Worst product of the week: homeopathy for kids
Oh, great: pseudoscience quackery is now being targeted specifically at children. “Here, Bobby, have a sugar pill! It’ll make that nasty earache disappear!”
Jan 072013
Mar 242012
Christ. If there’s anything that will make me stop going to the movies forever, it’s paying a higher price to not see a movie in 3-D. I avoid watching new movies in 3-D whenever I can–I think it’s an expensive, gimmicky way to get people into theaters and it has very little payoff in terms of making it a more exciting experience (“Avatar” was a rare exception, though I still didn’t find it as mind-blowing as some did).
So, in a nutshell… Fuck. That. Shit.
Writing for Screen Trade Magazine Joe Paletta, CEO of Spotlight Theaters, announces that cinemas will begin to eliminate the premium charges on 3D movies and raise the prices of 2D movies to make up the difference. This gives me the rage. 3D movies give me a headache and eye-strain, and I actively avoid them. I hate the idea that Id be charged a premium on the few 2D movies I can find in order to subsidize 3D screenings.
via Boing Boing
Mar 012012
Arizona’s batshit-crazy sheriff, a megalomaniacal master of racial, political, and sexist asshattery, is still suckling desperately at the withered teats of the “OMG OBAMA’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS LIKE FAKE AND STUFF OMG!” cow. Jesus effing Christ on a cracker–somebody commit this asshole to an institution before he hurts himself!
America’s self-proclaimed toughest sheriff finds himself entangled these days in his own thorny legal troubles: a federal grand jury probe over alleged abuse of power, Justice Department accusations of racial profiling and revelations that his department didn’t adequately investigate hundreds of Arizona sex-crime cases.
Rather than seek cover, though, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is seeking to grab the spotlight in the same unorthodox fashion that has helped boost his career as a nationally known lawman.
Arpaio on Thursday unveiled preliminary results of an investigation, conducted by members of his volunteer cold-case posse, into the authenticity of President Barack Obama’s birth certificate, a controversy that has been widely debunked but which remains alive in the eyes of some conservatives.
And, of course, the right wing loooooves him. They can’t get enough of him…that’s why they keep electing him sheriff in Arizona so he can continue his rampaging abuse of power and wastes of tax money like these “special projects.”
GOP presidential candidates have courted him for his endorsement throughout the primary season. At last week’s GOP presidential debate in Arizona, Arpaio won loud cheers. During a question about Arizona’s border woes, Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum said the government ought to give local police agencies the chance to enforce immigration law as Arpaio has.
via azcentral.com
Feb 292012
This is truly sick. How much time and money are we wasting on crap like this? This undercover cop actually led some poor kid to fall in love with her, eventually asking him to buy her some weed. Now he’s got a record for a pointless, victimless crime that he was essentially seduced into committing. This is what America’s “war on drugs” has led to, folks: wasted money and jails crowded with nonviolent offenders while freely-sold alcohol continues to kill millions.
More fun from the self-loathing society: This American Life had a show about how young female undercover cops infiltrated a high school and flirted with boys to entrap them into selling pot, so they could charge them with felonies and destroy their lives at an early age.
via Boing Boing
Feb 212012
Holy shit! A burger restaurant named Heart Attack Grill–which advertises to our fattest, most disgusting and depressing citizens (even giving them free food if they weigh over 300 pounds)–has actually KILLED someone with its food. Dead. Right there in the fucking restaurant. Is this awesome or what? It’s like watching the American dream come to life right before our eyes! And how appropriate that Fox News was there on the scene.
LAS VEGAS FOX5 -A man suffered a heart attack at a restaurant known for glorifying bad eating habits. The ‘Heart Attack Grill’ lived up to its name Saturday night.
Amateur video of the man being wheeled out of the restaurant by EMTs was posted to several websites.
“He was having the sweats and shaking,” said ‘Nurse’ Bridgett, who was working at the restaurant when the man in his 40s began experiencing chest pains.
“Doctor” Jon Basso, who opened the infamous restaurant in October, told FOX5 at first he thought it was a joke.
“One of the nurses came back to me and said, ‘Dr. Jon, we’ve got a patient who’s in trouble.’”
The restaurant is known for not holding back on the food it serves. The menu includes items like Flatliner Fries, and Bypass Burgers. A meal can easily exceed 8,000 calories.
The gentleman who suffered the heart attack was in the middle of eating a Triple Bypass burger when he began experiencing the symptoms.
via FOX5 Vegas
This here is the founder of Heart Attack Grill. He died in March, 2011 due to "the flu." Riiiight.
OK, OK…maybe it’s not “awesome” that some poor asshole died in this restaurant. But to me the concept is, because that’s the restaurant’s whole marketing shtick. ”C’mon in and die while y’all eat, hyuk-hyuk! No, not really! But maybe!” It’s a horrifying and vastly depressing statement about what we’ve become as Americans. Imagine: some of us are so empty and unfulfilled that we eat ourselves to death. We’re a grotesque, morbidly obese nation and this restaurant is the pinnacle of what a nation of desperate face-stuffers can accomplish.
