From Birthers to Flat-Earthers: Conservatards Continue their De-Evolutuion

 Holy Shit! (Religion), Idiots & Assholes (Politics)
Mar 312012
 

A recent study shows that conservatives have increasingly lost faith in science since the 70′s.  Ha!  No shit, right?  But how can you “lose faith” in science when it doesn’t even require faith in order to see it in action?  Science simply is, whether you believe in it or not, and it evolves along with our understanding of how the universe works.

And that’s the beauty of science.  We’re all trying to make sense of ourselves and this world we’re in–some choose to believe in myths and mystical tales of invisible beings who created the world and control everything in it, and others would rather find answers through testing and experimentation, facts and evidence.

If it weren’t for science, we’d all think the world rides through space on the back of a giant turtle or something.  I’m not kidding–these science deniers would trap our civilization’s intellectual progress in the stone age if they could get away with it.  Fucking morons.

Believe in whatever otherworldly beings you want, but don’t deny testable, verifiable evidence when it’s presented to you.  I’m not just talking about global warming–I mean anything that may threaten your mystical “explanations” of how things work.

A study released Thursday in the American Sociological Review concludes that trust in science among conservatives and frequent churchgoers has declined precipitously since 1974, when a national survey first asked people how much confidence they had in the scientific community. At that time, conservatives had the highest level of trust in scientists.

Confidence in scientists has declined the most among the most educated conservatives, the peer-reviewed research paper found, concluding: “These results are quite profound because they imply that conservative discontent with science was not attributable to the uneducated but to rising distrust among educated conservatives.”

via McClatchy

Sheriff Arpaio: America’s defense against fake birth certificate fakers

 Idiots & Assholes (Politics), Unfuckingbelievable!
Mar 012012
 

Arizona’s batshit-crazy sheriff, a megalomaniacal  master of racial, political, and sexist asshattery, is still suckling desperately at the withered teats of the “OMG OBAMA’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS LIKE FAKE AND STUFF OMG!” cow.  Jesus effing Christ on a cracker–somebody commit this asshole to an institution before he hurts himself!

America’s self-proclaimed toughest sheriff finds himself entangled these days in his own thorny legal troubles: a federal grand jury probe over alleged abuse of power, Justice Department accusations of racial profiling and revelations that his department didn’t adequately investigate hundreds of Arizona sex-crime cases.

Rather than seek cover, though, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is seeking to grab the spotlight in the same unorthodox fashion that has helped boost his career as a nationally known lawman.

Arpaio on Thursday unveiled preliminary results of an investigation, conducted by members of his volunteer cold-case posse, into the authenticity of President Barack Obama’s birth certificate, a controversy that has been widely debunked but which remains alive in the eyes of some conservatives.

And, of course, the right wing loooooves him.  They can’t get enough of him…that’s why they keep electing him sheriff in Arizona so he can continue his rampaging abuse of power and wastes of tax money like these “special projects.”

GOP presidential candidates have courted him for his endorsement throughout the primary season. At last week’s GOP presidential debate in Arizona, Arpaio won loud cheers. During a question about Arizona’s border woes, Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum said the government ought to give local police agencies the chance to enforce immigration law as Arpaio has.

via azcentral.com

To a moron in Boise, “Portlandia” is a “minstrel show”

 General Blatherings
Jan 222012
 

Wow. This guy rrreeeaaaallllyyy needs to pull that corn cob out of his ass and get a sense of humor.  I never feel that this show encourages us to hate the stereotypes they poke fun of…they’re just taking it to a new level of absurdity.  Does he also think the hundreds of mindless sitcoms about fat, stupid husbands with smart, hot wives are also “minstrel shows?”

Oh, not to mention that comparing hipster humor to racism is beyond idiotic.  What a tool this guy is.

The sketch-comedy series from SNL alum Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein, former guitarist for Sleater-Kinney, chronicles the misadventures of artistic oddballs and the uber-politically correct as they play adult hide and seek, go dumpster diving and “put a bird on it.” Sketches feature characters like angry bikers and ultra-sensitive couples as they insist on ordering only local food from menus.

The problem is that much of the humor functions with a structure similar to racist jokes, in which viewers are encouraged to despise the characters. But unlike the sorts of characters written for SNL, Portlandia’s are not based off personal quirks like attaching the suffix “idge” to everything but off of cultural stereotypes. These sketches are the white subcultural equivalent of a minstrel show, that while perhaps intended as a charming homage to oddballs, has in fact drummed up a sentiment best summarized as “it’s about damned time someone put those weirdos in their place.”

via Boise Weekly

The Rapture: Take 2

 Holy Shit! (Religion)
Oct 202011
 

Here we go again.  Not being content with being proven OH SO FUCKING EMBARRASSINGLY WRONG last May 21 when his Rapture prediction went completely limp, this crazy old coot is back once again saying the new Rapture is…tomorrow.  (If you’re reading this, you weren’t taken up to Heaven.  Sorry.  And congratulations.)

