Ann Coulter: Sucker of Satan’s Cock

 General Blatherings
Oct 252012
 

(Posted a week late due to network issues)

I bestow this title upon her after her latest stunt of declaring National Disown Your Son Day shortly after National Coming Out Day. Ho-ho, so clever, Ann! You and your Adam’s apple have really struck conservative fucktard gold with that one. Congrats.

Sorry, is that title too harsh? It’s true, though. I’ve seen the pictures. It ain’t pretty. But she’s earned that title with the vast amount of hateful bile she’s spat at gay folks and liberals in general over the years. If Satan were real, you just know that, spiritually speaking, she’d be servicing Satan’s seven schlongs two or three at a time, gobblin’ like there’s no tomorrow. I’d actually feel sad for her if I didn’t think she’d kick me down a flight of stairs for loving another man.

Yesterday, she took to Twitter in response to last Thursday being National Coming Out Day. That really has to get under the skin of people like Coulter, all those gay people making their existence known. So Coulter, the darling of the gay right (GOProud called her “the right-wing Judy Garland”), vented via tweet, declaring that, since gay youth came out last Thursday, yesterday was “national ‘disown your son’ day.”


Get it? Get it?? Because so many LGBT youth are disowned by their families after coming out! Hardy har har har! Isn’t that hi-freaking-larious!?

via Daily Kos

Anal tattoos: the hot new thing for trendy assholes

 Fun Stuff
Aug 142012
 

Seriously.

As you can see in the video, expo celebrity psychic Jill Dahne claims through her sooth-saying powers that the asshole tat is going to be the next big thing.

So you may want to get a jump on it and get on this trend before all your friends do. So you can be all, “I got an asshole tattoo before it was cool, bro.”

And, according to the girl getting her own tattoo in the video, having a needle jabbing your rectum over and over again feels REALLY, REALLY GOOD!

via The Daily Pulp

Yeah, well…I’m having my entire colon tattooed.  I’m thinking maybe Celtic knotwork, or perhaps a unicorn and rainbow.  How about My Little Pony?  That would be sooooo cute!

Q & A with a refugee from the Westboro Baptist Church

 Heterosexually Challenged, Holy Shit! (Religion)
Jul 232012
 

Want to read an interview with an actual Phelps, ex-member of the batshit-crazy Westboro Baptist Church?  It’s fascinating and really drives home what neanderthals these people are.

Q: I remember reading somewhere that your father treated your mom like trash. Can you give examples if what he did to her and if that played a part in you leaving?

A: He pulled her arm out of the socket. He beat her with his fists, his feet and a mattock handle. He cut all her hair off, down to where her scalp showed through because she wasnt in subjection. He screamed and threw things like a child having a temper tantrum.

Imagine that as the image you have of the person who defines your world and how safe you feel in it. I dont mean to get melodramatic, but I only have so much time and opportunity to impress the reality of the situation on you.

via topiama.com

40% of homeless youth are LGBT because their families kicked them out

 Heterosexually Challenged
Jul 142012
 

Ugh, what a depressing thing.  I’m lucky that my family have been 100% cool with the gay thing and even welcoming my partner into the fold without a second thought, especially considering their political leanings.  They’re conservative but not hatefully so.  A lot of people I know have had a very different experience–maybe not to the point of making them homeless, but definitely alienating them by passing religion-fueled judgment.

And as much as my mom drives me nuts with her Obama/Muslim crazy talk, she’s never been anything but supportive to me and welcoming to my partner.  She even asked him to be a pallbearer for her mother’s funeral!  I think if she was the religious type things may have been different, but she’s not–so she’s free to make up her own mind on how to feel about things.  Her parents (mostly her dad) were hardcore Republicans but not the churchy types.  They encouraged their daughters to learn and think for themselves, but with a conservative slant.  This is probably why my mother is an interesting mix of contradictions.  Because of her upbringing she’ll always vote Republican and swear that “the liberals and socialists” (who are all Muslim sympathizers, of course) will destroy this country…and yet she’s pro-choice, pro-environment, and pro-gay marriage.  Yeah, I don’t fully get it either!

As many as 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT, and a new Williams Institute study of youth shelters confirms this estimate. Between October 2011 and March 2012, 354 agencies completed surveys about their clients and found that about 40 percent of their homeless and non-homeless clients were LGBT 9 percent of whom identified as bisexual. About 30 percent of clients using housing-related services like emergency shelter and transitional living programs were LGBT.

What was particularly disconcerting about this study was how evident family rejection contributed to this disproportionate number of homeless LGBT youth.

Of all the agencies’ LGBT homeless clients, 68 percent have experienced family rejection and more than half 54 percent experienced abuse in their family. Fortunately, nearly 80 percent of the service providers who work with clients under the age of 18 are doing family acceptance-related work, though only about half of providers working with older youth offer such resources.

via ThinkProgress

Organically-grown jerkoffs

 General Blatherings
Jun 122012
 

This guy definitely eats organically-grown, sustainable lentil stew several times a week. And that makes him A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU.

