This is so completely absurd that I almost don’t know how to react. Almost.
There’s a website called Vigilant Citizen whose author is convinced that Lady Gaga is an evil agent of a shadowy secret society which is using mind control to shape the thoughts and actions of our precious, precious children. All this is done through her music videos, of course. Wow, it’s so simple, right? The author says, “Look! She’s making the A-OK sign! That’s a symbol of the ILLUMINATI! And looky there, she’s covering one eye! That’s another sign of the ILLUMINATI! On this video she’s doing this and that, and on this frame of that video you can CLEARLY see that other thing! Those are all MORE SIGNS OF THE ILLUMINATI CONTROL OF THE WORLD OMG!” Christ. On. A. Cracker.
Here are some of my favorite bits from his shot-by-shot dissection of her “Telephone” video. And these don’t even begin to scratch the surface of the crazy…the reader comments are chock-full of nutty goodness.
In the prison yard, Gaga walks around chained up and wearing sunglasses made of lit cigarettes. Do the cigarettes covering her eyes represent her blindness to her highly toxic life as a mind controlled drone?
No, it’s a joke on staying high-fashion while in prison. Didn’t you see her using Coke cans as hair curlers in a different scene? Maybe you would have noticed this if you hadn’t been freeze-framing the entire video looking for hidden messages from our secret mind-controlling overlords. (Then again, in the comments someone points out that the Coke cans contain aspartame which lowers the I.Q., which makes it the perfect mind-control drug. Bloody hell.)
Gaga is then bailed out by Beyoncé and leaves prison. Inside the car, Gaga and Beyoncé engage into a highly dissociative conversation. It basically sounds like dialogue between two mind-controlled slaves. The phrase “Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it’s broke but you can still see the crack in the motherfucker’s reflection” can refer to a cheating boyfriend and can also refer to the permanent damage caused by the fragmenting of one’s personality in mind control.
What about the other thing she says: “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger”? Is that a hidden message meant to brainwash young kids into eating at McDonald’s? Or perhaps it’s a reference to the Discordian Sacred Chao? I knew it!!
You might have noticed the emphasis on “bees” and “honey” during the entire video. Gaga calls Beyoncé “Honey Bee”. She also serves poisoned honey to the diner’s customers. What does this signify? Beyoncé and Gaga’s poisonous honey is actually their music and videos, which are served to the general public through mass media. You can figure out the rest.
Oh yes, I can definitely figure out the rest. You’re really stretching here, dude. Seriously. You’re trying way too hard. This stuff isn’t that deep. You can take any frame from any music video and find whatever mystic/occult/Masonic/Illuminati symbol you want. Just make shit up and people will nod and say, “Wow, you’re SO right! How did I not see that before? What excellent research!”
What I want to know is: if the Illuminati really is broadcasting messages via Lady Gaga music videos…what’s the point? Just a wink and a nudge to those “in the know”? What kind of secret society goes to such great lengths to put symbols in our faces for only a tiny fraction of people to recognize, are they just trying to say “Hi, we’re still here pulling the strings”? I don’t get it. The people debating this stuff are also discussing mind-control symbols in cartoons like “Daria”, so a HUGE grain of salt is needed here.
Look, I know it’s fun to believe that there might be some conspiracy out there shaping the fate of the people in some way. It’s fun to think about secret societies, arcane symbols, esoteric beliefs, and what have you. When I was in my early 20′s I loved reading about that kind of thing. Here, let me throw out some keywords to give you an idea: Robert Anton Wilson, Art Bell, Alternative 3, FEMA camps, Richard Hoagland, Mars face, Jesus bloodline, faked Moon landing, HIV doesn’t cause AIDS…and much more. All this was fed by a steady diet of late-night talk radio, online conspiracy forums, self-published books by people who claimed to know The Truth, and just plain boredom. No, I didn’t believe 100% of it, but the possibility of some of it being true was fascinating. Eventually, however, I sharpened my critical thinking skills and grew out of it. I still find it mildly interesting, and I’ll admit it’s not impossible that certain conspiracies might exist, because I certainly don’t know everything. But really — using Lady Gaga to induce mind control of the population? Are you fucking kidding me?
These people think they see hidden strings and the hand of secret societies in every single thing they look at. How do they sleep at night?