Have you noticed a slight crispness in the atmosphere recently? A chilling edge to the breeze, a dry clarity to the air, a new rattle in the trees? It’s fall, right? No! It’s actually the looming apocalypse, which comes tomorrow, according to professional rapture-predictor Harold Camping.

Well, “probably” comes tomorrow. Camping, who could not possibly look any more like you expect him to, predicted that the world would end on May 21—and launched a media blitz announcing the date—only to find, as you have likely noticed, that the world kept on turning. Undaunted, the host of Family Radio, now residing in a nursing home, announced that, actually, October 21 is the Rapture.

via Gawker

Heterosexual? Suffering under the iron fist of The Gay? Time to get your own parade!

 Heterosexually Challenged
Aug 142011
 

Holy shit.  Is Brazil about to have a Straight Pride Day?  They’ve got to be fucking kidding.  And check out the below quote from the idiot trying to get this thing put into law, he sounds like a real piece of work.  ”A protest against the privileges the gay community enjoys”, eh?  Oh!  Do you mean, as Gawker points out, the 250+ people killed in Brazil last year for being gay?  This fucktard is right up there with the ones who like to wear “Proud to be straight!” t-shirts and then wonder why people start heckling them.  They simply don’t get it.

I’d like to see some large city pass this law here in America, as it would be vastly entertaining to see their lame-o parade slinking down the street:  a sea of popped-collar douchebags with their skanky girlfriends, stuffy old farts who have never even met a gay person, repressed whitebread families carrying Bibles and signs quoting scripture, and a few high profile anti-gay politicians who picked up young boys on Craigslist only the night before.  Yep, sounds like a perfect hetero parade to me!

Sao Paulo’s mayor is reviewing the legislation, but hasn’t signed it into law. If passed, Heterosexual Pride Day will take place on a Sunday each December. The man behind the bill, Carlos Apolinario, told the AP that he doesn’t hate anyone, he just wants this day to be held as “a protest against the privileges the gay community enjoys,” of which there are many. Just ask the 260 gays who were murdered in Brazil last year for being gay.

“I have no trouble coexisting with gays as long as their behavior is normal,” Apolinario added.

via Gawker

Michele Bachmann: just another idiot “end-timer”

 Heterosexually Challenged, Holy Shit! (Religion)
Jul 192011
 

Not only does this bitch want to see all gays roasting in ovens, she’s one of those batshit-crazy Christians who thinks Jesus is in his car and driving over here this very minute.  Surprising?  Hardly.

You know what?  We’ve been in the “last days” for centuries now.  And it really means nothing, folks…not a goddamned thing.  Stop making fools of yourselves and wasting your lives expecting the world to end tomorrow.  It’s getting embarrassing.  (Though I must admit it’s often entertaining…)

As GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann R-MN surges in the polls, more information is coming to light about her past that reveal the depths of her political and religious extremism. The Bachmanns’ counseling clinic practices discredited and damaging ex-gay therapy to “cure” homosexuality.

Slate’s Dave Weigel has reported an audio recording of Bachmann praying for the notoriously anti-gay ministry You Can Run But You Can’t Hide, run by the radical preacher Bradlee Dean. Bachmann offered the prayer in 2006 though the recording was uploaded in 2008. In it, Bachmann predicts, “We are in the last days,” and says, “The harvest is at hand” — a Biblical allusion to the Rapture when some believe God will take saved Christians from the earth and leave the non-believers to face several years of torment and tribulation before the second coming of Christ

via ThinkProgress

Natural selection in action

 General Blatherings
Jul 042011
 

You know, maybe these people who say that mandatory helmet laws are “infringin’ on mah freedums” should be allowed to take the same chances that this guy did.  Just make ‘em sign a waiver saying the rest of society won’t have to pay for the cleanup and medical bills.  You know, just in case being a helmetless idiot doesn’t actually kill them.

Morons like this are always there to entertain us!

Philip A. Contos, 55, of 45 East St., Parish, was not wearing a helmet while driving a 1983 Harley Davidson motorcycle south on Route 11 in Onondaga with a large group of other motorcyclists, troopers said.

About 1:30 p.m., troopers said, Contos hit his brakes, the motorcycle fishtailed and went out of control and Contos went over the handlebars.

Contos was taken to Upstate University Hospital where he was pronounced dead, troopers said.

Evidence at the scene and information from the attending physician indicate Contos would have survived if he had been wearing a Department of Transportation approved helmet, troopers said.

The protest in which Contos was riding was organized by American Bikers Aimed Towards Education, Trooper Jack Keller said.

via syracuse.com

Trader Joe’s: Battleground of the Rich and Hungry

 General Blatherings, Unfuckingbelievable!
Jun 182011
 

What an embarrassment.  Fighting over a packet of frozen phad Thai at a fancy Trader Joe’s?  Stuff like this makes me wonder if our species is really meant to make it past the next 50 years or so.  Get some goddamn dignity, people, if you have any hope of keeping the human race from being squashed under the weight of our collective assholery!