Have a nice day! 
Dec 082011
How romantic! *gag* Talk about scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel in taste and dignity. This is almost (but not quite) as bad as that puke-inducing wedding at a Waffle House. I wonder if the bride threw a scalding-hot drink over her head for some unlucky bridesmaid to catch. That would actually be pretty awesome.
You homophobes who think marriage is still “sacred” can stick this right in your latte hole!
In a scene that could be straight out of Best In Show, a couple whose romanced blossomed over cups of Starbucks’ pricey caffeine decided that the java joint was the perfect place to bind themselves together for eternity.
The dream wedding happened last night at a Starbucks in Tulsa, where the couple has become a bit of a fixture during their time together.
via The Consumerist.
Nov 092011
Documenting this woman’s new spawn has become something of a tradition here at Quantum Moronics. First in 2004 (last paragraph), again in 2005, once more in 2007, and now here we are again. I must have missed spawn #18 and #19, perhaps a subconscious effort to not have to write about this crazy, irresponsible bitch and her disgusting horny husband again. But of course now I have to.
I bet you could drive this through her gaping, whithered twatflaps.
The birth of a 20th baby from one set of parents is bound to raise some eyebrows — or drop some jaws and spur some expressions of horror. Add to the total number of children these tidbits: Mom is 45; the last Duggar addition — born in December 2009, three months early and at 1 pound, 6 ounces — began life in a neonatal intensive care unit; and the size of the family and its continued growth are the basis for a reality show.
On Tuesday, tweets included the unkind variety — “sick,” “stupid” and “out of control” — as well as the what-did-they-ever-do-to-you variety — “You are not impacted by them procreating.” And then there was the innocuous: “Have they not run out of names starting with J?” The kids are: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie.
via latimes.com
Aug 312011
Holy fuckin’ shitballs, folks! 700 cats. SEVEN HUNDRED! That’s how many they found in a house in Flordia. 700 goddamn cats.
Now, this site is no stranger to cat hoarding. Well, that is…I’ve been posting stories about cat hoarding for a few years: once in 2003 (171 cats), again in 2004 (200 cats), yet again in 2005 (300+ cats), and the last one in 2006 (168 cats). So it’s been a while. But SEVEN HUNDRED FUCKING CATS? Are these psychotic monsters hoarding more nowadays or what?
Police raided Floridas Haven Acres Cat Sanctuary population: 692 fewer cats than they had before, and in doing so uncovered “the biggest case of cat hoarding the Humane Society of the United States has ever participated in.” The proprietors of said kitty slum, Pennie and Steven Lefkowitz, are each facing 47 counts of animal cruelty, which includes one for a neglected rooster. All charges are third-degree felonies.
via Gawker
Aug 252011
This is OH so depressing: a 700-pound woman wants to more than double her weight, simply for the fame. What the hell is wrong with people like this? Is this some sort of mental illness, or just a simple craving for attention? I can’t make sense of it. And, of course, she’s a huge opponent (so to speak) of size discrimination, claiming it’s “the last form of accepted discrimination.” Um, this isn’t about judging fat people. This is about judging stupid, thoughtless behavior by people with a death wish. She’s going to kill herself and leave her two kids without a mother, all because of some idiotic goal of being the fattest woman in the world. ’Tis truly the American dream!
This woman needs to regain some dignity and go on a fucking diet, stat. Nobody should be this heavy, ever…especially on purpose! I have sympathy for people with legitimate weight problems, but not self-abusers like this.
The 32-year-old Arizona mother of two plans on reaching her 1,600+ pound goal by the time shes 41 or 42, according to the Sun. Despite her enormous intake, her two sons apparently have a normal diet.
While the pursuit might not exactly seem like the most attractive of goals to go after, Eman told the Sun that shes found that men actually find her weight to be a bit of a turn-on. Shes even a model for a few SSBBW websites. “The bigger I get, the better I feel. I feel confident and sexy,” she told the Sun.
However, shes not even quite halfway to her 1,600lb goal. She currently weighs about 728 pounds, according to the NY Daily News. Yet it seems her daily diet will do a lot to push her toward her goal.
via Huffington Post
Jun 202011
What a total crock. Mormons baptising people after death is nothing new, but this is one I take as a personal insult. Not that I think these post-death baptisms have any actual relgious effect whatsoever, because it’s all bullshit, but it’s the principle that gets my goat. Leave the memory of these people the fuck alone!
If you don’t know it, the Mormon Church has a curious habit tradition? doctrine? what would it be called? of baptizing dead people as Mormons posthumously. This is the subject of a blog called Famous Dead Mormons tag line = “Saved After Death, whether willing or not.”. Apparently baptizing famous people became a bit of a “fad” in the 1990s Think of it, perhaps, as a Mormon “prank.”
Believe if or not, infamously outspoken hater of religion George Carlin is now, that’s right, a Mormon in the afterlife. I’m sure this will be news to him. Can you imagine his reaction to this???
via Dangerous Minds