The comments were a hilarious soup of hysteria and despair, all a result of Fox/Limbaugh/Hannity programming.  Here are three out of hundreds:

Comment by T. Lee Mac: November 5th, 2008 at 8:50 am
…Today we embrace communism, and there is nothing to be thankful for.  America has forsaken her God and now He has returned the favor. Alas, Jeremiah Wright has gotten his wish.  America’s light is dimmed, her heart is doomed, her soul is dam*ed.  She has been given over to her enemies to be tortured, raped and abused.  Barack Obama has set his heart upon America’s destruction and he has the wherewithal in congress to unleash his reign of terror upon the people of this formerly great nation.  There is no help, no remedy, no place of comfort, indeed, no hope.  God has turned his back and pronounced judgement.  There was not found even ten righteous, that he should stay his judgement for their sakes.  We have no place to run for refuge.  This is the saddest day in American history.

Didja notice how he couldn’t bring himself to even type the word “damned” so he used “dam*ed” instead?  Isn’t that precious?  Never in my life have I seen someone actually type that.  It’s fascinating.

Comment by AJ:  November 4th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I think a lot of liberals fail to realize that with Barack Obama as president how much of the world is sitting and laughing at us.  We have fought terrorism and radical Muslims for 8 years now and now we have successfully elected one into office, Democrats and liberals need to look in the mirror and attempt to see how hypocritical they have become.

Oh my.  “Socialism!  Communism!  Black people in power!  A Muslim!  A terrorist!  Givin’ mah moneh to people who don’t wanna work!  Get yer guns ready ’cause the end is near!!”  This is how these people think.  I should know–I grew up in small-town Arizona, then lived in Phoenix for 10 long years.  This sort of attitude was the norm for 90% of the people around me.  (And due to my complete ignorance of everything way back in my college days, I actually thought I was conservative for a time.  God, I hate admitting that.  But eventually I reached the Age of Reason, so it all worked out I guess.  MOVING ON…..)

Speaking of Phoenix, I also visited the website for The Arizona Republic, published in McCain’s home territory, and found a delicious story about how his supporters reacted to the news that their super-duper-war-hero-maverick failed miserably:

One supporter muttered, “I’m feeling like doom is coming.”

Before McCain took the stage, Nathaniel Eyler, 29, of Phoenix, mouthed the words as the song “God Bless the USA” played.  “Scared,” he said in response to how he felt about the outcome, calling Obama a “socialist.”   “I’m not going to sugarcoat it.  I’m scared.  Just the idea of Barack Obama as president of the United States scares me.  It does not embody the idealism I grew up with and am passionate about.”

Molly Pinckney, 60, of Phoenix stood frowning, the red pom pom she earlier had waved tucked by her side.  “I’m really sad.  I’m sad for our country.”

I absolutely love the thought of this old woman (probably wearing polyester track pants, white tennis shoes and a golf visor) standing there with arms crossed and pom-poms hanging limply from her hands.  Oh, for a photo of that!

Now, I don’t like being petty.  Really, I don’t.  If I were petty, to this woman I might say, “Good.  I’m glad you’re scared.  I hope you’re sad and losing sleep over this.  I want you to feel that ball of despair deep in your gut, because that’s how everyone else has felt for the past eight years while watching your criminal Republican asshats fuck this country into the ground and turn it into a global embarrassment.  So climb up into your SUV and head back to your Scottsdale estate, you ignorant, pom-pom-waving twat.”  But thankfully I’m not that petty, so I’ll just keep those thoughts to myself, thank you.

Arizona also voted to change their state constitution to ban same-sex marriages, which is apparently another hot-button topic, as gleaned from the Arizona Republic forums:

Paul81 – All you crybabies can and will moan and groan, making mountains out of mole hills.  All the proposition says is that the sanctity of marriage be limited to the union long ago established by God, who instituted marriage, that of one man and one woman.
It takes away nothing from homosexual unions, who already have many rights associated with marriage, except the right to marry.  This is as it should be.  The sanctity of marriage, as instituted by almighty God, stands, as it should.

TempeRon
Anyone who truly believes in God and in His Word knows this was the right decision.  Satan will stop at nothing to pull the family apart because the family is at the heart of God’s eternal plan of salvation.

Thankfully, many people supporting gay marriage are valiantly posting replies to this sort of drivel, but it won’t change any of these ignorant redneck minds.  They think they’re taking orders from God, the poor simian fools.

So despite the stupider laws being passed, like the gay marriage bans in AZ and CA, I’m actually feeling some optimism again.  I’ve almost forgotten what that feels like.  It’s kinda nice.  But it’s a cautious optimism, because so much can still go wrong.

In the end, it all boils down to this:  we can hope and dream (and gloat) all we want, but Obama’s going to have to prove himself before we can call him a great President.  Republicans will block him at every turn, naturally, and he’s inherited a horrific mess at the hands of the current criminals in office, but somehow he’s gotta do something good for this country and sustain the hope he’s generated with his campaign.  I really hope he doesn’t screw this up.  Not only for the country’s sake, but I also don’t wanna have to come back here four years down the road and eat a buncha crow.

That’s it, I’m all out of vitriol for now…

Oh, wait.  What about McCain’s kneebiter of a VP?  I knicked this from Daily Kos because it’s the perfect ending to this particular fairly tale.  Here’s winkin’ at ya, Sarah!