A Manhattan judge yesterday took only 15 minutes to acquit opera singer Marcella Caprario of all charges in a wacky, diva-on-doctor slapdown over a frozen vegan pad-Thai dinner at a crowded Upper West Side Trader Joes.

The verdict, by Manhattan Criminal Court Judge ShawnDya Simpson, means prosecutors failed to prove the mezzo soprano intended to cause injury when she slapped family practitioner and TV talking head Dr. Catherine London in the face during an argument in the frozen-food aisle in January.

The frosty fracas — so New York-kooky that it was covered in both local and national media after The Post broke the story exclusively — was sparked when the doctors 13-year-old son got between Caprarios husband and the store-brand frozen vegan pad-Thai dinners, Caprarios favorite.

via NYPOST.com

Rapture-O-Rama

 Holy Shit! (Religion), Unfuckingbelievable!
May 232011
 

So the so-called Rapture predicted for May 21, 2011 came and went, and we’re all still here.  Everyone knew nothing would happen, of course.  Well, everyone except some hopelessly gullible Christians who literally believe anything they’re told.  How fucking stupid do you have to be to think you’ll be magically swept into the sky someday?  And not only that, but to believe some crazy old man’s prediction based on woo-woo numerology from the Bible–that speaks volumes about these idiots’ complete lack of common sense and critical thinking.  People tend to throw those right out the window when it comes to religion.

Just look at how he arrived at this magical Rapture date.  Does this look like it comes from a sane, rational mind?

  • The number five equals “atonement”, the number ten equals “completeness”, and the number seventeen equals “heaven”
  • Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years
  • If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar, as distinct from lunar, year), the result is 722,449
  • The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days
  • 51 added to 722,449 is 722,500
  • (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500

Yep, sounds like perfectly reasonable to me!  Nothing new-agey or mystical about that, nope.  “I know it’s absolutely true, because the Bible is always absolutely true,” he said.  Yeah, we can see that.  *snort*

One thing I noticed what that a lot of people were trying to cash in on the Rapture.  Most of it was fun and snark, but this site in particular challenges non-believers in a particularly profitable (for them) way.  And I don’t think they’re joking, though I do wish they’d learn to spell “judgment” correctly.

Challenge: Buy a “I Survived Judgement Day 2011? Shirt

Don’t think the world will end on May 21st? Are you sure that you will survive Judgement Day? Go ahead and shout it out to the world by buying the official “I Survived Judgement Day 2011? T-Shirt right now!

Prove that you’re Right!  Buy Now! On Sale for $20.40

Anyway, what’s the fallout?  Lots of disappointed idiots Christians wandering around wondering if the Rapture didn’t happen or if they were simply left behind.  Some great Rapture Bomb photos of empty clothes strewn about public places (mine is pictured here, in our San Francisco hotel room).  Plenty of sniggering and joking about the whole moronic thing, which it deserves.  But then there’s this:

Palmdale (KTLA) — A woman slit her daughters’ throats before slitting her own early Friday evening, claiming that “the Tribulation” was going to occur and she wanted to prevent them from suffering through it, officials said.

Lyn Benedetto, 47, reportedly told her daughters to lie on a bed and proceeded to take a knife to their throats.

The suspect then took the knife to her own throat before driving the victims to an unoccupied friend’s house to die.

via ktla.com

How depressing.  And what a comment on the power of religious hype!  I don’t think Harold Camping should be held directly responsible for this–she does have free will, after all–but he’s definitely the one who planted the seed which destroyed this woman and her family.  I don’t care if she was already a little crazy (which her friends don’t seem to think she was)–he said the Rapture was guaranteed to happen that day, he said there was no way it wouldn’t happen.  This poor woman believed his outrageous claims, and look at the mess we have now.  Sigh.

What a sick, fucked-up world we live in!  I want to laugh it off and treat it as entertainment, like so much other shit in the world deserves, but there’s something so wrong about all this that I’m having a hard time processing how stupid people are.  It shouldn’t be this way.

OMG RAPTURE IS NIGH OMG

 Bullshit Detector, Fun Stuff, Holy Shit! (Religion)
May 192011
 

Well it looks like we will be at a Kylie Minogue concert in San Francisco when the Rapture supposedly happens this Saturday.  Not such a bad way to end the world, is it?

Seriously, though.  This guy has actually convinced others that the Rapture will not only happen, but it will be on a specific day.  Such sad, deluded people.

A preacher from Oakland, California, has warned that the end of the world is nigh – 21st May 2011, to be precise.

At about 6pm, Harold Camping reckons 2 per cent of the world’s population will be immediately “raptured” to Heaven; the rest of us will get sent straight to the Other Place.

Everyday, Camping, an 89-year-old former civil engineer, spreads his Doomsday predictions via the Family Radio Network, a religious broadcasting organisation funded entirely by donations from listeners.

“It’s getting real close. It’s really getting pretty awesome, when you think about it,” the Independent quoted Camping as saying.

via sify.com

 Older Entries