Seattle was rocked by yesterday’s announcement that lounging on railroad tracks for fun can get you smooshed by a train. Indeed, these are times of amazement and discovery! And just get a load of this brilliant quote:
We’ve got different amusements, different types of things that, you know, that kind of satisfy us and amuse us. We used to do this all the time… That’s why everybody’s in disbelief because, you know, like, we’ve done it so much that we didn’t realize that a freak accident would happen like this.
A freak accident, are you fucking kidding me? Dude, like, how high ARE you, anyway?? This was no freak accident, it was Nature scrubbing the gene pool. And if you’re going to mourn him by going back down to sit on the tracks, maybe you should stick around a while so Nature can finish the job.
Goddamn, people are stupid.

You can always count on natural selection.
This reminds me of that story in the 80s when the people attempting to cross a desert by foot died of dehydration. They really should do something about those deserts. They’re a menace!