I really, really can’t stand food snobbery, especially from self-righteous “foodies” who obsess over the organicness and sustainability of every goddamn thing they eat.  Yeah, it’s good to avoid eating too many pesticide-laden food.  It’s also good to consider the big picture and how our ever-demanding diets affect animals and the environment.  HOWEVER, being concerned about these things is no reason to be a self-congratulating prick about it.

The organic movement is largely driven by marketing and the bullshit associated with that, but the smugness that comes with it is what gets my goat the most.  It’s turned a lot of ordinary shoppers into snobs, much like the Prius cars with their smug drivers. Some people just want to eat healther food, which is great, but others want you to know they’re eating it and what a caring, world-conscious person they are for it. *snort*

Personally I will buy organic versions of certain veggies that tend to harbor high levels of pesticides (such as celery and cucumbers), but that’s pretty much where it ends.

“I stopped at a market to get a fruit platter for a movie night with friends but I couldn’t find one so I asked the produce guy,” says the 40-year-old arts administrator from Seattle. “And he was like, ‘If you want fruit platters, go to Safeway. We’re organic.’ I finally bought a small cake and some strawberries and then at the check stand, the guy was like ‘You didn’t bring your own bag? I need to charge you if you didn’t bring your own bag.’ It was like a ‘Portlandia skit.’ They were so snotty and arrogant.”

As it turns out, new research has determined that a judgmental attitude may just go hand in hand with exposure to organic foods. In fact, a new study published this week in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, has found that organic food may just make people act a bit like jerks.

“There’s a line of research showing that when people can pat themselves on the back for their moral behavior, they can become self-righteous,” says author Kendall Eskine, assistant professor of the department of psychological sciences at Loyola University in New Orleans. “I’ve noticed a lot of organic foods are marketed with moral terminology, like Honest Tea, and wondered if you exposed people to organic food, if it would make them pat themselves on the back for their moral and environmental choices. I wondered if they would be more altruistic or not.”

via TODAY Health

Trinity Broadcasting Network: a cesspit of embezzlement, secret gay trysts, and canine mobile homes

 Holy Shit! (Religion)
Apr 052012
 

"Honey, I sense a whole lotta morons in our audience today. Let's see how loose them wallets are. AMEN!!"

How sweet it is!  And who can be surprised?  The singing, crying evangelical sock-puppets known as Paul and Jan “The Raccoon” Crouch have obviously, OBVIOUSLY been playing fast and loose with their followers’ cash for many years.  All it takes to see this is to turn on the tube and watch these motherfuckers in their extravagant clothing on their lavishly-decorated set preaching and weeping to the  gullible, pathetic masses to donate as much money as they can…because while God created the universe and all its beauty, somehow he’s constantly short on cash.  I hope these two charlatans and their network go down in a giant ball of badly-coiffed flames.  Hallelujah!

McVeighs lawsuit makes the most damning allegations, claiming “unlawful and unreported income distributions to Trinity Broadcastings directors” with “multiple jet aircraft, including a $50m Global Express luxury jet aircraft purchased for the personal use of the Crouches through a sham loan … as well as an $8m Hawker jet aircraft purchased by Trinity Broadcasting for the personal use of director Janice Crouch”.

It also describes the purchase of “multiple motor vehicles, including a $100,000 motor home purchased by Trinity Broadcasting as a mobile residence for director Janice Crouchs dogs”.

Directors of the network are also accused of misusing funds to cover up sex scandals, including the alleged “cover-up and destruction of evidence concerning a bloody sexual assault involving Trinity Broadcasting and affiliated Holy Land Experience employees; the cover-up of director Janice Crouchs affair with a staff member at the Holy Land Experience; the cover-up of director Paul Crouchs use of Trinity Broadcasting funds to pay for a legal settlement with Enoch Lonnie Ford a former TBN employee who said he had a homosexual affair with [founder] Paul Crouch”.

via guardian.co.uk

"I AM SO HAPPY WITH JESUS AND GOD AND STUFF THANK U FOR YOUR CASH MY HAIR THANKS U 2 PLS HELP ME I KNOW I'M A SHITTY PERSON AMEN"

 

Angry Space Birds in Space

 Geek Streak
Mar 222012
 

“Angry Birds Space” went on sale last night.  Two weeks ago, after news broke that this game was coming, another game called “Space Birds” hit iTunes.  Look familiar?  It’s a rip-off in every possible way…VERY lazy.  Come on, people!  Write your own games, don’t copy the hits right down to the artwork just so you can make a few easy bucks off the easily fooled.

Then again, if you’re dumb enough to think this is an actual Angry Birds game, maybe you deserve to lose that dollar!

So long, you evil twat.

