Jul 182005
 

Have you ever wondered what the worst way to die would be?  Burning to a crisp, being chomped by a shark, getting disemboweled by an ostrich, dismemberment with a shrimp fork, prolonged exposure to Joanna Newsom…there are so many possibilities.  However, after long and careful consideration, I think that having your colon pulverized by a horse’s schlong has to rank right up there at the top for me.  This story is all over the local news and everyone’s a-twitter about it…  Sex with horses?  Giving and receiving?  Ack!!

ENUMCLAW — Authorities are reviewing hundreds of hours of videotapes seized from a rural Enumclaw-area farm that police say is frequented by men who engage in sex acts with animals.

The videotapes police have viewed thus far depict men having sex with horses, including one that shows a Seattle man shortly before he died July 2, said Enumclaw police Cmdr. Eric Sortland. Police are reviewing the tapes to make sure no laws have been broken.

<smip>

However, authorities didn’t learn about the farm until a man drove up to Enumclaw Community Hospital on July 2 seeking medical assistance for a companion. Medics wheeled the man into an examination room before realizing he was dead. When hospital workers looked for the driver, he was gone.

Using the dead man’s driver’s license to track down relatives and acquaintances, authorities were led to the Enumclaw farm. Some earlier reports had said hospital-surveillance cameras were used to track down the driver.

The dead man was identified as a 45-year-old Seattle resident. According to the King County Medical Examiner’s Office, he died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon. The man’s death is not being investigated because it did not result from a crime, Urquhart said.

  4 Responses to “He really loved that horse.”

  1. I think this qualifies for the Darwin awards! Holy crap! Gives new meaning to “hung like a horse”. What a fool! I can’t cry over the loss of a life to something so retarded. And, it doesn’t appear that the horse suffered at all, so why are animal rights groups getting so worked up?!

  2. The only thing worse would be to swallow a bunch of dynamite and then someone throws a lit match down your throat.

  3. Thanks for the Joanna Newsome reference. I was wondering who won the gold medal in the “Special Harp Playing Olympics.

  4. You know, the ad about midway down the article depicting a hand choking a chicken really couldn’t be more well placed……

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