The Pope is dead! Wait, no he isn’t! Remind you of anything in particular?
CART-MASTER: Bring out your dead!
VATICAN: Here’s one.
CART-MASTER: Ninepence.
POPE: I’m not dead!
CART-MASTER: What?
VATICAN: Nothing. Here’s your ninepence.
POPE: I’m not dead!
CART-MASTER: ‘Ere. He says he’s not dead!
VATICAN: Yes he is.
POPE: I’m not!
CART-MASTER: He isn’t?
VATICAN: Well, he will be soon. He’s very ill.
POPE: I’m getting better!
VATICAN: No you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment.
CART-MASTER: Oh, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
POPE: I don’t want to go on the cart!
VATICAN: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
CART-MASTER: I can’t take him.
POPE: I feel fine!
VATICAN: Well, do us a favor.
CART-MASTER: I can’t.
VATICAN: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
CART-MASTER: No, I’ve got to go to the Robinson’s. They’ve lost nine today.
VATICAN: Well, when’s your next round?
CART-MASTER: Thursday.
POPE: I think I’ll go for a walk.
VATICAN: You’re not fooling anyone you know. Look, isn’t there something you can do?
POPE: [singing] I feel happy… I feel happy![CART-MASTER whacks POPE on the head with a club: *whop*]
VATICAN: Ah, thanks very much.
CART-MASTER: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
VATICAN: Right. All right.
This is what happens when I get bored at work and start reading the news. 