 Idiots & Assholes (Politics)
Mar 162012
 

You might have noticed that the death of Andrew Breitbart, right-wing nutjob extraordinaire and provocateur douchenozzle, has gone without mention on my site.  Surely this is someone I’d have something to say about!

But today I realized I didn’t have much to say about him.  Why waste more time on people like that, especially when they’re dead?  Enough has been said about him, it’s time to move on…until the next big-mouthed conservatard comes along, that is.

(OK, maybe I did have a few parting words about him…)

Some atheists sure are assholes.

 Holy Shit! (Religion)
Mar 112012
 

You know what?  There are a lot of atheists on Twitter.  Apparently they’re a very vocal bunch.  I’ve been following many of them for a few months now, but lately I’m feeling less impressed.  In fact, I’m turned off enough by most of them to stop reading.

It’s hard to explain why, exactly, but mostly it’s because many of them come across as total jerkoffs with their constant “Fuck religion, so there!” tone.  They tweet a steady stream of what they must think are hard-hitting proclamations against god or religion, with the goals of 1) making readers think “Ohhh, snap! He/she really stuck it to those Christians with that one!  Such witty and razor-sharp atheist observations!”,  2) accumulating as many followers/readers as possible, and 3) provoking Christians with their nasty, offensive comments into endless back-and-forth arguments so they can defend their non-belief with more insults.  I know that Twitter exists so people can blab the minutiae of their brains to anyone who wants to see it, but this sort of obvious targeted antagonism (trolling, really) is just rubbing me the wrong way for some reason.  I call them “asshole atheists” because their goal seems to be simply to provoke believers and increase those reader numbers.  It’s probably a big boost to their egos.

Oddly enough, this mirrors what the most popular Christians and Bible-bangers on Twitter are doing:  they spout thousands of “inspirational” tweets (or Bible quotes) each day with the goals of 1) making readers think “Wow, such inspiration and faith!  I feel, like, soooo uplifted and close to Jesus and stuff!”, 2) accumulating as many followers/readers as possible, and 3) engaging with “the enemy” by drawing them into religious debates.  I’ve seen this happen a lot.

Now, far be it from me to pretend to be innocent of being an asshole towards Christians.  I’ve spent more years than I care to admit typing outraged tirades against them and their actions, and I’m not proud of 100% of it…  95%, perhaps. :)  The difference, I think, is that I tend to target people acting stupid/evil on behalf of their religion–ignorant twats who think they know what god wants, or else just use their religion as an excuse to harm and oppress others.  And I’ll admit that sometimes I just want to mock innocent, everyday Christians in general so I’ll do something along those lines, because to me their beliefs and behavior often beg to be mocked (plus, that’s just the kinda guy I am).  Essentially I do all this because I am clinically opinionated.  But I don’t do it with the goal of offending large swaths of people or drumming up more readers, because I really don’t give a shit about that.  I don’t even know how many people actively read my blatherings here.  I just do it for me.  It’s a kind of coping mechanism, I think…maybe even therapy!

Am I completely full of shit on this?  I don’t know…but I do see a difference in what I do vs. what these mega-tweeting atheists are doing, and I don’t want to be like them.  You can express your opinion or vent your ideas without resorting to such public and widespread dick-waving.  To me it just makes you look desperate for attention.

Sheriff Arpaio: America’s defense against fake birth certificate fakers

 Idiots & Assholes (Politics), Unfuckingbelievable!
Mar 012012
 

Arizona’s batshit-crazy sheriff, a megalomaniacal  master of racial, political, and sexist asshattery, is still suckling desperately at the withered teats of the “OMG OBAMA’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS LIKE FAKE AND STUFF OMG!” cow.  Jesus effing Christ on a cracker–somebody commit this asshole to an institution before he hurts himself!

America’s self-proclaimed toughest sheriff finds himself entangled these days in his own thorny legal troubles: a federal grand jury probe over alleged abuse of power, Justice Department accusations of racial profiling and revelations that his department didn’t adequately investigate hundreds of Arizona sex-crime cases.

Rather than seek cover, though, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is seeking to grab the spotlight in the same unorthodox fashion that has helped boost his career as a nationally known lawman.

Arpaio on Thursday unveiled preliminary results of an investigation, conducted by members of his volunteer cold-case posse, into the authenticity of President Barack Obama’s birth certificate, a controversy that has been widely debunked but which remains alive in the eyes of some conservatives.

And, of course, the right wing loooooves him.  They can’t get enough of him…that’s why they keep electing him sheriff in Arizona so he can continue his rampaging abuse of power and wastes of tax money like these “special projects.”

GOP presidential candidates have courted him for his endorsement throughout the primary season. At last week’s GOP presidential debate in Arizona, Arpaio won loud cheers. During a question about Arizona’s border woes, Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum said the government ought to give local police agencies the chance to enforce immigration law as Arpaio has.

via azcentral.com

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