So you went out to a couple of clubs with your man, drank a few Screwdrivers and a shot (or two) of Goldschlager, then danced like a happy idiot in front of a group of stunned-yet-equally-as-drunk onlookers. Then you both came home, smelling like the lungs of a chainsmoker, fried up a couple of veggie burgers, and sat on the couch in your underwear watching “Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law” until 4am. Finally you go to bed, only to wake up many hours later still stinking like an airport ashtray and feeling too crunchy to make coffee. (Hmmm, why is all this starting to sound familiar? I just can’t imagine.) What do you do?? Why, you jump in the shower and break out the caffeinated soap! That’s right, your skin will absorb about 200mg of caffeine (per shower), jumpstarting your brain enough to make you feel somewhat human again. I must admit that I haven’t tried it yet, but it’s in my shopping cart at this very moment…..
Jul 132005
Speaking as a former caffeine addict who crashed one night on three 54 ounce mugs of Dr. Pepper, one 54 ounce mug of coffee, and two Vivarin, I have to say how amazing it is that caffeine addicts always need a new way to ingest their drug of choice.
You’ve got caffeinated mints, water, hot sauce, chocolates, and breath sprays; not to mention close to forty-five brands of sodas, over a hundred “enrgey” drinks of varying flavors, and of course the good old fashioned way of doing it, coffee. And yet, it’s never quite enough. Now you need to get a fix through osmosis too. I’m just wondering at what point do you admit you’re an addict and tone it down. Or is it that you have to get as bad as I did, when my body was so wired that I was shaking my co-workers’ computers simply by trying to hold onto my desk?
Oh yeah, we need this. It’ll go so well with my crystal meth shampoo and LSD hand cream.
Hope it works. Skin doesn’t have any digestive system, so the skin’s ingesting of caffeine is an impossiblity. Clarins & Clinique sell caffeinated creams to “remove cellulite–I wondered how long it would take for it to be put into soap!
Well, how does it work? Update, please.